The Abandoned Child
by JusticeIsn'tEasy0083
Summary: "But grief makes a monster out of us sometimes . . . and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you can't forgive yourself for." When Kurt was five, his mother abandoned him miles from home. Thirteen years later, he embarks on a journey to discover the truth. But the truth isn't always the best thing. Join the gang as they embark on this incredible journey.
1. Lost in my Own Way

**A/N: Hello, this is a new story. I have always had this idea just in my head, and I know that it might be morbid of whatever, but I read this book a while back, and it's loosely based on that. Nothing that the author of that book wrote is in here, it's just in context. I hope you guys like it. I don't think I've ever written a Kurt/Nick friendship either, which is always fun to explore. Read and Review. I will try to get back to posting regularly, but you know... life and stuff. Thanks. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

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**Chapter One: Lost in my Own Way**

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On weekends, the dorms are abandoned. People go home to their families, spend the weekends with them. Kurt doesn't leave though. His father is away on business and his step-mother has gone with him, so he chose to stay at school this weekend. It's not all that bad though. Nick and Wes and Blaine are going to be there, and he can't complain about that. Of course, he's been alone before, it wouldn't bother him. He knows that people always leave, but he hopes they will stay this time. They're sitting in the Warbler common room, chatting amicably between themselves, Kurt just reading on the couch, Nick and Blaine on the other side of the room, talking about set lists. He would join the conversation, but he's come to the realization that his opinions don't really have any effect on the final decision anymore, so he's staying out of it. He just sings what Wes and David tell them to sing. Part of him wishes that he was going home tonight; he could curl up in his own bed, and watch the rain pour outside his window, listening to the mumbled sounds of his step-brother playing video games downstairs with Puckerman and Sam. To be honest, he doesn't know what he wants right now. He should be concentrating on the book that he's reading, but it's difficult. There are so many things going through his mind lately, he hasn't been able to focus on much. Sleeping doesn't help either, because he dreams of the things that keep him awake, and he wonders if talking to the Councillor would actually help the nightmares that recur every night. Blaine would freak if he knew that he wasn't sleeping. He and the lead Warbler have been dating for almost six months now. They haven't had sex yet, they're waiting for the right time, and there are still so many things about his life that Blaine doesn't know about.

Mercedes would tell him to stop being such an idiot and just tell Blaine about it, but she doesn't understand how hard it is to talk about. He was five years old when his mother took off and left him at a gas station, miles from home. He's been through more in his life before eighteen, than any other kid his age. He's gay as well, and in Lima, that was hard for him to comprehend. Now he's here at Dalton, free to be himself, and it's like there's a wall preventing him from truly embracing that part. Maybe Rachel is right; he's not the same person he used to be last year. But alot of things have changed since then too. Wes enters the room at this point, shouting about having a "Camp out" in the common room, with movies and popcorn, and Nick and Blaine agree, following the head council member out to their Worthington House common room. Kurt didn't move, but it wasn't unusual. Blaine would be back in to get him shortly, and this way, he can finish his book without distractions. They're the only three from their house left for the weekend anyway, so he'd rather not waste the time he has to study. Like clockwork, Blaine arrives back in the Warbler common room, and sits down beside Kurt, kissing his cheek, and leaning his head on the taller boys shoulder. The countertenor smiles, and marks his position in the book, standing and holding out his hand for Blaine, who takes it, smiling when Kurt pulls him in for a kiss, and they head out of the room, taking the short trip across the yard to Worthington House.

'I really think we should watch _Red 2. _Hello Helen Mirren,' Wes said, as Kurt and Blaine joined them

'I don't want to watch that movie. Why not _Monsters University_? Blaine hasn't seen it yet, and I know Kurt hasn't seen it,' Nick replied, winking at the two who nodded

'Okay, I can deal with that. Monster's it is. I'll go get it,' Wes said, running out of the common room

'Thank god you convinced him to watch that movie,' Blaine said, as Kurt curled up to him on the couch, under the light blanket Nick had handed them.

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_It was cold. He knew that much. His mother had been in such a hurry to get them out of the house, she had forgotten to pack him a sweater to wear over the polo he currently had on. His jeans barely covered his ankles, and his father's hat was too big for his small head. They were driving fast, the trees blurred out the window; his mother looked terrified in the driver's seat beside him. He wanted to understand why she had taken him from his father, and headed into the distance, leaving the large white house behind him, his father running after the car, screaming for them to turn around. He was scared, confused and cold. But the heater in the car doesn't work, and his mother is frantic. So he sits in silence as she drives, further and further from his father and from Lima where they live. Somewhere along the way, he falls asleep, and when he wakes, they're stopped at a gas station in a town, two hours away from his father. Kurt gets out of the car, seeing his mother filling the tank. She doesn't say anything to him, just stares at him like he's not there. He tells her that he needs to use the toilet, and she finishes with the gas, grabbing his small hand, and leading him to the toilets out the back. She leaves him alone to pay for the petrol, promising she'll come back and get him so he doesn't get lost. He's five years old, of course he believes that she's going to come back and get him. She's his mother after all. But when Kurt gets out of the bathroom, his mother isn't at the counter, nor waiting for him at the door. He heads out to where the car was, and sees it's gone. He doesn't know whether or not she's coming back, so he sits on the edge of the step near the door, knees pulled up to his chest, trying to fight off the cold. She left him here, alone, in the cold, miles away from the home he knows so well. _

_The day turns to night, and more and more people walk past the little boy curled into himself by the door to the gas station. They walk in and out, right past him, not even seeing him. He's only five, but he knows that his mother has left him there, he knows, deep down that she's not going to come back for him, but he doesn't know how to call his father, he doesn't have the number. Even if he did, the man behind the register probably wouldn't let him use the phone. The Ohio air is freezing at night, it's starting to affect him, his teeth are chattering, and his hands feel like they're frozen. Closing his eyes, Kurt wonders if this is a dream, if maybe he's still in the car with his mother and this is all in his imagination, but then he hears voices, and opens his eyes. He's still at the gas station... alone and cold. A white van pulls into the gas station, and a young woman gets out of the car, her young son with her. She sees him sitting there, and kneels down beside him._

'_Hi there, my name is Mandy, this is my son Nick. Are you waiting for someone?' she asked, as the little boy smiled at him_

'_My mommy left me here. I wanna go home,' Kurt managed to squeak out, and the woman's face fell, tears in her eyes as she scooped Kurt up in her arms_

'_Where do you live? Can you remember?' she asked, as Nick helped her to put Kurt in the van, she was going to take this little boy home to his father_

'_Lima, Ohio, my daddy lives there,' Kurt replied, and the woman burst into tears_

'_Okay, I'm going to take you home,' Mandy said, closing the door to the van and moving to get in the driver's seat, Nick buckling himself in beside Kurt._

_Kurt didn't say anything the whole way back to Lima, but the police cars out the front of the house when they arrived, and Kurt's father watching the van pull up, made Kurt sit up straight in his seat. Mandy helped him out, and Kurt ran into his father's arms. Burt Hummel thanked the woman for bringing him home, offered her a reward, but she didn't want anything, just Kurt home safe. He thanked her again, and took Kurt inside, not letting him go as he turned on the heaters, and the fire, and made Kurt food..._

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Kurt woke in a sweat, the memory vivid in his mind. He hadn't had a dream about that moment for a while, but these weekends proved that alot of weird things were happening. Finn had called him before he'd fallen asleep and asked if he was coming home, because he wanted to stay at Puck's, to which Kurt had let him. It's not like they never spend time together, but Finn deserves to have time with his friends. Blaine is still entranced in the movie on the screen, and Kurt realises that he's been asleep for almost two hours, as they've changed the movie now to _MacGruber_. It takes him a moment to re-adjust to the light and the movie change, but soon enough he can hear Wes' voice behind him, calling for more food. Blaine kisses his temple, noticing he's awake and stands to get them more food, knowing Wes would completely destroy everything. Since Kurt transferred to Dalton last year, he's become good friends with most of the Warblers, but he's probably closest with Nick, in the sense that he'd consider Nick his best-friend, like he does Blaine his boyfriend. The movie is paused, giving them the chance to listen to the two people in the kitchen arguing about what food they can eat, and whether or not they should order pizza. Nick laughs and moves over to where Kurt is sitting, showing him the photo he took on his phone of Jeff splayed out on the floor two weeks ago, after an intense six hour Warbler rehearsal. Kurt chuckles as he listens to his friend talk about his boyfriend. Everyone who knows Nick and Jeff knows they've been together for practically ever. Nick was the one who told Kurt that Blaine liked him before they got together, and it took them long enough when it happened. He's also the son of the woman who brought him home to his father thirteen years ago, after his mother had abandoned him. They don't talk about it, when Kurt first transferred here; he made Nick promise he wouldn't bring it up.

Of course, both boys now understand what really went down that day; they've been friends since back then. Mandy would bring Nick over to play, and Burt would take Kurt over there. When they became teens, they went to different schools, but managed to stay in contact. Blaine went to McKinley on the request of Nick to bring Kurt here, and now they've been able to become almost as close as brothers. Finn gets along with Nick well too, so it makes it alot easier. Kurt knows that he has to tell Blaine about this, but there has never really been any good time to share. Nick stood to go and see what was taking Wes and Blaine so long with the food, leaving Kurt to think back over the dream he'd had. His father had never told him the reason his mother took him in the first place, or why she was the way she had been that day, he'd never asked though, so maybe he was closer to answers than he thought. Before he had time to text his father, Blaine and Wes came back into the room, carrying what looked to be half the freaking kitchen, making Kurt chuckle as Blaine had to fight to keep the things on the table as Wes just dropped them. Blaine returned to the couch, curling up to Kurt, who smiled and pressed a kiss against his boyfriend's cheek, before grabbing the remote from Wes, who pouted and threatened the use of Mr. Bangy, to which Kurt feigned fright, and laughed as Nick started pulling faces from behind the head Warbler. The movie was re-started and played through the silence, which was also interrupted by Wes eating popcorn and laughing whenever something funny happened. Kurt just stayed curled to Blaine, wondering if maybe he should ask his father about the events of that day, coming to the conclusion that dredging up bad memories from the past wouldn't do them any good. As far as Kurt knows, his mother is dead. It's harsh, but that's the reality you're faced with after being abandoned at a gas station miles from home.

'This movie is ridiculous,' Kurt said, as the credits rolled

'I have to agree, that was weird,' Blaine said, grabbing his phone to check the time

'I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm so tired,' Nick said, saying goodnight as he left the other three boys sitting there

'I think we need to watch another movie, and order pizza. Come on, Nicky's going to bed early, we can be night owls,' Wes replied, pulling out his phone to order pizza, whilst Kurt and Blaine just ignored him

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When Wes had passed out on the couch in the common room, Kurt and Blaine headed up to their dorm room, to ready themselves for bed. The bed in their room is double, but they don't do anything they're not comfortable with, and they haven't felt the need to have sex yet, they're only eighteen, plenty of time for that kind of thing. Nick has told him all about his escapades with Jeff, most of which Kurt wishes he could un-hear. Blaine believes that they'll both know when they're ready, and when the time comes, they'll be mature enough to talk about it. Finn even thinks that it's weird they haven't had sex, but also told Kurt that he's not allowed to let Blaine rush it, or he'll deck the guy. Kurt had to laugh when he found out how protective of him Finn had become. Even Puckerman had threatened bodily harm on Blaine and the Warblers. It was nice to know that he had great friends and a brother who love him unconditionally, especially after the life he's had. Puckerman had been mad when he heard about Kurt's past. He was practically radiating fury, and Kurt was a little afraid the boy would attack him, but Puck just hugged him, and told him that he knows what it's like to have a parent abandon you, that if he needs to talk, he could. Kurt had seen a side of Puckerman that day that he didn't think he'd ever see. Blaine was talking about Warbler rehearsals when Kurt climbed into bed beside him. It was amazing, that the staff at Dalton hadn't found out about the sleeping arrangements that Kurt and Nick had made for themselves. Blaine and Jeff were roommates, and Nick was bunking with Kurt, but on weekends, they would switch, and Nick would stay with Jeff whilst Blaine stayed with Kurt.

Kurt knew that shutting Blaine up would result in trouble, but he couldn't help himself. He leaned over to kiss Blaine, making the other boy stop mid sentence to return the kiss, laying Kurt back so he could deepen it. The countertenor chuckled as Blaine tried to shift their positions to get more comfortable, but ended up almost rolling them out of the bed. Once again, he was silenced by lips meeting his, as their make out session continued, both knowing that tomorrow, when the other boys starting arriving back for Monday classes the following day, they wouldn't be able to do this much. Of course, one would have thought that having been tired when they'd decided to go to bed, they would have fallen straight to sleep, but Blaine seems to have found a new burst of energy that is propelling them to areas they aren't ready to fly to yet. That doesn't mean they're going to stop though, eventually, they'll tire and then everything will go black as they fall asleep in each other's arms. Cheesy, he knows, but Kurt has allowed himself to live in this fantasy life for so long, sometimes it's hard to return to the real world, to understand the real love that he has with Blaine. Finn told him once, that he sometimes stares off into the distance, out the window, like she's going to come back or something, but he just shrugs it off, by telling him not to mention her, and Finn leaves, defeated once more. If he's trying to help, he's going the wrong way about it. Brittany is more of a help than he is, and sometimes, she has no idea what's going on. Kurt breaks the kiss first, snuggling up to Blaine, wrapping his arms around him as he falls into sleep, a content smile on his face, hoping that his dreams don't involve waking up in a cold sweat, with Blaine beside him, because then he'll have to explain to the boy that he loves so deeply about his fucked up past. Blaine kisses his forehead, and whispers goodnight, snuggling down under the covers to shield them from the cold air around them... a cold Kurt knows all too well...

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_When Kurt woke the next morning, his father was asleep on the couch in his bedroom. They had put it in there to sleep on when Kurt was having nightmares earlier, but now its use is clear. The five year old sits up, rubbing his eyes to rid himself of the final remnants of sleep and begins to wonder when on earth he managed to get into bed, realising that his father must have carried him up when he was asleep. Burt stirs from his slumber, rubbing his eyes, and sitting up, coming face-to-face with his son, who he immediately pulls into another hug when he walks over to say good morning. He hasn't had the chance to ask Kurt what happened, but after he's been fed, they're going to spend the day together, having a chat. Kurt smiles at his father, but Burt can tell it's not a full smile, it doesn't reach his sons eyes, and he still feels like he's cold, even though the heaters are on, and he's rugged up from head to toes. Kurt can still feel that cold, even though he's inside, it's like its permanently inside his body, slowly freezing him to death. He shakes his head, trying not to remember that his mother had driven off, leaving him there alone. He does remember the woman and her son Nick, who had found him and brought him home. Kurt wondered if his father would drive him over to say thank you. Nick seemed nice; maybe he and Kurt would be friends... Kurt's always wanted a brother, maybe Nick could pretend that he is or something. _

'_Daddy, why is all the warmers on?' Kurt asked as he followed the balding man downstairs_

'_You were freezing last night Kurt when Mandy brought you home, so I wanted to get you warm. Do you feel warmer son?' Burt asked, flicking on the kitchen light_

'_No, I feel cold still. Why did mommy leave me there?' Kurt asked, and Burt tried to stop himself from bursting into tears as he turned around and knelt down in front of his son_

'_When you're older Kurt, I'll explain it to you. Right now, how about breakfast? Then we can go see Nick again if you like. Mandy gave me their address,' Burt said, and Kurt grinned happily, moving to help his father._

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Burt wanted to get home as soon as possible. Carole was hurrying beside him. He knew he wouldn't be home in time for Kurt to come back, but at least he'd have the option. He had promised his son he would never leave, and Kurt knew that he would be back, but it still didn't mean he wouldn't keep his promises. He and Carole hurried through the airport to get to their car and drive back to Lima. Carole hoped her son hadn't destroyed their house with Puckerman and Sam over the weekend, but knew that Finn was a good kid, and even without Kurt, he wouldn't do anything stupid. Still he's a boy, and when those three get together, they spell trouble with a capital T. She also knew that Burt had to be home by three, because that's what time Kurt would be calling him. She had been told about his past, and was actually hurt that a mother could do that to their child, the way Kurt's had done to him. He was five years old. It was lucky that Mandy Duval had come along when she did, otherwise Kurt might not have gotten home to his father. So it was justified that her husband would be a little tense as they threw their bags into the car, and climbed in, speeding off out of the airport, heading back to their house. Carole took his spare hand, and smiled when Burt turned to look at her, he kissed her hand, whispering 'I love you'. They had the silent talk between them... this would be a long weekend for them, and the only time Kurt wouldn't be home from Dalton with them. Maybe they could salvage a little of their trip? Provided they could get rid of Finn... It shouldn't be too hard, her son is easily persuaded, and Puckerman is always happy for the quarterback to stay at his house whenever he's kicked out by his parents. In a loving way of course, just so they can have some time to themselves.

When they did get home, Finn was crashed on the couch in the lounge, snoring, unaware that his parents were home, and watching him. Carole clapped loudly, and Finn groaned as he landed on the floor below him, Carole laughing as Burt moved into the kitchen to wait for Kurt to call. Finn hugged them both, and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, to continue sleeping, considering it is Sunday morning and he was rudely awoken by his parents. Carole took their bags upstairs, and changed, before checking the clock. It's seven am, Kurt won't be awake yet, but she knows Burt won't move until his son calls, he doesn't want to give Kurt a reason to think that he's not there to answer the phone, like he promised. The travelling kills him, he hates it, but its part of the job he's doing, so he has to deal with it like everyone else. Part of him does it because he wants to forget about the past, and maybe find himself some answers, the other part wants to find the woman who abandoned their son miles from home without so much as an explanation, confront her, ask her why she did it, even though he knows that will never happen. He'd have no idea where to start looking. He doesn't even know why he wants to start looking. Kurt stopped asking him questions six years ago, when he found him on the bathroom floor. He hasn't asked about her again, but Burt can tell that he wants answers... they both do. He sits by the phone, waiting for his son to call him, hoping that Kurt hasn't forgotten their tradition when Burt goes away... hoping that he's safe with Blaine and Nick.

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When Kurt woke up on Sunday morning, he was sure that Wes would have been the one to wake them up, bursting into their room with some ridiculous activity or something. Kurt was surprised to find that it was just him and Blaine in the room, the lead Warbler was already up and dressed when Kurt sat up, rubbing his eyes, and smiling at his boyfriend. He set himself a reminder to call his father, but he didn't want to wake them, it's only seven fifteen. No doubt his father would be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call; Kurt loves his father for it. Blaine was just watching Kurt, almost in a way that made the taller boy want to hide back under the covers, instead, Kurt asked what he was staring at, climbing out of the warmth of their bed, and walking over to him. Blaine just says that he's taken aback by Kurt's beauty, to which the countertenor chuckles and calls him cheesy, kissing him once, before heading into the shower to ready for the day. Blaine just moves to make the bed and smiles to himself, knowing that he wouldn't change anything he has, for this moment right now. Kurt had decided whilst he was dressing, that he would call his father on the way to breakfast. The best thing about being at Dalton on the weekend was the cafeteria was still open for the students. They had a wide variety of things to meet the needs of their students. Blaine had made the bed and was waiting for Kurt when he exited the bathroom, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, smiling when Blaine wolf whistled, linking their arms as they headed out the door to where they would meet Nick and Wesley. Kurt took their walk to call his father.

'Hey dad, glad to hear you got home okay,' Kurt said, winking at Blaine who just smiled, leading them to the main building where the cafeteria was located

'Kurt, I've been waiting for you to call. I had a great trip, Carole had a blast too. She and Finn say hi. What have you been up to?' Burt asked, and Kurt could hear the inquisitiveness in his voice, but also the humour, as if he and Blaine would have gotten up to anything

'We watched movies, camped out in the common room, spray painted a couple of buildings, you know, the normal... oh and Blaine and I totally had sex' he said jokingly, but Blaine's head snapped to meet his so fast, Kurt had to laugh at his boyfriend's expression, Burt chuckling when he heard Blaine's "don't say that to him Kurt... I don't want to be shot".

'I take it you're joking? You come talk to me before you do anything like that Kurt. I love you son,' Burt said, and Kurt replied with 'I love you too dad', before saying goodbye and kissing Blaine's cheek in apology.

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When they got to the cafeteria, Blaine went off to help Wes, and Nick and Kurt sat down at one of the tables, watching the two boys arguing about what food they could eat. Nick had to laugh when Wes tried to run off and leave Blaine to carry everything, and the lead Warbler pulled him by the collar to stop him. It was quite humorous. When they were finally joined at the table, Kurt and Blaine linked their hands on top of the table, laughing at something Nick had told them about a text from Jeffery. In about two hours, the other students would be returning to Dalton, and they would be returning to their usual routines, classes, Warbler rehearsals, and hanging out in their respective dorms each night. Right now though, Wes has decided that he's going to spend the time preparing the next two weeks of Warbler material, telling Kurt that he needs to find out what's happening at McKinley. Kurt just flips him off, and Nick hi-fives him. This is going to be a long day, but figuring that it will be better than the school being dead, Kurt decides to take Blaine up on his offer of hitting the library to study for their upcoming AP English exam.

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**A/N: First chapter reposted because I made some changes. Nick/Kurt friendship, Kurt/Blaine relationship, with lots of sap and Warbler's thrown in. I love this story, and I hope you guys like it too. Let me know. Next Chapter: Kurt starts having nightmares again, and Nick tries to convince him to tell Blaine what's going on, which leads to Kurt making a choice about the Warblers. Read and Review. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.  
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	2. Alone, but Never Forgotten

**A/N: Hello. I know it has been a long while since I last updated this story. I have been meaning to do it more often, but as usual, life always gets in the way. I am graduating from Uni... FINALLY. It's been a long road, but I'm kind of glad that school is over now. I don't have to worry about having anything distracting me... well except looking for work and all that. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and make sure you Review and Favorite, and Alert so you can be updated. I promise to try and update every week on the same day. Hopefully. Thanks. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

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**Chapter Two: Alone, But Never Forgotten  
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They hadn't been in the library more than five minutes, when Wes joined them, slumping down at their table, books hitting the mahogany item with a loud thump that on any other day would have sent the head councilman packing. But today, the librarian just glared at him, shaking her head, before returning to her book, whilst the three boys went back to their work, ignoring Wes' whispering about finally having other people to talk to, not that talking to them was dull or anything. Kurt had to laugh when Blaine kicked Wes under the table, and the Head Councilman basically shouted 'ouch' to the whole empty library, which was empty and echoed. Kurt wasn't sure whether or not leaving would send a bad message to his boyfriend, but Wes was pissing him off, and he does have this AP English assignment he _needs _to get done by tomorrow, otherwise he's going to be in for a long week of work, that he won't have time to do, what with Warbler rehearsals starting back up, and his work at the Tyre Shop, and helping Rachel... so many things he has to do for other people... nothing for himself really. He works at the tyre shop to help his father, getting paid is a bonus, the Warblers is for Blaine, and Rachel can't get anyone else to help her, because no one else really likes her that much. But this was taking his mind off of focussing on the work he's meant to be doing... The Breakfast Club was their text, and as much as Kurt adored the movie, the assignment was driving him _insane. _How the hell is he meant to understand 'the complex relationships that the characters have formed with one another, during a detention period, where before, none of the characters had in any way interacted with one another!? Discuss, with reference to the culture, and scenes from the movie'. It's a question from another world, and he's stumped. Kurt never gets stumped on things like this, but then again, he's always had a love-hate relationship with English.

Wes was still whispering about something to do with the Warblers, and Kurt had reached the threshold for the amount of nonsense he wanted to hear from Wes. Standing, he apologised to Blaine, picked up his books, and left, not looking back, as Blaine turned to scold the head Warbler, who was looking anywhere but in front of him. Kurt made it back to his and Nick's room when a text rang through the silent halls. Mercedes was going on a date with Sam tonight, and she was texting Kurt to find out which outfit she should wear. To be honest, he doesn't really care, because she looks fabulous in everything, but she's a good friend, and always someone Kurt can rely on at McKinley, or for a gossip session. Rachel, of course, is the head Gossiper of McKinley, nothing gets past her, but Mercedes has a gentler touch when it comes to spreading gossip about people. Not that it's a good thing anyway; no one should be talked about behind their back. Yet, it's a common re-occurrence that happens everywhere, not just in schools, but work places too. Kurt texted the girl back with his opinion of her latest outfit, adding that 'she looks great in everything' before settling onto his bed, opening his books, and blocking out the silence with his iPod. He would explain his behaviour to Blaine when he gets a chance, but he's become so sick of Wes' rambling, he's considering calling David to get him to come back early. He's so glad he's moving away next year, he won't need to have Wes and David on his back about being late to rehearsals, or not getting the right key in a Katy Perry song... Even thinking about them is getting him worked up. A technique his therapist recommends, is closing his eyes, and breathing deeply. But that stopped working when the nightmares/memories started up again. He's not sure why. Maybe it's because it's almost the end of senior year, maybe it's stress... or maybe there's something else going on, that he's not privy to...

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_It was a rush of emotions. She had been running through the house, throwing things into a bag, not even taking into account the ramifications this would have on her marriage or her relationship with Burt... or her son. Kurt, her precious five year old boy, who was helping her to put things in her bag, not knowing the reason why. She had lied to him, told him it was a game they were playing... get as many clothes into the bag as possible before daddy gets home. Kurt didn't ask questions, he just grinned brightly and began helping his mother. She knew it would break Burt's heart if she took her son with her... she couldn't though. It would break her heart to leave Kurt here, but she couldn't take him with her. No matter how many times she asked, there was just nothing she could do. The front door opened, and before she had a chance to react, Kurt had sprinted downstairs, calling that his daddy was home. Elizabeth grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder, and ran downstairs, Burt smiling when she appeared, but the smile quickly faded when he noticed the duffel over her shoulder. Kurt was reaching for her; she could pick him up, and be out of the house before she would change her mind. Burt had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. His wife had been acting strangely for a couple of months, and now... she's got a bag packed. The bald man turned to pick up the phone, and Elizabeth grabbed Kurt, sprinted out of the house to the car, buckled Kurt in, got in the driver's seat and sped down the driveway, not letting herself cry as she watched her husband chase after the car, until he couldn't anymore. Little five year old Kurt was curled into the seat beside her, dressed in nothing but a polo, and jeans that barely covers his ankles, and Burt's fishing hat, that she'd grabbed off the hook. He looked so small, but she had to keep going, she couldn't go back... _

* * *

When Nick returned to the room, Kurt had fallen asleep, finished paper sitting on the desk, books stacked neatly on the floor. The boy couldn't help but wonder if Kurt was under some kind of stress. He hadn't seen his friend like this since... well it was about four years ago, when they were fourteen, and Kurt had been in a really weird faze of his life, talking about death and why people always leave. To be honest, he did know the answer to the question, but he didn't want to give his friend anymore of a reason to harm himself, like he'd been doing back then. Nick texted Blaine to come and wake Kurt, because no doubt, it was better than Wes and David barging into the room, demanding they come to the rehearsal, even though it's Sunday, and technically, they can't log any hours until tomorrow. But it's Wes, if he could work every day, for the next hundred years, he'd be happy... him and that damn gavel. Kurt stirred, just before Blaine arrived, Jeff in tow. Nick excused himself to help Jeff unpack his things, and let Blaine into the room, closing the door behind him. Kurt sat up, rubbing his eyes, and looked around the room. In his slumber, he had dreamt of a story that his father used to tell him, about a woman, who loved him very much, so much that she had to leave in order to watch over him. He thought about it back then and figured it was just his father being silly, but now he knows that he's trying to make his mother seem like someone she's not. He wanted to make her out to be the hero, when really; she's the woman who abandoned them. That's the truth, but the dream... is so real. Almost as though it's truthful... to the point that, loving Kurt, is what caused her to leave... like it's his fault...

'Blaine, what's your mother like?' Kurt asked, having not met Mrs. Anderson

'Um, she's great. Why?' Blaine asked, wondering if Kurt was getting at something

'Did she sing you to sleep, cook your favourite meal when you were sick? Does she call you randomly from wherever she is, just to hear your voice?' Kurt asked, and then remembered that Blaine doesn't know, not taking the question back

'Why don't you come over to my house next weekend? You can meet both my parents, they've wanted to meet you anyway,' Blaine said, and Kurt nodded, smiling, and masking his true emotions... this is a conversation to have with his father.

There is a moment, just before the sounds of the Warblers fill the common room, that Kurt closes his eyes, and counts to ten. He's never known why he does it; Rachel always tells him that he uses it as a coping mechanism that ten is like his safe number or something. He's beginning to think that the brunette is crazier than he is. Wes was talking with David and Thad on the other side of the room, both of them were looking at the Warblers, sporadically spread throughout their common room, their main focus on Blaine and Kurt, who were sitting on the couch together, Kurt counting to ten, and Blaine flipping through his history textbook. They haven't been back at school for more than four hours, and they've already called a Warbler meeting. Wes must have been dying whilst his best-friend was away for the weekend, stuck here with Blaine, Nick and Kurt, three people who aren't allowed to make the decisions when it comes to the Warblers. Input and opinions sure, but never actually allowed to make choices... Kurt doesn't mind that much, he likes control sure, but there is something about the spontaneity of the Warblers that gives him a rush of adrenalin. It's Jeff who calls the room to attention, forcing John, Ian and Riker to stop their conversation about sports, and finally listen to what the council are saying, which is a first. Kurt opens his eyes, to find Blaine staring at him, a little worried, but curious as well. Kurt just smiles at him, and turns to focus on Wes, who is holding his gavel and glaring at everyone. Nick whispers to Kurt that he wishes this would be over already, and the countertenor agrees, and the meeting hasn't even officially... Wes bangs the gavel... okay now it's started. Four hours of this, and Kurt is going to go mad, but risking anything other than attention could get him booted, and he'd rather not make a scene with Wes and David.

* * *

Burt called at seven that night, right on time like he always does. It would have been fine, but Blaine was in the middle of a crisis, and Kurt was helping him so interruptions weren't really the best thing right now. He understood though. Burt lives two hours away, whereas Blaine's family is only a thirty minute drive from the school. He can't begrudge his boyfriend the time to talk to his father, even if that talk lasts an hour, and interrupts the time they have to study for their history final. Kurt moves over to the couch, pulling Blaine with him, and demanding the boy keep studying whilst he's on the phone, to which Blaine agrees, reluctantly, taking the pencil that Kurt is offering him, so he can jot down notes Kurt has made in his margins. He loves when he opens his books, and sees little notes from Kurt, signed with a heart or a smiley face. It's the little things that make him love Kurt even more, so much that sometimes he feels the need to just burst out and say it, but Nick has warned him against it. It was only two months into their relationship when Nick told Jeff that he loved him, and the other boy didn't say it back. Nick was devastated. Eventually, Jeff said it, but it took them a while to get past. Blaine doesn't want Kurt to feel pressured. He knows that the other boy loves him, just because of things like writing in the margins. Even if he doesn't say it back, it's not going to kill him... right? Kurt chuckled, bringing Blaine back to the present, and to the work in front of him, whilst Kurt talked sport... obviously he's talking to Finn. It's surprising to Blaine, how knowledgeable Kurt is about sport, when he doesn't even really like it. It's not the kind of thing you would just... pick up at the press of a button, you have to be really into it, but living with Finn must do that.

Kurt told his father about going over to the Anderson's this weekend to meet Blaine's parents, and Burt was silent on the other end of the phone for a moment. Kurt knew why, he gave his father time to process what he'd just been told and formulate a response. They've got their relationship down to the nines, and when Burt replies, that he's happy Kurt will be meeting the Anderson's the countertenor smiles, and Blaine smiles and then everyone is smiling. Sure, he's nervous too, but smiling nonetheless. When he finally hangs up the phone after talking to his father about everything and anything, Blaine is looking at his with puppy-dog eyes and pleading with him for help with the homework. Reluctantly, and against his better judgement (he should be doing his _own _homework) he moves to help his boyfriend with the question set for their exam at the end of the year. Blaine just watches with amusement and awe as Kurt writes a fifteen line paragraph and hands it back to him, telling him to elaborate on it. Blaine can't understand how Kurt can get so much done with everything that goes on, but he manages to still help everyone out when they need it. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Their first Warbler rehearsal back and Wes has already decided what songs they're doing for nationals. They're up against the New Directions again this year, and from what Kurt has told him about Rachel and their routines, (which Finn had accidentally told him about), they're going to have to pull out all the stops to beat them. Between history and English, Kurt had become almost tired, to the point where he was considering skipping the annual "two months before Nationals common room dinner" with the Warblers. He has to study himself, and already, he's further behind.

'Do you think we should get going to this dinner?' Blaine asked, closing his book with a thud, and putting it onto the couch beside him

'You go, I'll catch up' he replied, accepting the soft kiss Blaine pressed to his lips.

'Don't forget, that we have that new teacher tomorrow, and the Warblers have been tasked with introducing her to the school. She's going to be coordinating with the Drama department,' Blaine replied, as he opened the door, looking back at Kurt who was staring out the window

'I'll be there,' Kurt said, not looking at his boyfriend, and Blaine reluctantly left...

* * *

_When Kurt was fifteen, he got on a train and went to Columbia, to try and locate his mother. He wanted to ask her why she had left him alone at the gas station all those years ago. He didn't tell his father, or anyone that he was going, and Nick was right beside him the whole time anyway, but he had called his mother, worried that Kurt was going to do something stupid again. He is allowed to be worried about his best-friend. he's allowed to call his mother and Kurt's father and ask them to be waiting for them when he convinces Kurt that looking for his mother isn't going to end well. He says he understands what Kurt's going through, but he knows that Kurt only pretends to accept that, he knows that if Kurt wasn't feeling the way that he was right now, he would argue that Nick has no idea what its like, because he has his parents, and they've always been there. When he finally convinces Kurt to get on the train back to Lima, they're barely speaking to one another. The train ride back home is silent. Nick doesn't think that Kurt will ever speak to him again, but then he hears words that Kurt doesn't say often... he says that he's sorry. In the ten years they've been friends, Kurt has only said sorry a small amount of times. Mostly, because he never does anything that warrants him saying sorry, but when he does, Nick knows that he means it. They spend the rest of the ride back to Lima talking and joking about what their parents are going to do to them, and Kurt promises to take the blame, not to drag Nick into it, and make sure Mandy doesn't punish him too much. Nick just chuckles and the break out into talk about what they're doing for school. _

_When they reach Lima, Burt is the first person to embrace his son, whispering to him that he wishes Kurt would stop running, and tell him what's going on. Kurt doesn't say anything, but apologizes to Mandy, for dragging Nick into whatever it was he was doing, and promises that Nick had been reluctant from the beginning, that it wasn't his fault. Mandy just hugs Kurt, and Nick and tells them they're idiots (cause that's what she nicknamed them), and smiles. Nick and Kurt make a promise to meet up for lunch and on the weekend, and then Kurt climbs into the car beside his father, and looks out the window as Burt drives them back through town to their two story white house. Things seem to move slower for Kurt now, than they did back when he was five. Everything around him is moving at a pace that is slower than him. he's itching to get into his sophomore year, he wants to be someone, have a place in the world, and he wants it all to happen now, but he knows that he can only move as fast as the world will allow him. When Burt pulls into their driveway, Kurt doesn't make to get out of the car, he just sits, staring out the window, head resting in his palm, eyes pained. He can feel the cold from the outside, but watching the world... no matter how slow it is... for some reason is calming to him. Burt pats his sons shoulder, and gets out of the car, heading inside, reminding his son that it's cold out, and he need to come in soon. Kurt doesn't feel the cold. Not in the physical sense anyway. He could be outside in nothing, in the snow, and he wouldn't feel it. It's like he's shut himself off from that part of his body, but he can't understand why... Eventually, he climbs out of the car and goes into the house, closing the front door. _

* * *

Kurt is asleep when Nick gets back to their dorm room. Wes had made a fuss about the countertenor not being there, but he hadn't really been paying attention to anything the Head Warbler had been saying, he'd been too busy with his tongue down Jeff's throat... making out. He had been making out with his boyfriend, because he figured that Kurt needed a rest, because he'd been helping them all out, and needed some time to just get up to speed for himself. He's a good friend. Nick moved over to his own bed, and began to change. He hadn't noticed that the window on Kurt's side of the room was open, allowing all the warmth on that side to be sucked out, and replaced with ice cold air. Something about it just wasn't right, but Nick just wanted to sleep, and he wouldn't have had the energy to close it anyway. He couldn't be bothered. Of course, when he was woken in the middle of the night by Kurt's whimpering, he noticed that the window was open, and his best-friend was curled into himself, rocking back and forth on his bed, eyes squeezed closed. Nick jumped out of bed, and ran over to turn the light on, before calling out to Kurt. He knows this routine. Kurt opens his eyes and shoots up on the bed, looking over at Nick, who is just standing beside his bed, a worried and pained expression on his face. Over the years, when they've had sleepovers at each others houses', Kurt had woken up during the night with nightmares, and Nick would be standing beside his bed, so Kurt would know that he was there. This was no different now that they're eighteen and at school. Kurt rubbed a hand over his face, reaching for the glass of water that was on his nightstand, and taking a sip.

'What did she do tonight?' Nick asked, knowing already what the nightmare was about

'I was five again,' was all he said, and Nick frowned

'You haven't had that one in a while. I think you should go back to see Dr. Zucker,' Nick said, worried about his best-friend, his brother.

'No, it's just one, I can manage. We have that thing tomorrow with the new teacher, and I know I'm going to get yelled at for not showing up tonight... I didn't mean to wake you,' Kurt replied, but Nick wouldn't drop it... for now, he'd let it go, but he isn't going to let it go completely... if he has to call Dr. Zucker himself, he will.

* * *

At ten the next morning, the Warblers assembled in the Main Hall, blazers neatly pressed, hair done correctly, everything neat and tidy. Kurt stood beside Nick in the second row, going over their over-rehearsed number for the new Drama teacher, who Wes had found out, was also going to be their new Warbler Teacher Liaison. Blaine was in the front; leading them in yet another practice through the number they had planned to do for nationals. Kurt just followed along; he knew the dance well enough to do it, whilst zoned out in his own mind, just letting the moves flow, without actually hearing anything else that was going on. Nick had noticed that Kurt was still a little off, and he was moving slower than the rest of them, causing him to miss moves, that were easy enough to remember. He grabbed Kurt's arm, and pulled him out of the room, which is where Kurt snapped back to reality, when he noticed that it was just him, a very worried Nick, and a pissed off looking Wes, standing outside the Main Hall. Suddenly, he realised that he hadn't been doing anything, just standing and swaying, not moving, and it was annoying Wes. Kurt never said sorry when he screwed up in the Warblers. Like Nick said, he rarely said it, but he turned to the Head Warbler, pulled the little Warbler badge off of his blazer, and handed it to him, before turning and walking away. Wes stood, gaping after him, whilst Nick sent a quick text to Blaine, before following his best-friend out of the hall. Nick found Kurt in the large courtyard, sitting on the bench near the Library building, book in his hands, pen tucked behind his ear. For all that its worth, Kurt is a good student. He tries hard, and succeeds, however, he also has a lot to deal with at the same time, and Nick is just trying to be the friend that he needs right now.

Kurt doesn't look up to see who is sitting beside him, because he already knows that it's Nick. He always knows when his best-friend is near him, because he feels warm, like he feels when Blaine is around him, and right now he's boiling, which probably means that Blaine is around as well. Nick just starts a conversation about what they're doing for Christmas. He and Blaine seem to have this conversation as if Kurt isn't there, but the countertenor knows what they're doing. He knows their tricks, at getting him to talk, at getting him out of his head. When he finally does look up, he sees the worry in Blaine's eyes, and he sees that Nick is slightly amused by the fact that he looked up when they started talking about what Blaine was planning to dress up as for the Christmas play. Kurt blushes slightly, and looks back down at his paper, pulling his legs up to his chest, book resting open on his knees, but Blaine, sits beside his boyfriend, and softly caresses his cheek, and that makes Kurt close his eyes, in a effort to push back the tears, and he smiles slightly and looks at the two boys now standing in front of him. Nick grins, and Kurt knows that he's about to be pelted with snow balls, so he stands, raises an eyebrow at Nick, (which drives Blaine crazy by the way), and smirks. They're been best-friends since they were five, there isn't anything Kurt doesn't know about Nick... so when he ducks as the first snowball is thrown, he takes the time to gather some snow in his hand, and throw it back at Nick, hitting him square in the chest.

'You know that I can always tell when you're going to do something stupid Nicholas,' Kurt says, hiding behind Blaine, who just chuckles

'I'm not doing anything that is stupid Kurt. I just wanted you to get out of your head. Now that you're back with us, you can stop using Blaine as a human shield and come back to Warbler rehearsal,' he said, but what Kurt said next surprised him... it even surprised Blaine a little, and he knew about it

'I'm not going back to rehearsal. I'm quitting the Warblers. I'm done with Wes and his six hour routines and workouts. I have school to worry about. There isn't much time left before it's over, and if I want to get into Harvard, I need to study,' Kurt said, moving to pick up his books

'Kurt, you know that we are all here if you want to talk. Please, don't shut us out. Please, don't shut me or Blaine out,' Nick said softly, but Kurt heard him, pulling him into a hug, before kissing Blaine, smiling and heading into the library

* * *

_In the silence, he can hear the crackle of the fireplace. He can feel the warmth on his skin, but he chooses to ignore it. Something about it just doesn't feel right. His dad always tells him that he should wear some more clothes when they go out in the cold, but he doesn't. Oh his dad tries, dressing him over the top so that he'll be warm, but Kurt just ends up taking layers off anyway. They're in the park with Nick and his mother when Burt gets a call from a detective, who he's been working with to track down his wife. He just wants answers, something to tell Kurt when he's older and starts asking questions about why his mother isn't around, why she left him at a gas station, why someone would do something like that to a child... okay so the last one is probably more for Burt, but he needs to understand, he has to find her. The detective tells him that they don't have any leads, but they've located the car, just outside of Boston. It had been dumped by the looks of it, and everything she took with her on that night, is gone. Burt closes his eyes, she probably moved to another car to evade police... he thanks the detective, and goes back to watch Kurt and Nick run around on the small playground, playing tag. He has to laugh when Nick hides and tries to scare his son, who just laughs, and then goes back to running as if nothing had happened. But something did happen... his five year old son was abandoned by his mother... Burt was abandoned by his wife, and he wants answers... he's going to find them... no matter how long it takes._

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: Kurt and Blaine move closer to a sexual relationship, and Kurt finally decides to tell Blaine about his past. Burt gets an unexpected surprise, and a new teacher at Dalton shakes things up. The Warblers head to Nationals against New Directions... without Kurt, which surprises Rachel, who thought she would have some witty remarks. Finn worries about his brother, and develops a love/hate relationship with another of the Warblers. Graduation and College plans get made and we might see some more of the New Directions that we'd please... :P Read and Review. See you next week. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.  
**


	3. Dazed and Confused

**A/N: Chapter Three. I call this "the turning point" because in Chapter Four, some things are revealed that lead to a lot of big changes. Of course, it also sets up the rest of the story, but I like to be dramatic. Getting this story off the ground has been difficult, because I've had the worst case of writers block imaginable, and that is why this story is two days late. Regardless, it's here, and I hope you guys like it. Please, review. Nothing hateful, but if you have CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, i'll he happy to take it on board. Oh, and by constructive I don't mean you can bag me out. Thank you. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Dazed and Confused**

Kurt and Nick sat in the courtyard, laughing about something that Jeff had done the other night after their Warbler rehearsal had ended. Since the beginning, there had always been something different about their friendship. He and Nick were brothers, in the same way that Kurt and Finn were brothers. They were close, more than family, but still able to tell each other the truth, no matter how harsh it is. Kurt likes that he can have that kind of relationship with Nick. When Blaine and Jeff join them after their class, the four of them settle down to work, enjoying the sunshine, on this nice warm Ohio day, which will forever be imprinted in their minds. Kurt is leaning against Blaine, shoulder's touching, and he wonders what it would be like to be _like that _with his boyfriend. He and Nick have talked about Nick and Jeff's relationship… not in detail, but Nick has always been open to talking about things if Kurt wants to. He's not afraid to help out in that department, but Kurt is too afraid to bring it up, and even though he knows Nick means well, he can't help the blush that spreads over his face every time the subject is jokingly brought up, or even deliberately brought up. Wes has noticed this, and constantly likes to tease Kurt, by making innuendo's about his relationship with Blaine. Somehow, they just roll off the Lead Warbler, but Kurt seems to be unable to fathom the idea that Wes is messing with him. He doesn't seem to be able to take the joke, which annoys him, because he so wants to be able to say something back that is witty and smart, and would leave them all speechless. But he has faults, and one of them is sex, and he won't be the first to come out and say it, but he knows that when he and Blaine _do _reach that point in their relationship, that he wants to be ready. One hundred percent ready.

Nick silently texts Kurt as they split to go to their afternoon classes. This is the only class that Kurt has without Blaine, Nick or Jeff. He has other Warblers in the class that he's friends with, but they don't get along as well as he does with the others. Mostly because Kurt doesn't really talk much during class, unlike them. Yet, Elijah and Emmanuel seem to have a tendency to make Kurt want to break the rules and talk out loud like they do. Regardless of what would happen, if he were to get sent to the principal, it wouldn't be anything different than when he was sent to Figgins' office when he was back at McKinley. He and Nick have a strange language that they made up when they were ten, which only they can understand. They shorten sentences, and make up different meanings for words, so they can talk in code around other people. Blaine has caught on to some things, but he still stares at them like they have two heads when he hears them doing it in public. It's what happens when you're friends with someone, for as long as Kurt and Nick have been friends. He chuckles to himself, puts his phone on silent, and turns to face the front of the room. He's in Psychology at the moment. It's a useless subject, according to David, but Kurt seems to enjoy it. If he doesn't want to end up at NYADA, he knows that there are plenty of good Law School's in New York, or even Fashion Courses he could take. He really hasn't decided yet. He's still deciding whether or not he should take the year off and try to find his mother. Okay, so maybe he's taking Psychology for all the wrong reasons. Maybe he wants to be able to get into his mother's head, and deduce what she left them all those years ago. Maybe a part of him, wants to understand the logic behind his father's behavior after she vanished off the face of the earth. According to Burt Hummel, his wife is legally dead. Kurt wants to believe she's out there, but a small part of him thinks that maybe she is really dead. Maybe she just doesn't want to be found.

* * *

That night, when Blaine announced that he and Wes had decided to run a late errand and go to his parents' house, Nick opted to stay back with Kurt and study, mostly because they had an English paper due at the end of the week, and he knows that without Kurt's help he'll never get it done. So Blaine, pouting, quickly kisses Kurt, before following Wes out of the common room and over to the parking lot. They haven't had a moment to just be without the Warbler's since school started back up, and Nick knows that Kurt misses the nights they would just hang out and watch movies, or play basketball, or video games. He can't imagine them ever doing anything else than this, and part of him wants to lock this version of his brother up and never let him out, but he knows Kurt better than that. He knows that Kurt has his reasons for not going with Wes and Blaine. They decide to go back to the library to work on their respective papers for English, laughing along the way about the ridiculous notion of Wes ever picking a song for the Warblers to sing, that would involve them wearing anything else, than the blazers they have to endure every day. Nick sometimes admires Kurt, for his individuality, and when they go out on weekends, after Jeff, Kurt is the next person he would trust to give him fashion advice.

'Do you want to go to the fair this weekend Kurt? I know Jeff and Blaine mentioned something about it earlier, but I know that it depends on a lot of things. They're going to have stalls, and rides, and I think there's a photo booth…'

'I have to ask you something. How long, were you and Jeff together before you guys…. Had sex?' Kurt asked, blushing at the word, and even more so when Nick smirked

'We were together about four months before we decided, mutually, that we were ready. There isn't a time limit on these things Kurt. If you're not ready, Blaine will understand… and if he doesn't, I'll kick his arse, and I'm sure Finn will join me,' Nick replied, flipping his text book open to the correct page

'This is confusing. All these feelings… what happened to the old days when we were eleven, and thought that rocks and bugs and basketball were the best things in the world?' Kurt asked, chuckling slightly with Nick, who grinned, remembering all the times they had gone down to the creek at his grandparent's house to find mammals.

'We all grow up eventually Kurt… things become difficult. You just have to decide if you're doing it for the right reasons,' Nick replied, before turning his full attention back to his work

Kurt debated internally with himself for the next couple of hours, whilst trying to work on his assignment. In the end, he gave up on working, and came up with a pro/con list of reasons why he was ready, and wasn't ready, to take the next step with Blaine. The biggest thing on that list, was the fact that Blaine didn't know about his mother, or his life growing up, or that he and Nick had been friends for longer than the time he's been at Dalton. Of course, it would be easy to just tell him everything, he's the best person in the world to talk to, but Kurt always gets emotional when he talks about his past, and he wants to understand it, but without understanding it, he can't tell Blaine. Don't get him wrong, he wants to tell the Warbler everything _then why don't you Kurt? If you can't understand it on your own, maybe Blaine can help you to… _he thought to himself as he stopped for a moment, looking out at the rain falling outside the window. In the middle of his thought train, he didn't notice that Nick had gotten up and left, leaving a note on top of his book. Usually, he would hit him lightly over the head, and remind him to be back in the dorm room by eleven, but he must have known that Kurt was thinking hard, because he either didn't hit him, or Kurt was so preoccupied, that he didn't feel it. Either way, he must have been sitting there for a long time. Regardless, he knew that the only way to get his feelings to become clearer, was to talk to Blaine, and he couldn't do that tonight. He would have to wait until the Lead Warbler returned with Wesley, and even then, he doesn't know how he's even going to broach the subject. After all, Blaine only knows that his father is married to Carole, and that Finn is his step-brother, but he doesn't know that Carole isn't his biological mother, nor the reason that his bio mother doesn't contact him. _You're going to have to tell him Kurt… it's the only way…_ his conscience told him, and he groaned, resting his head on his arms on top of the table…

* * *

_When they were thirteen, Kurt decided he wanted to try something new, something they hadn't done before. Nick had been worried about his best-friend for a while, and starting highschool was going to be difficult for them both, because Kurt was going to McKinley and Nick was going to Dalton Academy, an hour away from each other. Which is why this suddenly rebellious streak that Kurt was in, was surprising. In the seven years he's known Kurt, he's never seen him like this. The other day, he found him bleeding on the floor of the bathroom in his parents' house. Kurt promised that it wasn't anything to be worried about, that he'd just cut himself accidently being an idiot with scissors, but Nick knew that it was something else. He knew that his friend was having a hard time with everything, especially coming up to his mother's birthday. Burt had been avoiding the topic all together, and whenever it would be brought up, the mechanic would sigh, and change the subject. This kind of annoyed Nick, who was hoping that he could get them to talk about it. His mother always says that talking about pain can help to ease it, but Kurt and Burt don't talk a lot these days anyway. Kurt comes home, says hi to his father, and then locks himself away in his room, doing endless searching for a woman who clearly doesn't want to be found. But of course, Nick doesn't say that, even when they're riding their bikes towards the lower end of Lima, where the jumps are that they've never tried before, and where he knows that some of the other kids hang out. Kids like Noah Puckerman, who has a reputation for being a bully, and a downright delinquent. Nick is surprised that he even knows what that word means. Regardless, he follows Kurt without a word, and when they reach the bike park, Kurt grins manically, and calls out that he's going to meet Nick there. The taller of the two just watches from the top of the hill, as Kurt speeds away from him, heading for a death trap that could end up with him breaking something. He's definitely telling someone about this._

_After they finish their first day of school, Nick and Kurt meet at the Lima Bean like they always do, and talk about their days. Kurt talks about how terrible life is at McKinley, and Nick talks about how he met this guy, Jeffery Ryan, who he thinks might be one of the cutest guys he's even seen. He misses the inflection in Kurt's eyes, as he looks away from Nick. They had never been shy to one another about their sexual orientation, but obviously, unlike Dalton, McKinley isn't as accepting as it should be, and Kurt has been forced to hide himself away. They've only been at school one day, and already, Nick can tell that his best-friend is falling deeper into this black hole that has been dug since the age of six. Kurt can honestly say that he loves Nick, but only like a brother. He's not jealous of the fact that Nick has a crush on someone, he's just jealous of the fact that Nick _can _have a crush on someone, without it being a big deal. He knows that if his father had the money, he would be at school with Nick, but because he lives in a one parent income household, he has to suffer through William McKinley Highschool, alone for four years… after that he plans to find his mother. Of course, when he tells Nick this, the other boy splutters, almost dropping the coffee in his hand, and looks at Kurt like he's just told him that he's sick or something. It hasn't ever been brought up, except for that time that Kurt ran away, that he would have any notion of finding his mother. Nick always thought he'd accepted it. Clearly, he's been wrong._

'_Why Kurt? Your mother left you, why do you want to find her?' Nick asked_

'_I want to know why. Isn't that reason enough?' he asked, voice squeaking from his higher register, to his lower… ah puberty…_

'_No Kurt, it's not reason enough. I don't want you to think about this anymore. She's gone, and it's time to start accepting that. I have to go, I have a rehearsal for the Warblers this afternoon. I'll call you tomorrow,' Nick replied, standing and hugging Kurt, before leaving the café and Kurt alone_

'_Who are the Warblers?' Kurt asked to no one in particular, pulling out his phone to tell his father that he's going to be late home… _

* * *

Blaine was the one who found him, asleep in the library the next morning, text book still open to his pro/con list, which luckily, he woke up before Blaine could actually see. Kurt looked around at his surroundings, and then up at his boyfriend, who looked worried, as he stood, gathered his things together, and rubbed the remnants of sleep from his eyes, as he silently followed Blaine out of the library and back towards the dorms. He would never hear the end of how he fell asleep in the library from Wes and David. Nick would probably also give him some crap for it, but it was all in good fun. He knew from experience, that the Warblers were only serious, if it involved something that had happened, or a tragic family event. Even so, when he got back to his and Nick's room, and Blaine followed him inside, closing the door, he frowned, confused. Usually, Blaine wouldn't close the door if they were alone, because the Warbler's would make up ridiculous stories about what was going on behind that door, and they're better off not having to explain anything to the people who wouldn't believe them anyway. But something about this moment was different, because when Blaine spoke, it was with caution and worry in his eyes. Nick had obviously told Blaine that he too is worried about the countertenor, but Kurt didn't have the energy to come up with another lie, so he told Blaine the truth: that he was struggling with this English assignment, and seeing as Blaine was the top in their English class, could he help him out? Of course, the tenor said yes, opening the door, and moving to lie on his stomach on Kurt's bed, whilst the other boy went to change in the bathroom. Like he said, he's not sure what's going through his mind at the moment, but if anyone can help him get to the bottom of it, it's going to be Blaine.

Two hours later, and a short nap in between, Kurt finally finishes his English assignment, and moves to grab some of the snacks he and Nick have hidden in their room. If their friend's found out, they would have to share, and Nick _loves _his Cheetos. He loves them so much, that he has them under lock and key. He probably loves them more than Jeff. Blaine smiels when Kurt hands him a small Kit-Kat, and settles back on the bed, listening to the sounds of the rain on the roof. Their next period if Literature, and Kurt knows that it's one of his worse subjects. The only good thing about the class, is that apparently it's going to be interrupted by the introduction of their new teacher, and Drama liaison. Nick, Elijah and Blaine had all been trying to convince him to come back to the Warblers, but he's adamant that he's done with the group, that he wants to focus solely on his studies…and that's the truth… he does want to focus on his studies… but that doesn't mean he can't mess with Wes in the process. Besides, as the weekend gets closer, he realises that he's meeting the Anderson's, and he needs time to physically and mentally prepare himself for meeting Blaine's parents. When the bell sounds for their third class of the day, Kurt stands slowly, straightening his tie, and grabbing his books, following Blaine out of the room, and closing the door. He spots Nick and Jeff (who are also in his Literature Class… _thank god) _and walks with the three of them, before they drop Blaine off at his Intro to Physics class that their science teacher recommended the boy take for extra credit, even though he _hates _Physics. Regardless, when they enter their classroom, and take their seats, Kurt tunes in and realises that Jeff is still trying to get him to reconsider his leaving the Warblers. _No regrets Kurt…. _

* * *

_It's Nick who finds him that afternoon, sitting in the park they used to frequent when they were younger. He has another boy with him, not Jeff (which is surprising because they've been attached at the hip since they started dating a year ago), who Nick introduces as Blaine, lead singer for the Warblers. Kurt doesn't bother to greet the other boy, he just shakes his head, and turns to walk off, only stopping when Nick grabs his arm, whispers something to him, and forces him to turn back to Blaine, who just grins happily, extending his hand for Kurt to shake. Mercedes would take one look at him, and say that he already has a crush on this boy, but he knows that it's not true, because for so many years, he's had people telling him what he can and can't do, who he can and can't love, and why it's wrong for him to be what he is, and somewhere along the way he started to believe it, locking away all the feelings that came back to the surface when he shook hands with Blaine. Rachel, of course, screams bloody murder and reprimands him for conversing with the competition, to which he ignores, leaving the choir room, to the annoyance of most of the Glee Club, but he doesn't care. He comes to this park, and he texts Nick, and it's just one of the things he can do to keep in control of himself, but he never expected his best-friend to show up with Blaine. When Nick explains to the lead Warbler that he and Kurt have been friends since they were five, Blaine looks at him like he finally understands, and Nick manages to squeak out that he always talks about the fun things they do on the weekends. Kurt smiles, nods and follows them over to the small picnic table near the swings, whilst listening to Nick and Blaine talk set-lists. Out of the corner of his eye, he's having a silent conversation with his best-friend._

_Blaine shows up at McKinley a week later, with Nick in tow, to tempt Kurt with an offer he can't refuse. Finn and the other New Directions members are shocked to find out just what Kurt has been dealing with, and he silently wishes the world would swallow him up, and spit him out on the other side of high school. He still has senior year to contend with, and he can't afford Dalton, even though his father said that he and Carole will pool their honeymoon money into it, he still doesn't want to leave McKinley, he's finally gotten used to the fact that he's a human punching bag most of the time. But Nick makes him an offer that really, he'd be an idiot to turn down. Regardless, he goes home that night, tells his father that he doesn't want to move to Dalton, and goes up to his room, closing the door, locking himself away from the world, and sitting at his desk. His computer is filled with information about his mother. Where she could be, why she might have left, how he can find her… if anyone saw it, not only would he be seeing Dr. Zucker more than once a week, he'd been labelled as clinically insane for thinking that a woman, who has been missing for eleven years, if suddenly going to show up, and he's tried to think of Carole as his mother, tried to put the woman in that position, but he has things he wants to know… that he needs to know, and why should be have to sit by, and watch, whilst all the other kids in his year have two parents, and he only has one… biological anyway. He wants to know why she ran away, why she left him alone and why he can't have what all the others have… a normal family. If he'd opened his eyes long enough to see, he find that he does. A father, mother and brother. But regardless of the fact, he's Kurt… and he always obsesses. He closes the folder just in time, when his father knocks on his bedroom door._

'_Nick told me what you said to him. Why won't you go to Dalton Kurt? It's safer, Nick is there, and you guys spend so much time together as it is, it would cost you less in gas…'_

'_I don't want to go to a school where I have to hide who I am from the rest of the world,' Kurt replied, all the whilst he was screaming LIE in his head_

'_Kurt, you can't show all of yourself now. If you go there, at least you can be part of yourself,' Burt replied, at a last ditch effort to get his son to the school_

'_Sure, I bet Dr. Zucker would agree with you,' Kurt replied, looking up at his father, who was just watching him, curious and sad 'fine, I'll talk to Nick,' he added, looking away, missing Burt's smile…. His son would be safe, and away from everything… he could find his ex-wife without having to worry about Kurt finding out… after all, his son has been through enough_

* * *

Miss Lisa Price was the name of the new teacher at Dalton Academy, and regardless of what they say, most of the Warblers (minus the gay ones), were already talking about how _fine _she is. Kurt rolled his eyes when he passed Wes and David in the hall, talking to Ian and Riker about the new teacher, who would be joining them at National's this year. For a moment, it made Kurt want to reconsider his decision, just to make fun of them, but it's not like he doesn't see them all the time anyway. He's still a Warbler, he's just not an _active _one. Blaine took his hand as they walked to the cafeteria for lunch together, all the talk of the new teacher, was making him want to wash his brain out with soap, and he was finding it difficult to focus on what Blaine was telling him about their weekend with his parents. His phone chimed with a text from Nick, which made him laugh out loud, and Blaine frown.

**TO: Kurt Hummel**

**;) Bet Wes is the first! ;) **

**FROM: Nick Duval**

Blaine reads the text over his boyfriend's shoulder once they're seated. Of course, it's coded, but it could mean that Nick thinks that Wes will be the first one to hit on the new teacher, or something like that, but Kurt seems to understand completely what it means, and he's not smirking, so it can't be something dirty. His name is mentioned in Kurt's reply, and apart from that and a few other things, he doesn't know what they're talking about. It's driving him insane…

**TO: Nick Duval**

**Blaine should, but he knows. I thought you would, I know Jeff did. :p**

**FROM: Kurt Hummel**

Kurt tucks his phone back into his pocket, and turns to find Blaine frowning at his food, looking like the potato offended him somehow. He takes the Lead Warblers hand, and presses a soft kiss to his cheek, smiling and turning back to where Wes and David are arguing over whether or not it would be ethical to ask Miss Price if she's willing to take one on one classes with the boys. He still can't see the attraction with girls. What's the big deal about them? He and Nick used to ask people this all the time, their whole Freshmen year was spent debating why girls were so important to straight guys. They didn't get that fussed over boys, even though they probably should have been, according to some people. In the middle of his mental tirade, Blaine, Riker, Nick and Emmanuel had gone over to see what the commotion was in the middle of the cafeteria, and Kurt was so encapsulated with himself, that he didn't even see the flying food, until he was hit in the back of the head with a piece of broccoli. Blaine looked over at him, apologetic, and told Wes off, but the Head Warbler just smirked, before turning to help David up off the floor. A food fight isn't what they need right now, but the minute Elijah stood up, Kurt knew that's what would be happening, so he escaped the food throwing path before he was caught in the center, and managed to get Blaine, Nick, and Jeff out with him. They stood, watching whilst the pristine Cafeteria was turned into a food fight playground, before they turned and left, heading to the Dean's office. No doubt the Warblers would be getting in trouble, and he's kind of glad that he's not a part of the group now.

* * *

Kurt woke up, chest heaving, sweat running down his face. Nick was still fast asleep in his bed across the room, and the light was shining from the moon outside. The window was closed, but Kurt managed to calm himself enough to stand and open it. Nick is usually awake when Kurt has a nightmare, but he mustn't've been whimpering or saying things out loud, in fact, he can't really remember it vividly like his other dreams, but something about it seemed so real. It was only then, that he realised that Blaine was asleep beside him, and he looked over to find, thankfully, that his boyfriend was still fast asleep, curled around Kurt's pillow that he'd obviously grabbed when he felt the emptiness beside him. Blaine had snuck in after Nick went to sleep, and they'd talked about stuff for a while, Blaine trying to convince Kurt to re-join the Warblers, and what was happening on the weekend, before they'd fallen asleep beside one another. It isn't the first time they've slept in the same bed, usually it's with a pillow between them, but tonight, Kurt let Blaine curl up to him. He took a step forward… but this nightmare… unlike his other ones… makes him want to take two steps back. But he realises that one thing is absolutely clear… that he has to tell Blaine what's happening, or he's going to end up where he was when he was twelve… only this time, he won't live to tell the tale. _It's going to take a lot more than just yourself to find me… you're going to need a team… _it was the voice that he'd heard in his head, and it sounded so familiar, but of course, Kurt wouldn't know the significance, until he opened himself up some more.

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: Kurt and Blaine spend the weekend at the Anderson's, and Kurt finally tells Blaine about his past, which leads to some special moments between the two boys. The Warblers prepare to face the New Directions in a pre-national's practice run, in which Rachel and Finn share some surprising news about their futures. Nick and Jeff convince Kurt and Blaine to be the Warbler's "stand in couple" for their annual Worthington House Warbler Parade, and the rest of the Warblers (with some help from ND) band together to convince Kurt to re-join the Warblers. Flashbacks include Kurt's first day at Dalton, Burt discovering something about his ex-wife, and Finn learning the truth about why Kurt's without a mother. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.  
**


	4. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

**A/N: Hello. The response to this story has been _amazing. _Thanks to all of you who are following, favouriting, and reviewing this story. It means a lot to me. I hope you all enjoyed your Easter break. I didn't get much chocolate, but I got to see my family, so that was enough for me. This chapter took me a while to write, and it's longer than the others at the moment, but it's coming along nicely. We get some Klaine loving in this chapter. But that's not the only chapter. ;) Please, take the time to send me a review, or if you can't, just follow or fave. Thanks, and enjoy. See you next week. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Four: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back**

Kurt is spending the weekend at the Anderson's house. Their seven month anniversary is coming up in two days, on October 15th. It's the perfect time apparently, to share more "intimate" moments, according to Wes, who had been making all kinds of inappropriate statements, since he found out that Kurt was spending the weekend at Blaine's parents' house. The Anderson house was larger than most. It's three stories, and white on the outside, but beautifully decorated inside. Kurt takes a moment to admire the dressing of the house, before Blaine is pulling him through the living area, and over to the stairs, before taking their bags and heading up to his room. Kurt just smiles and blushes, but follows Blaine inside, smirking when he notes that he room is basically the same as it has been since Blaine was five. The Lead Warbler turns around, blushing when he notices Kurt looking around, and seeing all the toys that he kept over the years, and Kurt smiles a big smile, because it's rare that Blaine blushes, but it seems to always be around him. The two boys' silent thoughts are interrupted by Blaine's mother, Elaine, calling their names excitedly. Kurt takes a deep breath, letting Blaine take his hand, pull him in to kiss him softly, before heading out of the room, and towards the sound of his mother's voice. A mother who was there to raise him his whole life, one who didn't abandon him at a gas station miles from home. Kurt closed his eyes, readying himself to meet Elaine, before following Blaine out of the room, and down the stairs, back into the living area. It's strange, how much Blaine looks like his mother. Soft features, her curly dark hair, his bouncy nature. He also has some of his father's traits, eyes, posture, and the way he holds himself. It's very clear to see.

Elaine is so excited to meet Kurt that she's bouncing on the balls of her feet when Blaine brings Kurt into the room. She hugs the taller boy tightly, thanking him for loving her son, and being the person that he is. Kurt relaxes into the hug, but pulls back before he breaks down. He can't believe that he has been missing out on that all these years. He wonders, briefly, if hugging Carole would be the same, but as he's never done that, he wouldn't know. Blaine's father, Richard, shakes his hand, before hugging him tightly as well. Kurt just smiles awkwardly, and moves to sit beside his boyfriend on the sofa, whilst Blaine regales his parents with tales of the Warblers, and Dalton and Kurt and the New Directions, and he should probably say something, or stop Blaine from saying some things… but he's so entranced in watching Blaine interact with his parents, the pure joy on his face, the way it lights up his features, that he literally can't say anything. He doesn't want to stop the moment that's unfolding in front of him. Part of him is holding back the uncontrollable jealousy and irrational anger that Blaine gets to have both of his parents, and Kurt doesn't. He knows it's stupid to be jealous, it's irrational and wrong and he shouldn't be mad at Blaine. It's not his fault. Kurt is the one to blame for his mother's disappearance, and regardless of what people tell him, he knows that's the truth. Finally, Kurt is brought out of his funk, by Blaine taking his hand, all three Anderson's looking at him worriedly. He smiles, and apologises, changing the subject to bringing up some of the things that _Blaine _does at Dalton, leaving his boyfriend hiding his face in his shoulder, blushing. _Kurt, you know you can find me, you just need a team… _he thinks, over the dream he had last night. He could swear his mother is giving him clues, but he knows that's stupid.

* * *

When it gets a little later into the afternoon, Blaine shows Kurt around the house. It's impressive. A large living area, dining room, kitchen (one that Kurt swears he's going to lock himself away in, this just makes Blaine laugh and wink at him), Blaine's room (and they may have spent a little bit more time in there, getting to know Blaine's bed, whilst they made out), the upstairs living area, which consisted of a _very _large gaming/movie room, with a projector. Kurt now understands what Wes and David were talking about when they mention how great Warbler Game Nights are when Blaine hosts them. Kurt has never been to one, obviously, mostly because whenever Blaine plans them, he makes up an excuse about spending time with his father, which he likes doing, but should probably stop lying to Blaine about. Truth, he could beat them all at COD, like the time he bet Finn and Puck… the looks on their faces… but he doesn't tell them that, because he's projected this image of himself out there, and there's all these sides of him that he doesn't want to show people. It makes him vulnerable. Blaine suggests they watch a movie, which leads to him going over to the built in shelving unit, and revealing hundreds of DVD's neatly alphabetised in the shelves. Kurt just gapes at the sheer amount of movies, and then moves over to stand beside Blaine, not bothering to look at what movie he's pulling out, keeping his eyes on his boyfriend, who is blushing, but frowns when Kurt hands him the movie he picked from the shelf, smirk on his lips.

'Kurt, you realise what you picked right?' Blaine asked, taking the DVD and holding it up, revealing to Kurt that it was _Finding Nemo, _not that Blaine minded

'I don't care about the movie Blaine,' Kurt replied, taking the DVD anyway, and moving over to the player to put it on

'If you don't care about it, why are we watching it?' Blaine asked, sitting beside Kurt on the large beanbag in front of the TV

'Because, it will be background noise, and a distraction from what I have to talk to you about,' Kurt replied, and Blaine just looked at him, both worried and surprised.

* * *

_Carole and Burt had only been together for about a year. On Kurt's seventeenth birthday, Finn decided to ask about why Burt was single, and where Kurt's mother was, which plummeted the room into silence, causing Carole to whack her son over the back of his head, before Burt raised a hand and silenced them, explaining that they both had the right to know about it. Finn looked at his soon-to-be-step-brother, who wasn't looking at any of them, but staring half-heartedly at something out the window. Finn couldn't find whatever Kurt was staring at, so he turned his attention to his mother, and step-father, who looked as though he was gearing up to tell Finn that his ex-wife had been killed or something. Kurt seemed to fade out of the conversation, but he knew that Burt kept looking over at him, because he could feel three sets of eyes boring into his being. He didn't have the strength to move, and even if he did, where would he go? It's nine at night, and Nick lives in Westerville. By the time he got there, it would be almost ten, and he knows he'd never get past the Dalton night guard, and into the building. He could go to Mandy's, but without Nick there, he always feels a little strange, and his little sister seems to just cling to Kurt when he's there. Finn lets the information sink into his skull, and he knows that his first instinct is to call his girlfriend, and confide in her everything, but he also knows that he could never betray the Hummel's like that, so instead, he keeps silent. He just asks questions that he's surprised Burt doesn't have the answers to, then he looks over at Kurt. Everything making sense all of a sudden, and he wonders what else the countertenor has been hiding from him. From them. Burt talks about Kurt running away, the cutting, the rebellious stage… he talks about how Nick's mother is the one who brought him home, and that's why Kurt and Nick are so close… like brothers. Finn sometimes wishes Kurt would let him in like that… but he understands why he's so resistant now. _

_A couple of hours later, when Kurt is lying in his dark bedroom, staring at the ceiling, pretending to sleep like he has been for the last month or so, he thinks about everything that happened downstairs, and he wishes that a black hole would appear and suck him into it. He never wanted Finn to know about his mother, because he'll end up telling Rachel, who will tell the Glee Club, and before he knows it, he'll be the kid whose mother abandoned him when he was five. He won't be Kurt Hummel, the sassy gay kid, he'll just be the laughing stock of the club, because regardless of whether or not the others have two parents, none of their parents abandoned them. There is a bang from outside, and then Finn is knocking on his door. He calls for the boy to come in, flipping the light on, and sitting cross legged under his bed covers. He's wearing his sleep shirt and pants, not that he doesn't any other night, but Finn seems to think that he doesn't… which is strange, but beside the point. His step-brother takes a seat at the foot of the bed, and just watches him for a couple of minutes, before Kurt annoyingly asks what he wants. It's unexpected when Finn moves to pull him into a bear hug, whispering sorry in his ear, and mumbling about how it can't be fair that Kurt had to grow up knowing that his mother had abandoned him, when Finn had Carole the whole time, and promises to Kurt, that his mother will accept Kurt, and that he loves him like a brother. Kurt doesn't know whether to push Finn off of him, or cry, either way, they stay like that for a while, before Finn pulls back, and moves to stand, smiling at his brother, before leaving the room again. Kurt just stares at the closed door for a moment, before snuggling back down in his bed, window open, light on… _

* * *

Blaine presses play on the DVD menu, whilst Kurt just watches him, and it's a little creepy, but whatever Kurt wants to talk to him about must be serious, because his boyfriend does this thing, where he straightens his back, squares his shoulders, and looks past the person he's talking to. Blaine hates when Kurt does it, because he's putting up a shield, and even though he knows it's a coping mechanism, he wants Kurt to be able to be open about anything. The taller of the two is trying not to hyperventilate, and seriously considers calling his own bluff, and just watching the movie, but Blaine is looking at him, with his I'm-worried-but-curious look in his eyes, and he knows that if he doesn't do it now, he'll never to it. There is a moment of complete silence in the room, and then the voices from the movie, happily swimming about, talking about swimming and fins and family, and Kurt snaps back to reality, takes Blaine's hand, and looks at him, not through him, at him, squaring his shoulders and taking a breath

'When I was five, my mother abandoned me at a gas station miles from my home in Lima. I was there for about six hours, before Nick's mother found me, and brought me back to my father. That's why Nick and I are so close, because we've been friends since we were five. I've been through a lot more in my life, before the age of eighteen than most. When I was twelve, I… I tried to… I was in a bad place, and I didn't want to be here, and I… I have the scars to show for it. Amongst other scars that I've got from the bullying at McKinley. When I was fifteen, I got on a train to Columbia to try and locate my mother, but Nick convinced me to go home, that it wasn't worth finding her. I try so hard to lock all of this away, the hurt, but I know that the reason my mother left is because of me. Don't tell me that it's not because I know that it is. She wouldn't have taken me otherwise,'

'Kurt…'

'You… make me a better person Blaine. You have shown me what it's like to have a form of family, but I can't help being scared that one day you might leave me, and I have to be prepared for that, I have to because I won't survive otherwise, but watching you with your parents… it's amazing. But I had to tell you. I've wanted you to know from the moment I met you, but I didn't want to be the boy without a mother. When we finish highschool, I'm using the summer before college to track her down, and I'm going to find her, ask her why she left. Nick has tried to talk me out of it, but he won't change my mind Blaine…'

'Kurt, stop talking…' Blaine replied, latching onto his boyfriend, kissing him passionately.

* * *

Kurt let Blaine caress his skin with his mouth, clothes removed with care, strewn all over the room. Blaine took control, wanting to show Kurt that he's not going anywhere, or doing anything that would mean leaving. He's proving that he loves Kurt, that he'll love him forever, no matter what. Kurt let Blaine take control, because he needs that. He needs Blaine to have that control because he's not strong enough yet, but Blaine and his friends will help him get there. For a moment, when Blaine peppers soft kisses down his naked torso, he stops thinking, closing his eyes, and arching his back into the feeling. They somehow managed to get to Blaine's bedroom, and onto his bed, where the Lead Warbler is straddling Kurt, and the fact that they're both hard, has them blushing, passion and delight and intensity flowing through them. It's a new feeling, one they're going to enjoy experiencing more and more after this time. It's a new feeling, this intimacy with Blaine, but he knows it's the next step. It doesn't take long for Blaine to have them both naked, and begin worshiping his boyfriend's toned body, kissing each of the scars, before moving back up to press their mouths together, before reaching to grab the lube he brought a couple of weeks ago (Wes had put ideas in his head, but he doesn't have time to think about that now), and a condom – not that they need it, it's both their first times. Regardless, watching Blaine prep himself, before kissing Kurt and silently asking him whether he's sure, almost sends Kurt over the edge. He just nods, and Blaine moves to prep Kurt, hearing the soft moans filling the room. They're loud, but not loud enough to alert Blaine's parents.

Neither of them know much about sex, other than what Jeff and Nick have told them, respectively. Blaine knows some things in detail, because he talks to Jeff, but even though he has _some _knowledge of sex and the pain involved with the first time, he kisses Kurt to try and keep his boyfriend's mind off of the pain. However, the nails digging into his shoulder bring him a certain satisfaction that he can't explain. It's not something normal, and it's more than arousal. It's the knowledge that Kurt is there, and he's the one giving all of himself to Blaine, and Blaine is doing the same. Maybe it's his morbid need to be logical about everything, or maybe it's just that he's trying to make sure that Kurt never feels abandoned every again… or to stop himself from crying from the pain of hearing what Kurt told him. Regardless, it's a feeling he wants to have over and over and over. Their first time is tender, loving and sloppy, but that's okay, because they can do it again until they have it perfect. Soft kisses are shared, arms and limbs flail, until they're both swept away with a burst of immense pleasure, and curl up naked, under the covers, facing one another. They've slept like this before, but the knowledge that they just experienced their first time, and the immense love, plus coming down from their post-coital high, makes it such a big moment. Blaine caresses Kurt's cheek, leaning in to kiss him, fighting the urge to fall asleep, because they have to go and gather their clothes from the movie room, and maybe even try their previous activity again. Kurt smiles happily, breaking eye contact with Blaine, until the shorter boy grabs his chin and connects their eyes

'I will never abandon you Kurt. I love you forever baby. If you want to take the summer before college off to find your mother, I'll be right there beside you,' Blaine whispered, noticing Kurt's eyes widen in surprise, but Kurt didn't say anything in return. It's the perfect first time, but it definitely won't be the last.

* * *

On Monday morning, when all the Warblers were back at school, Nick, Jeff, Wes and a very reluctant Blaine, came up with a plan to get Kurt to re-join the Warblers. Kurt had been happier since the weekend, and when he let slip to Nick last night that he and Blaine had had sex, he knew why. Nick was happy for his best-friend and took every opportunity to send sly winks, or dirty messages to him and Blaine. But even though he'd taken a step forward, Kurt was still taking steps back. He hadn't re-joined the Warblers, he wasn't spending any time with his family, and the pre-national's practice run against the New Directions is next month, just before Thanksgiving, and Nick is no closer to convincing Kurt to go back to see Dr. Zucker. The only good thing to have come out of this whole thing, is that he and Kurt agreed that Blaine and Jeff would "swap rooms". Three nights a week, Nick would spend with Jeff, and Blaine with Kurt. It's working well, especially for Blaine, who was limping this morning, walking beside a smug looking Kurt. It's only when they all enter the common room that they realise they've walked into the Warblers planning for their Worthington House Thanksgiving Parade, and Kurt and Blaine have been chosen as the "stand in couple" for this year. Nick cheers, hugging Kurt, excited that he and Jeff don't have to deal with it this year, but his best-friend looks less than impressed, in fact, the messages that he gets from Kurt an hour later prove that he's not looking forward to it at all.

**TO: Nick Duval**

**Kill Wes… I am going to… seriously swing the bat and kill him…. So shicked off right now. Can't make salutations. Catching up with them**

**FROM: Kurt Hummel**

Once again, Blaine is confused by the message, but Nick seems to understand it perfectly. Blaine can't help but chuckle at the expression on Nick's face, which in turn, makes Nick look at him strangely. When Blaine explains that he finds their "language" amusing, Nick grins cheekily, and sends a message back to Kurt… one that Blaine understands _a little too well_.

**TO: Kurt Hummel**

**Sitting beside your boyfriend and his dirty thoughts. They're so dirty, I'm surprised you haven't skipped class and come down here… down here… get it ;) I'll see you later. Don't worry about lunch. Have fun with ND. :p**

**FROM: Nick Duval**

Kurt blushed, and hid his face behind the history text book he is currently reading, as to shield his phone from the teacher, and Wes, who is sitting beside him. Reluctantly, he lowers the book, and goes back to working on his history assignment which is due in a week. In the back of his mind, he can see Blaine's smirk, and it drives him crazy, and he knows that he should be focussing on history, but it's Wes' voice that brings him crashing back to reality, that, and the ringing of the bell to signal the end of their classes and the start of lunch. He has an hour to get to Lima, and back before his afternoon class, and then this stupid meeting about the Worthington House Parade, which he's being made to do against his will… _just making it clear Wesley… against my will. _He thought, smirking when Wes turned to look at him, frowning and terrified. Kurt just smiled and stalked out of the classroom.

* * *

_Nick walked beside him as they headed towards the Dean's office. Dalton's Dean is Laurent Granton, an alumnus from the class of 65. He founded the Warblers and led them to four national titles before he graduated in 1965. Kurt, Burt and Nick sit opposite the man, who smiles cheerfully, too cheerfully for Kurt's liking. Everyone here is so cheerful. He'd rather be back at McKinley, listening to Rachel and Finn arguing about whether or not they're clashing in colours, or what solo to sing, or whether or not it's Barbara Week, or a Katy Perry week. Kurt tunes out as the Dean regales them with stories, and facts about the school, slotting in a few questions for Kurt, and handing Nick the welcome pack he's to give to Kurt tomorrow. Burt is listening, amused by the Dean, and finding common ground with him, Nick thinks it's because they're both around the same age, but he wouldn't say it out loud, even though Burt would just glare at him, a small smirk on his face, before shaking his head, mumbling idiots under his breath, and leaving the room. Eventually, Kurt is enrolled and follows his father and Nick to his (now their) dorm room. Burt places the first of Kurt's bags on the empty bed, hugs his son, then Nick, before going to grab the rest of Kurt's things, leaving the two boys to unpack. It's just Nick who talks, mostly about how amazing this year is going to be, and how amazing next year is going to be. Kurt smiles and listens, agreeing when he's meant to, but really, he kind of wishes Nick would leave him alone with his thoughts. He knows his best-friend means well, but he needs time to adjust. To be honest, Kurt was fine at McKinley, but because Finn is overprotective, and told Burt what was happening, he's here at Dalton. At least he has a room with Nick, at least they're best-friends, brothers, and he doesn't have to worry about nightmares waking his roommate and having to explain. _

_Burt returns ten minutes later with the last of Kurt's things, hugs both boys, promising he'll ring Kurt at seven like they agreed, and leaves the room, looking back one last time, finding his son and Nick laughing happily. Nick helps for a bit longer, the two boys chatting and laughing, until Nick says he has to meet Jeff, promising he'll be back later. Kurt just nods, secretly thankful that he'll have some time to himself…. It's almost an hour later when Nick returns, with Blaine and Jeff in tow, the latter of whom just smiles annoyingly, and sits on the couch in the middle of their dorm room. Kurt had finished unpacking all of his things, and had moved onto working on his English Assignment, not involving himself in the conversation going on in front of him. He could feel the eyes of at least one of the boys looking over at him every five minutes, and he knows if he had of looked up, he would have seen the pity and sadness in them. That's why he doesn't look up from what he's doing. Dalton seems to have tighter restrictions on their homework, and Kurt doesn't want to flunk out. He needs perfect marks if he wants to get into Harvard Law, and he plans to get them, because Dalton not only has the best pre-college prep program, they have an LSAT program that runs for the seniors in January, before applications are finalised, that he has started studying for. Nick is standing beside his bed when Kurt finally looks up from his assignment, raising an eyebrow at his grinning friend, knowing he's about to be roped into something he doesn't want to do._

'_Hey Kurt, want to come down to the common room for the Warblers impromptu 'welcome-back-to-school' performance?' Jeff asked_

'_No, I should catch up on school work' Kurt replied, looking back down at the paper on his lap_

'_Come on Kurt, plenty of time to come back to it later,' Nick said, smiling_

'_You go, I'll catch up later,' Kurt lied, and Nick reluctantly nodded, knowing that he was lying, but not wanting to start an argument, and two hours later when Nick returned to the room, Kurt was finished his assignment, in his sleepwear, reading their literature text in his bed. Nick, to be honest, is worried about his best-friend. He knows that it's a transition, and it might take some time for Kurt to settle in, but he's concerned that he's going backwards, and trying to convince Kurt to join the Warblers, is becoming futile. By ten, Kurt is asleep, but wakes up twice with nightmares, which Nick sits up with him for, until Kurt falls back asleep, but not before agreeing to go back and see Dr. Zucker._

* * *

He should have known walking into the Choir Room at McKinley, and having Rachel pounce on him, before pulling him by his arm to the auditorium wouldn't end well. For there, standing beside one another, were the New Directions and the Warblers… prepared to sing to Kurt, until he agreed to come back to the Warblers, and kick Rachel's butt at nationals. Blaine winked at his boyfriend from his place on the stage, and smiled cheerfully when Kurt winked back at him, taking a seat in the front row, where Rachel _made _him sit, whilst Wes, David and the other Warblers and New Directions, prepared their pre-nationals get-Kurt-to-re-join-the-Warblers performance. He knew, the minute that he walked into McKinley, and saw Puck grin at him that something out of the ordinary was going on, because Noah Puckerman didn't _grin _at anyone. In fact, he rarely grins at all. It's hard enough getting the man to smile, let alone grin. So that should have been the first thing. The second thing, is that he was in his Dalton Uniform, and Rachel didn't scream bloody murder at the top of her lungs. That was the second clue. Also, has no idea how the Warblers managed to beat him here, but Nick seemed cocky, so he would be talking to his best-friend later. Regardless, he watches them perform against one another, listening to their respective songs… _not the ones they're actually performing… of course, can't give those away… _and spots Blaine, who makes eye contact with him, puppy dog eyes in full effect, and he gives in, and stands, moving to leave the auditorium, hearing the music stop behind him.

'KURT PLEASE DON'T LEAVE. Blaine is miserable without you. Hell, I'm miserable without you. Come on Kurt, we all miss you' Wes shouted, and Blaine whacked him, smiling

'If I'm going to re-join the Warblers, I need to finish my history assignment, and I have no idea how you managed to beat me here, but it will take me an hour to get back to school. So thanks, but I have work to do. I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow…' Kurt replied, hearing the cheers behind him, smirking as he left the school.

'So, it was that easy? Why didn't we think of that a week ago?' David asked

'Okay, can you guys kindly get out of our school now?' Rachel asked, ushering the blazer clad boys out of the room.

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: As Thanksgiving and National's approaches, the Warblers lock down on rehearsals, and the Worthington House Parade brings about some unresolved feelings for Kurt, Blaine, Nick and Jeff, about their futures. Wes and David decide they're going to promote a 'Warbler Slack-Off' Day, and Kurt uses this as an opportunity to inquire about LSAT's and his mother, where he discovers secrets his father has been keeping. Rachel and Finn share some surprising news about their futures, and the New Directions begin a 'Prank War' on the Warblers, who retaliate with style, introducing the twins, Elijah and Emmanuel Turnstone. Nick tells Kurt that he wants him to go back and get help, after his nightmares worsen. Flashbacks include, Burt discovering something about his ex-wife, Nick deals with Kurt's rebellious streak, and Kurt deals with wanting to live or die. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	5. What Is, and What Can Never Be

**A/N: Hello. WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of Self-harm, and suicide. Trigger Warnings. Please proceed with caution. This chapter is a darker one that most, but it's not the darkest chapter overall. I just wanted to add a warning, to make sure that everyone knows what is contained within, before you read it. I'm not 100% sure how things work in America with colleges, I've tried to research as much as possible, and i hope that it's accurate, but if it isn't, please let me know in a private message, or a review (with kindness and love, cause we're all helping one another), and I'll do my best to fix it. Thank you. I hope you're enjoying this story. Read and Review. Thanks, JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Five: What Is, and What Can Never Be**

It had been a relatively quiet week since they had gotten Kurt to re-join the Warblers. Thanksgiving is coming up, and National's is drawing closer, which, according to Wes, means that their 'prank war' on the New Directions is officially underway. The Worthington House Parade is in two days, and Kurt and Blaine had been picked as the "Favourite Couple" to represent this year, which apparently means they have to give a speech to the incoming freshmen about where they see themselves in five years. Kurt is unsure. He doesn't have any set plans for college, because he's been too worried about planning to find his mother after school ends. Of course, Nick is in the same boat, not being able to decide on what school to attend, and whether or not to follow Jeff, or his own dreams. Even though whatever school Jeff goes to, Nick could probably do the same thing at the same school. But the other boy always makes it a point to explain to Kurt, that it's not about picking the same school, it's about knowing whether or not you're picking the _right _school. It has the four of them in a bit of a stage of denial. For example, Blaine doesn't know whether to go to the school that his father went to, or go to the one he wants to attend, even though he doesn't know which one it is yet. Kurt doesn't seem that fussed about it, but he knows it's in the back of his mind. He knows that eventually, he's going to have to make a choice, but he wants to make it, so that it gives him enough time to locate his mother. This is the thought that occupies his mind all day, and even when Blaine is straddling him on his bed, slowly unbuttoning his white shirt, kissing down his torso as each button is undone, he's still thinking about college choices, and how it's all going to work. Sensing his boyfriend is distracted, Blaine presses his lips against Kurt's, knocking him back to reality.

For dinner, Nick ordered pizza for the Warblers, and made them eat it in the common room, letting their conversations stray away from the Parade and college preparations and anything else that didn't have to do with just being together and relaxing. Of course, he didn't inform Wes of any of this, and the Head Warbler made it his mission to drive them crazy with plans for the Parade. Kurt had secluded himself in one corner of the common room, just watching his crazy friends and boyfriend, as they versed one another in Dance Party 3 on the Wii. He couldn't help but laugh when they found a song that was perfect for them to just sway to, and didn't have to actually dance. The only thing Kurt knows absolutely, is that he wants to go to Law School. He's set up his interview with the College Councillor, and knows everything he needs to know about taking the LSAT's. He's got all the materials required to prepare for it, and knows what needs to be done. The thing he doesn't know, if what Law School to apply to. Blaine's choice will largely impact on his, and they both know this. They know it, and it's driving them mad, because they're picking the schools based on each other, and even though they know they're going to be together for a while (_forever is an outdated term according to David), _picking where they're going based on a relationship, that has a fifty-fifty chance, isn't the smartest option. Yet, there seems to be something that will always be missing. When the cheering from the Warblers knocks him back to reality, it's because he's being pulled by the hand onto the makeshift stage to compete against Nick in Dance Party 3. Smirking and raising his eyebrow at Nick, who just smirks back, he knows this isn't going to end well. They're both fairly good dancers, but when they're up against each other, well it's hard to pick a winner… even the Wii has trouble deciding.

* * *

_He understood the concept behind filing a missing persons report. He knew that, but he doesn't want to file a missing person's report, he just wants someone to locate his ex-wife, without having to get the police involved, which is stupid, because he came to them in the first place. It's been almost ten years since his wife 'disappeared', and he knows it's useless to start looking for her now, but he's worried about his son. Kurt has been acting out more and more, and Burt needs answers. He gets home from work one day, late, and finds a man, waiting on the front porch. The guy looks shady, but Burt has a feeling that he won't be harmed… and he's right when the other man, shorter than Burt, wearing a black suit and glasses, extends his hand and introduces himself as Agent Fischer. Burt invites the Agent inside and is told that he's willing to go undercover, locate his wife, and report back to him. Like a private eye, but off the books. Something about the whole situation is off, but then he hears Kurt come home, talking exasperatedly into the phone, and he accepts the man's offer. At this point, he's desperate. Two hours later, Agent Fischer is leaving, and promises to give updates to Burt as he progress through the case. Kurt is standing at the top of the stairs when his father turns around, but he doesn't say anything, just watches as his father climbs the stairs towards him, pulling him into a hug when he reaches his son. Kurt doesn't hug him back, he doesn't see the point. His father is hiding things from him, and he wants to know what they are._

_It's almost a week later, when Burt gets a call from Agent Fischer. He tells the man that he's in Texas, and that he located Elizabeth. All of a sudden, it becomes too real for Burt, knowing that his ex-wife is still out there, and is choosing not to come home. He should get in his car and drive to Texas, but he doesn't want to be the one that goes to her. Not yet anyway. Fischer sits down at the large dining room table, and hands Burt a file that is thick. He asks if Burt knows about the drugs and partying, and he explains that he does, that's how she used to be before they got married and had Kurt. He also tells Burt something that almost shatters his already fragile heart… he tells the bald man that she has another kid. He's seven, and lives with Elizabeth in Texas. Something inside him breaks, and he's slamming his fist down on the table, standing and leaving the room for a moment, before re-entering the room, and thanking Agent Fischer, who promises to keep in contact, that should he ever want to locate her, or get in contact with her, he'll be the guy to talk to. After the man leaves, Burt goes through the file Fischer gave him, thankful that Kurt was staying at Nick's tonight, knowing beyond all else, that this would absolutely destroy him even more. The file is thick, detailed, starting from when they were in highschool, until right now. Ten years after she goes missing, and all this time, she's been living in Texas with her new and improved family. It makes Burt mad that all this time, she's had Kurt, she's never once contacted him since she ran off. He's pissed, but not just at her, or himself, he's pissed at someone he doesn't even know, for taking away the woman he loves, and for destroying the soul of his son, who is already starting to experience mood swings like his mother. He's so much like his mother… so much like her, it's scary for Burt sometimes._

* * *

On Friday morning, the day before the Parade, Worthington House, and its residents, are a flurry of activity. Miss Price is standing in the middle of the chaos, Blaine on one side, Kurt on the other, just watching, and gaping at the flurry of Warblers, being shouted at by Wes, David and Thad. It's made worse by Elijah and Emmanuel deliberately destroying everything, and laughing about whatever instructions Wes is giving them. Before they know it, Kurt and Blaine are being ushered through the crowd of Warblers, so they can run through rehearsal. For this, they have to be the happy couple that they are, and make statements that _don't necessarily _scare the incoming freshmen, but do give them the jitters. It made Wes tingle to think that they hold the power to completely scar incoming freshmen. He smiles manically, rubbing his hands together in a villain like manner, before turning to face David, who is also smiling manically. _Those two are definitely on the same wave length as one another _Kurt thought to himself, smirking at the look on the Twins faces when David asked them to leave the room. Apparently, they're going to be introduced after the first Warbler number, and then Miss Price is going to hand them their envelopes, containing their speeches, which they will read to the sea of people who are going to be here. Kurt wants to hit him, he really does. It's so tempting to turn around, swing his arm, and hit Wes right in the face, and his restraint is fading by the minute, getting less and less as he fights to keep himself from doing something stupid. He's broken out of his thoughts by Ian, Riker and Shane, members of the Warblers, calling to Wes from the door, that some of the new students and their parents are here early. It's funny to see Wes' eyes bulge from his head, as he runs off the stage and follows the three boys out of the room. Kurt just sits on the edge of the stage, watching everything and trying to think about a future he hasn't even planned yet. He doesn't even notice Nick sit down beside him, until his best-friend bumps his shoulder and smiles.

'What is going on in that big head of yours Kurt?' he asks, smiling

'I don't know what I'm going to say. I haven't thought about college. I don't know what my future holds. Why does it all need to be decided today?' Kurt asked

'Kurt, I know this is a tough choice for you, and I know it can be a difficult one. You don't have to make the choice today, but you should do something. Say something that at least inspires someone,' Nick replied

'Things used to be so simple didn't they?' Kurt asked, but Nick didn't smile, he just looked at his brother

* * *

It was late, probably about three in the morning (or early, depending on how you look at it). Nick was woken by a loud crash. He sat up quickly, flicked the light on, and saw something he hasn't seen in a while. Kurt was curled up, at the foot of his bed, blood pouring from his arm, the picture frame that used to sit on the bedside table, shattered on the floor. Nick was out of his bed so fast, grabbing the first aid kit, trying to hold back the emotion at seeing his best-friend, his brother, sitting like this, on the floor of their dorm room. He's kind of glad that it's not Blaine's night to stay here. He doesn't know how he's going to explain this to anyone, but as he's patching Kurt up, the countertenor is rocking back and forth, mumbling mixed words, none of them making any sense. Nick hears _Karofsky, _something about _wanting to be free _and Kurt just saying _don't leave me _over and over. Karofsky he gets, he knows how terrible that ordeal was, but the other two things have him terrified. He knows that he shouldn't, he should wait until the morning, till he has a clear head, but he can't do this alone anymore. So he grabs his cell and calls Blaine, telling him to bring Jeff. He helps Kurt to his feet, moving the other boy back over to his bed, and making him sit calmly in the center of it. Five minutes later, Blaine and Jeff arrive, bursting through the door, both immediately spotting Kurt, the blood and the bandage. If Kurt knows Blaine's in the room, he doesn't say anything. He's still rocking back and forth mumbling things under his breathe. Jeff pulls Nick into a hug, and for the first time in a while, he cries into his boyfriend's shoulder. Kurt can't deny this anymore. He can't not go and see Dr. Zucker. Blaine climbs onto Kurt's bed, moving to sit beside the taller boy, placing a shaking hand on his left shoulder. Kurt's head flicks to meet his, and Nick moves closer to the dorm door. There is something, behind Kurt's blue-green eyes that terrifies Blaine. He can't pinpoint the emotion, but it's not something he ever wants to see there again. Kurt doesn't look at Blaine. He doesn't look at any of them, he just climbs under the covers, and closes his eyes. When Blaine knows he's asleep, he presses a soft kiss to his boyfriend's temple, and moves over to where Nick and Jeff are sitting on the couch in the dorm. None of them say anything, none of them know what to do. All they do know, is that everything has to change now.

On Saturday morning, at nine am, Kurt is sitting between Nick, and Jeff in the Worthington Hall, listening to Wes go on and on about how fantastic it is to be in the Warblers, and how much of a tight knit group they are. Kurt wants to roll his eyes, but he's been awake since three, and he can't get the image of Blaine, the pain in his eyes, out of his head. It's killing him, knowing that Blaine saw him like that, saw him when he was at the lowest of lows, and he wants to be mad at Nick for calling his boyfriend, but logically, he can't. Blaine is up first for the speech, and Kurt is grateful that it isn't him, because he doesn't have anything to say that will inspire, and he doesn't know where he's going to college, or what he's going to do, or where he wants to end up. What he does want, is answers to the questions he knows his father has been hiding from him. He wants to know why his mother left, and why she hasn't come back, and what the hell is wrong with him. He's not a rational person most of the time, but something about his behaviour is off, and according to Nick, it's not the first time. Kurt listens as Blaine talks about what it's like to be the Lead Warbler, how much fun it is, what a great extra-curricular activity it is, and how good it will look on a college application. He also talks about the wonderful (and crazy) friends he's made, and how being a Warbler has changed his life in so many different ways. Then he talks about where he's going to school, and tells the incoming freshmen that he hasn't made up his mind, but when he does, he's going to make the right choice for him. He thanks them, and they clap, letting Blaine return to his seat on the other side of Nick. He had purposely not sat next to his boyfriend, because he doesn't want to see that look of pity or hurt in his eyes. When it's his turn, he stands, moves over to the podium, and pulls out the one piece of paper he wrote something on this morning. Nick leans over to whisper something to Jeff, who nods once.

'Hello incoming freshmen, my name is Kurt Hummel. I was a transfer last year, so I haven't been with the Warblers for that long, but I can agree with everything that Blaine said. It's a great group of people, and I'm sure if they weren't graduating, Wes, David and Thad would love to get to know you all. College is a large step forward for all seniors, but I don't know where I'm going. I haven't thought that far ahead. If I could give you one piece of advice for highschool, it would be to keep your chin up, hands clean, and mind on the work. Everything else can wait till later. Go after what you want, don't let nothing stop you,' he finished, leaving the podium, and the stage, heading towards his dorm room, sighing when he heard Blaine behind him

'Babe, that was a great speech,' Blaine said, reaching out to take Kurt's hand, but the taller boy flinched out of his grip, startling Blaine

'Thanks. I'm going home for the weekend. I'll see you on Monday,' Kurt replied, turning to enter his room, without kissing or hugging Blaine

'Kurt wait….' Blaine said, but the door was closed in his face, not slammed, just closed.

* * *

_He's contemplated it a lot in the last seven years. He's sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at the razor sitting in front of him, thinking about whether or not it would be worth it. He wonders what it would feel like, if he'd even feel it in the first place. Would it stings? Would the blood bleed red, or some mahogany colour? Would anyone miss him if he did it? He knows that Nick would have a hard time, but he's probably better off without Kurt in his life, besides, he has all his Westerville friends. That kid Jeff and him seem pretty close, even though Kurt's only met him once, and they've only been in the same room together once, he knows there is something between the two. If he decides the time has come to leave, then he knows Nick wold be okay with Jeff. He'd do fine, probably get into a great college, and make a name for himself. Who wouldn't want that? Well apart from Kurt, who doesn't really know what he wants right now. But he's staring at the razor, and it's like it's calling to him, and he wonders if part of that is because his mother is actually dead, and this is her spirit. He's not a spiritual person, so he doesn't know why he'd believe something like that, but if Rachel can talk about that kind of thing happening to her, why couldn't it happen to someone who doesn't believe in that stuff? It's ten in the morning on a Saturday. His father is at work, and he lied and said he was going to Mercedes' house to spend the day with her, but he can't get up. He doesn't want to get up, because he has needs too, and maybe that razor can fulfil those for him. But something makes him get up off the bathroom floor, grab his cell, and keys and call Mercedes to get her mother to come pick him up. He doesn't know what it is, but it's something, not something very strong, but it's there._

_He wonders, on the way to Mercedes' house, in the car, how easy it would be just to walk out in front of one, let it hit you. It would be easy, wouldn't it? Quick, simple, and painless. After a second, you wouldn't feel anything. He doesn't say much on the car ride to Mercedes' house, he doesn't say much at the best of times, but staring out the window has made him question leaving his house. It makes him ache for his house, in a way that he shouldn't know until he's old and dying in a nursing home. He shouldn't have that ache in his heart, but he does. He does because his mother is gone, his father is distant, and the only friends he has, lives in Westerville. Sure, Mercedes and Rachel are nice, but he wouldn't count them friends, more like acquaintances. He's silent, but in his head he's making a list, reasons for wanting to stay, and reasons for wanting to go, and at the moment, the latter is winning out. He has two more things on the reasons for wanting to go list, than he does for the stay list. He's not a stupid twelve year old. He's quite smart, and he knows that this isn't something that he should be dealing with at his age, but he is and he has to do it alone, because dragging other people into this… it won't end well. When they arrive at Mercedes' house, she's the first out of the car, followed by her mother, and then Kurt. He climbs out, for a moment, just watching the movement of cars flowing up the street behind him, turns to see the young girl smiling, and decides that today isn't the day. Today he wants to live, but he's not sure if that's going to be his feeling all the time. _

* * *

It starts out as good, clean, practical jokes. Puck buys a bunch of taxidermy Warbler birds, puts them in a cage, and makes the joke that they can't "break free". He sends this to Wes, with the soundtrack from the Queen Song playing through the small speakers. Rachel calls that afternoon, and tells them that the prank war has officially begun, and they'll see them at Nationals after Christmas. Given that it's still November, and thanksgiving is only a week away, Kurt is positive they'll see each other before then, but he admires the girls work. Earlier in the day, Finn had called him, and explained that he and Rachel have decided, that after highschool, they're breaking up, and going their separate ways, that if it's meant to be, it will be. Kurt can understand that, and motions to move that Finn come over to his dorm and they can have a boy's night, but he says that due to the conditions laid out in Wes' "GUIDE TO THE PRANK WAR" he's not allowed on Dalton grounds. Kurt just chuckles, hearing paper flip over the phone, but promises Finn that if he needs to talk, he'll be there. Finn thanks his brother, and hangs up the phone. Kurt had passed on the information to the relevant people, and whilst they were saddened for them, it didn't stop Wes from unleashing the twins, Elijah and Emmanuel on the unsuspecting New Directions. _This will not end well _Kurt thought, as he wants the two twins plotting in the corner of the Warbler rehearsal room, where they've been locked down in rehearsals for the last three days. This has been the plan for the last two weeks. They've had nothing but rehearsals since the Parade, and their vocal chords are beginning to dry up. They need a break, and whilst the prank war will still be on-going, Miss Price suggests that Wes and David promote a "Warbler Slack-Off Day" where for one day, she'll let them miss school, and do whatever they want, because they've been working so hard. Kurt just rolls his eyes at the teacher's misplaced enthusiasm, and goes back to his Physics assignment.

He's in the middle of a basketball game, one-on-one, with Nick, when suddenly he's being pulled aside, and forced to sit down. He knows that Nick has been shaken since what happened two weeks ago, and he's given the boy the space that he needs, even though it's hard to be without Nick for that long, but now they're sitting here, beside one another, sweating from playing sport, and he wants to just burst out, apologise. He doesn't do it often enough, but the look in Nick's eyes stops him. He has something to say, and Kurt knows it's going to have something to do with going back to see Dr. Zucker. His nightmares have been getting worse. It's not like he can control them right now, and that's maybe what makes him take Nick seriously this time, by agreeing to go back and see Dr. Zucker. He promises that he will, calling his father to let him know that he'll be staying at the house tonight, and that Nick has convinced him to start seeing the psychiatrist again. Burt is proud of his son for making the decision, and calls to Nick to come over as well. Kurt smiles when he agrees, and shoots the ball from where he's standing, on the opposite end of the court, getting it in the hoop first time, and leaving his best-friend speechless. It always surprises Nick, the things that Kurt can do without other people knowing. Sports, video games, music, languages… it's amazing. He himself couldn't be prouder of Kurt, and tells him that several times throughout their one-on-one game, messing around with him on the court. They're in the middle of making a bet with one another, when Jeff, Riker, Blaine, Wes, David, Thad, and the Twins enter the gym, and take a seat in the bleachers.

'I didn't know Kurt could play basketball like that,' Wes said loudly, drawing the attention of the two on the court, and Blaine couldn't help but gape when he saw Kurt, in sports attire, hair mussed, beads of sweat on his forehead… it was hot

'Kurt, you didn't tell us you could play sport like that,' David said

'I don't tell you a lot of things David. I have many talents, but they wouldn't be hidden talents if I told you about them now would they?' Kurt asked, smirking and dodging Nick, to shoot another slam dunk, hi-fiving his friend

'Come on losers, pick sides and join our bet. First to get thirty ball in the hoop in a row, gets whatever money is put in,' Nick said, and the other Warblers pull their wallets out… and that is how Kurt paid for Blaine's Christmas present that year.

* * *

That night, when Kurt was at home, having finally gotten rid of Finn, he went into the study, and over to the computer. It was the only computer in the house, that doesn't slow down when you connect to the wifi, for some reason, all their other computers do. But he was surprised, when he opened the laptop, and the screen lit up, to see that his father had left his last page open, a map with tabs, pinpointing locations all across America. There was one in Indianapolis, Chicago, Texas, Ohio… he closed the map and tried to locate the link, which led him to a file, hidden amongst other document folders on his father's computer. It was entitled _Elizabeth_. Simple as that, his father had been tracking his mother for all these years, and had told him nothing about it. He's been hiding this big thing from him, and without knowing it, has been lying to Kurt. The countertenor just stares at the folder for a second, wondering if he should just open it, get it over with, but instead decides to send himself an email, he'll read it at school when Nick is around and can help him understand why his father would keep something like this from him. He's just logged out of the computer when his father enters and freezes, like a dear in the headlights, and asks Kurt what he's looking at. Kurt lies, saying he was on the internet, and looking at his dad like he's crazy when he asks if he found anything he shouldn't. Kurt just hid his hurt, lying and saying that he hadn't, and that if he had, he'd never let his father live it down, pretending to think it was something other than what it was. After Kurt left the room, Burt quickly turned the computer back on, and went through everything seeing past history… Finn had taught him how to be pretty computer savvy… but he didn't find anything that would suggest his son had found the folder he keeps hidden amongst other things. There was nothing to suggest that Kurt knows that for the last thirteen years, he's been tracking his mother, and that all this time, he's been close to finding out where she is… close to getting answers. But what is, and what never can be, is still yet to be determined.

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: Wes and David launch "Operation Warbler-Slack-Off-Day", and Kurt uses the opportunity to inquire about the LSATS. Christmas comes a little too quickly for their liking, and Kurt discovers that he got a high enough mark on his LSATS to get into Harvard, which makes Blaine immensely proud of his boyfriend. The New Directions step up the Prank War, and use Brittany as bait, when Wes and the Twins take things to the extreme. As they prepare for National's, Nick and Burt get together to uncover some rather revealing information about Elizabeth, and keep it from Kurt. The Anderson's invite Kurt to spend Christmas with them, and after talking to Burt, happily agrees to spend the morning with them, and the afternoon with his father and Carole. Flashbacks include: Nick deals with Kurt's rebellious streak, the first time Kurt decides to harm himself, the introduction of the New Directions to his boyfriend, and Kurt and Blaine's first date. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	6. Wonderful Time of the Year

**A/N: Hello. Sorry it's a day late. I've been dealing with some rather unpleasant things my life has decided to throw at me. This chapter has mentions of self-harm, but not overly so. It's Christmas, but instead of writing all about what everyone gets and all that blah blah, I just decided to write _around _Christmas. It's mentioned throughout the next few chapters, some of the gifts they receive. This is also the first chapter where we get extensive information on Kurt's biological mother and her location. This will be a big thing in the next few chapters, and leading towards the end. I hope you're enjoying this story. Read and Review lovelies. Have a fabulous day (or night, depending where you live in the world). JusticeIsn'tEasy. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Wonderful Time of the Year**

The signs that had been slipped under each of the Worthington House dorm doors on the morning of December 18th, had most of the Warbler's either excited, or rolling their eyes. Kurt was nowhere to be seen, but Nick did roll his eyes for his absent countertenor friend, and when he met up with Blaine and Jeff, the three of them rolled their eyes together, as Wes, David and Thad gathered the common house together for "Operation Warbler-Slack-Off-Day" or as it has been proclaimed by Riker and Ian, "WSOD". Nick rolls his eyes at this, and follows Blaine, Jeff and the Twins out of their house, and over to the cafeteria. No one has asked about Kurt this morning, which is surprising, but also a little comforting, because he knows that Blaine would have all the information he needs, and that Jeff doesn't really need to know, even though they're friends. Miss Price is standing in the middle of their rehearsal room, smiling and holding Wes' itinerary in her hands. Nick, Jeff and Blaine ignore her, and the other Warbler's gathering around to listen to her and Wes talking about WSOD, moving to the far side of the room, and taking residence on the couches they have claimed as 'theirs'. It's amusing to watch the Warblers all together in one place, walking around and acting like idiots over a day that the teachers are for some reason, condoning. They have a week off coming up anyway, so why do they need a 'slack-off' day? Miss Price begins calling them all to attention, and then proceeds to explain to them the rules of WSOD. They can go anywhere, as long as they have an off-school pass, and if they're staying on the grounds, they aren't to disturb the other students. Blaine is only half listening, focused mainly on the text messaging going on beside him, and the look on Nick's face. He manages to catch a glimpse of a message from Kurt to Nick about missing a rehearsal, for an appointment, but looks away when the other boy looks up, frowning. He knows that Kurt is going back to Dr. Zucker, but part of him wishes his boyfriend would tell him about it.

When all is said and done with rehearsal, the Warblers head to their first classes of the day, dawdling along behind one another, talking and laughing and making sure they've got the right books, and haven't left their blazers behind. Nick is about to sit beside Blaine, when Kurt appears in the doorway, books in his hands. He smiles, and moves over to where they're sitting, tie hanging loose around his neck, shirt unbuttoned. He sits down, and finishes dressing himself in the correct manner, and then opens his history text book to the right page, grabbing the pen he had sitting behind his ear. Blaine is watching all of this from beside his boyfriend, and Nick is amused, talking to Jeff excitedly about something, but with a small smirk on his face, at Kurt's unkempt attire. Something about the situation seems off. Kurt is never later to class, he's always dressed immaculately, even in the uniform, and he's never missed a rehearsal since he re-joined the Warblers, and all this is going on without the knowledge of Blaine. He's about to start a conversation, but their teacher calls them to silence (not that Wes seems to understand the concept), and begins their class, talking about the effects of post-war life on those who lived through it. Kurt isn't paying attention, but he can feel Blaine watching him. He can feel him, the question on his lips, the furrow of his brow, the frustrated manner in which he's twirling his pencil in his hand. For a moment, it's amusing to Kurt, but then it's kind of annoying. He wants to talk to Blaine, of course he does, but they're in class, and he quite enjoys history. Besides, there's plenty of time to talk on tomorrow, on the slack off day. Silently, Kurt takes Blaine's free hand, and kisses it softly, sending him a small smile, and wink, before turning back to the front, not letting go of his boyfriend's hand, but it's enough to get Blaine to focus back on work, and stop worrying, if only until they can sneak away at lunch and talk. Nick and Jeff are watching the interaction, and Kurt manages to send a glance to the other side of the room, where Wes is also watching him, an odd look on his face… _what is everyone's problem today? _

* * *

On the morning of their slack off day, Kurt wakes to find the blinds open, Nick fully dressed, arguing with David and Wes in the small common area in their room. He sits up, letting the doona pool around his waist, revealing the toned muscles of his abdomen. All three of the Warblers looked over at him, and smiled, before resuming their conversations. Kurt just ignored them, and moved to shower and find Blaine. They're supposed to be meeting up with Puck and Finn to go bowling, because for some reason, the Glee Club also has the day off, and he's starting to think that this whole thing was planned for a reason. Regardless, he's looking forward to spending the day with the New Directions, because ever since the 'prank war' started, he hasn't really been able to. Blaine arrives just as Kurt is pulling on his shirt, and greets his boyfriend with a kiss, before grabbing his hand and following him out of the room. Nick just waves, leaving the two to disperse, before they're dragged into whatever Wevid are planning. Blaine looks amazing in casual clothes, which Kurt makes sure to mention as they head towards Blaine's car. He doesn't often get to see Blaine in casual clothes, because they're always in uniforms at school, but when he does, he takes every opportunity to stare, or goad or touch his boyfriend. Blaine is smirking, and Kurt just winks at him, before pressing him against the car, kissing him passionately, and pulling away before Blaine can blink, laughing when he hears the other boy groan, but move around to the driver's side. The drive to the bowling alley in Lima was quicker than Kurt thought, and Puck, Finn and the New Directions were standing outside waiting for them, cheerfully running over to them as Kurt got out of the car, bracing himself to be hugged by Rachel, Mercedes and Brittany.

'So, we have a designated day off. How did you all manage to swing it?' Blaine asked, as they headed inside

'Well, Schuester talked to Sue and she "banned" the New Directions from the auditorium for one day, so we decided to take the day off. Besides, we're seniors, and schools almost over. Christmas is coming and it's not like we have much work to do,' Finn replied, smiling and thanking the guy standing behind the counter

'Well, New Directions and Klaine, let's do this,' Puck said, fist-bumping and hi-fiving everyone

'You going down Puckerman,' Kurt said, smirking and grabbing a blue bowling ball off the rack, laughing at Puck's stunned face

After the first game, Puck was calling for the next game to be a bet. Kurt wasn't about to let Puckerman think he could be beaten, so he took the mow hawked boy up on his offer of a bet. Blaine, Rachel, Puck, Finn and Brittany gathered on their side of the lane to discuss the bet, and Kurt, Mercedes, Quinn, Santana and Sam just waited to see what they were going to have to do. The fact that Kurt was on the opposite team made the opportunity for Blaine, to see his boyfriend out of his comfort zone too large to pass up. He quite happily agreed to join the other team, because healthy completion in a relationship is good, and they both know where they're going to end up at the end of today. Kurt winks at him, before turning to talk to Sam about something, and Blaine knows that he's gone straight away. Anything they do, he's under Kurt's charm, and there isn't anything he can do about it. He loves that boy more than anything, and Finn and the others can see it. Rachel just smirks at him, before clapping her hands, and announcing that they have the conditions of Puck's bet. The groups stood facing each other, amused that things were getting interested. Puck stated that should Kurt's team win the next game, they can have a free shot at the New Directions for their prank war, without retaliation, to which they agreed, and then Puck said what would happen if they lost… Kurt would have to let the Warblers take a hit without them retaliating, and if they do, then New Directions would win the pool. Kurt couldn't promise that Wes and the Twins wouldn't try anything, but agreed, shaking Puck's hand, and turning back to get the game underway. He was bowling against Blaine this round, and he knew that Rachel had set it up that way on purpose, but he knew the tricks of the trade to make Blaine lose focus. Mercedes smirked at the Lead Warbler, and suddenly his mouth went dry, when he noticed Kurt removing the jacket he'd been wearing, to reveal a skin tight shirt, that covered him in _all the right _ways. He's toast.

* * *

After their bowling, and Kurt winning, he made sure that Puck and Finn understood the terms of the bet, and they nodded, hugging and going back to their cars. Kurt got into Blaine's car, and they headed back to Dalton, so Kurt could pick up his own car. He has an appointment in Columbia, and his father is taking him down there, so he has to be back at Dalton, and then back in Lima by seven. They're taking a couple of days to head to Columbia, and then they're coming back to Lima. Nick is going with them, because Burt wants him there, and Blaine is spending time with his family anyway, so Kurt will see him on Christmas Eve. He's spending Christmas Morning with the Anderson's, and then afternoon with Burt and the Hudmel's and Duval's. When they get back to Dalton, it's like a ghost town, Wes and David aren't anywhere to be seen, so Kurt and Blaine manage to get back to their dorm rooms, without getting accosted by other Warbler's. He thinks he's about to get away scot free, when Nick, Wes, Thad and David arrive in the dorm, and chuckle as Kurt, tells them about beating the New Directions, and the bet they made. He barely gets time to look up, before Wes leaves the room, shouting for the twins. Kurt doesn't have time to hang around and watch to see what they do, he and Nick have to be back in Lima in an hour. They catch up with Jeff and Blaine on their way out of Dalton, Kurt pulled Blaine into a hug, kissing him softly before getting into the car, letting Nick and Jeff say their goodbye's, which turned into a five minute make-out session. Blaine chuckled, Jeff punched his arm, and Nick and Kurt waved as they drove off. They were silent on the way to Lima, Nick was just watching his best-friend as he drove through the streets, thinking back to the time when Kurt was in the rebellious stage of his life… _those were hard times… _Nick thought.

* * *

_He wasn't sure what had brought it on in the first place, but Kurt was breaking curfew… again. It's strange, to get a call at ten at night, to sneak out of your house, and meet up with your friend, so that you can attend a party that is thrown by a bunch of fifteen year olds. Nick isn't sure that he's ready to deal with this, but he can't let Kurt do this on his own. When they get to the house, Nick notices that Mercedes, and the other girl, Quinn he thinks her name is, are standing on the front porch. They smile when they see Kurt, and introduce themselves to Nick, who just smiles. He's not happy that Kurt texted him, saying he was sneaking out to a party, and told him that there will probably be underage drinking and all of that stuff. Lately, Kurt has been different. Acting out, going against his father, getting into trouble at school. Instead of being bullied, he's _become _the bully. Nick has talked to Burt and Mercedes about this, but neither of them seem to be able to reign him in. it's only when they're inside the house, and in the basement, (he soon discovers that it's Rachel's house), that he notices Kurt's wrists when he takes his jacket off, and hands it to the mow hawked boy. Nick is the outcast. All of the people in this room are from McKinley, and he's from Dalton. Sure, they've had parties like this, but they're not outrageous, and there certainly isn't any alcohol. At this rate, Kurt will be an alcoholic by the time he's eighteen. Not that it stops him. At midnight, several more people show up, and Nick notices a couple of them are guys that Kurt met when he snuck out to the local gay bar last week. He's talking with one of them in the corner of the room, and to be honest, Nick's a little annoyed, because he's clearly being taken advantage of, but Kurt is too drunk to notice… or maybe he just doesn't care. Either way, Nick pulls Mercedes aside and tells her that he's worried. It does nothing to slay his fears, when the diva just laughs it off as being fourteen and wanting to have a good time, before going back to talk to Rachel. He needs help to get Kurt out of here before he does something he'll regret._

_The following week, Nick and Kurt are walking home from a New Directions rehearsal, (Nick was staying the night, and had offered to pick Kurt up on the way home), when he was surprised by Kurt, pulling him in a back alley, and dropping his backpack on the ground. In the nine years he's known Kurt, he's never seen the boy willing to do anything that could get him arrested. Obviously, whatever Kurt pulls out of his bag isn't going to be something good, and then he notices that they're out the front of Burt's shop, and Kurt pulls his black hoodie over his head, before handing Nick a spray can and smirking at the look on his face. Nick flat out refuses to vandalize Burt's shop, and tells Kurt that he shouldn't either, but something makes him take the lid off… something makes him stand beside Kurt and spray the word 'traitor' onto the garage door. He can hear Kurt inside, throwing things around, and then, in the distance, there is a car, and sirens. That doesn't stop Kurt… but it stops Nick. The Dalton boy can't afford to get into trouble. Dalton doesn't tolerate juvenile delinquents. He's about to call to Kurt, tell him that he's out, that he won't get arrested for him, when the taller boy appears, covered in grease and dirt, hair mussed up, carrying a box filled with papers. He can't read what it says in the dark, but Kurt doesn't say anything else to him, just moves back into the alley, picks up his bag and takes the can from Nick, who is looking at him like he's just pulled off his face, to reveal that he's a demon underneath his skin. There is something underneath his skin, it's another version of Kurt that he doesn't know if he likes that much. It's a version of his best-friend that he's never seen before… it's a version he never wants to see again. _

* * *

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Blaine was woken by his boyfriend pressing kisses to his neck, and chest and face. Blaine woke up, wrapping his arms around Kurt, and smiling, pulling him down to connect their lips. Kurt let Blaine have control for a split second, before he straddled his boyfriend, smirking when Blaine let out a noise of surprise, but happily placed his hands on Kurt's hips, rubbing his thumbs lightly over the skin when his nightshirt had ridden up. Kurt smiled and moved to grab his phone of the nightstand, still straddling Blaine, as he pulled up the email he'd received yesterday. Blaine was watching him, confused and a little annoyed. Kurt is straddling him, and he's turned on right now, that Kurt is sitting like this, and he just wants to take him, but Kurt is playing with his phone. He's about to flip them over, and give Kurt payback, when Kurt shoves the phone in his face, and Blaine takes it from him, reading the email, whilst Kurt kisses his neck, giving him a hickey. Suddenly, Kurt is thrown off of his boyfriend, landing on the floor with a thud, and Blaine quickly climbs out of bed to help his boyfriend up, before kissing him fiercely, pushing him back onto the bed. Kurt just smirks and gives into the events. Obviously, Blaine is happy, but they can talk about that later, because right now, Blaine is kissing the sensitive part of his neck, and all this thoughts are…. Blaine runs his hands up Kurt's back, and lifts the shirt over his head, dropping it onto the floor. Kurt finds himself in the position he had Blaine in only moments ago, and smiles.

'Do you realise what this means Kurt? You can go to law school. You got one of the highest scores. You can go to Harvard Kurt,' Blaine replied, kissing him

'I wanted to give you the news as a Christmas present, but I couldn't wait to tell you,' Kurt replied

'This is amazing Kurt. It's all working out perfectly. We can both go to Harvard now. I got into the music program there,' Blaine replied running his hands through Kurt's hair

'I love you,' Kurt replied, and everything else melted away as they lost themselves in one another.

* * *

_They've been together only a month when Rachel invites him to New Directions party, and tells him to bring his boyfriend so they can meet him. Kurt had mentioned to Blaine that the New Directions wanted to meet him, and warned him what they might do, but the Lead Warbler had just chuckled, and told Kurt that everything would be fine. Reluctantly, Kurt had text Rachel back and told her that they would be there, and would be staying the night in Lima. She replied with a bunch of emoji's, and that was the end of their conversation. Finn had called him earlier in the week, and asked if he could come to Dalton to meet Blaine, before the rest of ND does, and Kurt had made Finn promise that he wouldn't do anything to scare the other boy off. Finn agreed, and had come out to the school. He and Blaine had bonded, and got along really well, which Kurt was happy about… until Finn threatened to dismember Blaine if he hurt his brother. The countertenor couldn't complain though, Nick had done the same thing when he first found out about the two. Kurt took Blaine's hand as he rang the doorbell and waited to Quinn to answer. This week, the party is being held at Quinn's house, because Rachel's fathers are having theirs renovated, and Quinn was excited as the prospect of hosting, so they had it here. The blonde answered the door, excitedly hugging Kurt, kissing his cheek and pulling him through the door, taking both his coat and Blaine's. She turned on the Lead Warbler next, linking their arms and pulling him towards the den, where the party was, talking. Blaine shot Kurt a 'help-me' look, but Kurt just smirked and went ahead. Blaine heard him call out to Brittany, and then saw all of the New Directions gathered around as Quinn pulled him into the room_

_Rachel was the next to pounce, pinning him against the wall, and even with her size, he was terrified of her. He answered her questions, ignoring the ones about stealing their songs for regionals, and looked around the room. The ND boys were standing on one side of the room, watching him, looks on their faces that kind of terrified him, except for Finn who was just smiling at him… or at Rachel he couldn't really tell. Once the interrogations were done (he was approached by all of ND at one stage), they settled around the room, with people shouting ideas of what they could do, before they settled on starting with a little bit of karaoke. Kurt groaned, but told Rachel to go first, because anyone who knows Rachel, knows that you always let her go first, no matter what. Finn smiled, having been selected to run the music, and chose a song that put Rachel out of her comfort zone. This is why it's fun to watch, because they always pick songs for one another, that they either want to hear them try and perform, or that put them in a position where they aren't comfortable. They aren't there to scope out what the New Directions might have planned for regionals, but Blaine doesn't miss the opportunity to film some stuff, and make mental notes to take back to Warbler practice. He also doesn't miss the way Mercedes watches Kurt, like any moment he's going to do something he isn't meant to, and Kurt just stares back at her, almost like they're having a silent conversation. Nick mentioned to Blaine, to keep Kurt away from any alcohol that they might have, but the countertenor is driving, so Blaine doubts he'd be drinking. Most of the room is focused on Rachel, but Blaine is watching the interaction between Kurt and Mercedes. He quite likes the diva, she's protective of Kurt… sometimes overprotective, but regardless, he's unsure of what exactly she's been protective of. When Rachel finishes her song, their silent conversation stops, and Mercedes pulls Santana up to sing with the Latina girl, and Blaine cheers with the rest of them, letting Kurt curl up to him. The first time he meets the New Directions, they're not that bad._

* * *

Two days before Christmas Eve, the Warblers had somehow managed, with the unknowing help of Brittany, to sneak into the Auditorium and Choir Room at McKinley, and fill them with foam, and buckets of water, and sticky glue, so that when they opened the door they would all be covered. It had of course, be caught on camera (that Wes had set up), and the Warblers had gotten a good laugh out of the free shot. But now that it's back to war, Wes and the twins are on their guards the whole time. What the New Directions intended for their prank to get Wes and the twins, actually accidentally was taken out on Kurt, who was left drenched with water, covered in dirt, and a couple of bruised ribs and a fracture in his arm. Apparently, Puck had devised a foolproof plan, that involved taking over the Worthington House courtyard, and spraying them with water and buckets of dirt, whilst being pelted with slushies and those soft balls you throw around in volleyball. However, being paranoid as they should, the twins had made Kurt go outside before them, and without realising, ND attacked him. To say that Kurt was mad was an understatement. Finn had mentioned to Puck that Kurt had gotten him the most amazing gift, but that now he's unsure of whether or not to give it to him as punishment. ND did all they could to make it up to Kurt, but he needed to stew for a couple of days. He got them back, by hijacking the McKinley football rehearsal, and leaving the boys red-faced as they ran out onto the field wearing pink shirts and skirts instead of their football uniforms. It's been fun, but now that it's Christmas Eve, and Kurt and Blaine are looking back on the 'war' they're glad that it's over for another year. It definitely won't be the last though. Not if Puck has anything to say about it.

Nick doesn't know how he got roped into helping Burt find his ex-wife behind Kurt's back. If his best-friend found out that he's known, for the last two months, all the information about Elizabeth, and has been hiding it from him, well it might just send him over the edge. Nick and Burt are in the study of the Hudmel house, everyone else is out, and Kurt isn't arriving until tomorrow, but he called Nick over because Burt has to know. He needs the information now. Elizabeth Calder. That's her maiden name. The name she had before she married Burt Hummel, the mechanic from Lima Ohio. Nick knows that if Kurt finds out that he's doing this for Burt, he'd freak and then everything would go to the shit house. But if the bald man was going to hide things from his son, then that's his choice. Personally, Kurt wouldn't care, even if he knew. He would probably say good riddens to the woman, and head back in the opposite direction, but deep down... deep down, way beneath the hurt and the loss, Nick knows that his best-friend still loves his mother. That's why it hurts him so much to think about, because this woman is his mother. She's the one who birthed him, and then left him. That doesn't just go away. It stays with you and builds into other things in later life. Nick thinks back to Kurt's rebellious years, and remembers him saying something about her seeing it, or hearing about it, and coming home. It's stupid, for Kurt to think that she'd come back after fourteen years, but you can't tell him that. He's been through enough in the last two weeks; he doesn't need his father lying to him about this on his shoulders as well. He hands the bald man the manila folder, and Burt takes it, heading back to the study, where he closes the door and asks Nick to sit on the chair opposite the desk, which he does, albeit reluctantly, before turning to Burt, and telling him what he knows.

'Calder, Elizabeth. She's thirty seven, been in and out of rehab for years. Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder three years ago, and her parole officer said that she's lucky to be alive, after he found her passed out from an overdose when she was thirty-five. She's been in and out of abusive relationships, and has another kid, who is in the foster system, he's ten, and living with a family in…. Denver, Colorado. His name is Jared Hilden. I did a background on his foster parents, they're nice people, work at a family owned business, and have two kids of their own. Currently Elizabeth is at a hospice just out of…. Boulder, Colorado where she moved last year to be near her son. Been married an additional three times, the first to Geoff Hilden, Jared's father, he died of an overdose when Jared was three, and the second to Tom Ford, an investment banker, they were married for four years, before they got divorced after she relapsed. They had no children, and he's re-married, and currently she's married to Malcom Calder, a Salesman from Boulder' Nick said, and Burt looked impressed and annoyed all at the same time

'I knew there was something off about her. She went off her meds two weeks before she took off, and I though the doctor had prescribed her something different, but the erratic behaviour… I should have seen it,'

'Mr Hummel, all due respect, but I don't think you could have anticipated this life for her. She's been dealing with this since she was seventeen, and I think it came back to kick her while she was down,' Nick replied

'I'm going to Boulder for a couple of days. Don't let Kurt know,' He replied, standing

'Sir, Kurt and Blaine are going to be here tomorrow. How do you plan to get to and from Boulder in that time? How do you plan to keep this from them?' Nick asked, but Burt didn't say anything, just looked at his son's best-friend, before standing and leaving the room, Nick just sighed… _this isn't going to end well._

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: The first week back at school is dedicated to perfecting their National's numbers, and then they head to New York to participate, and take the time to look around at some schools. Kurt and Blaine discuss their futures, whether or not they're going to last through college, and Kurt presents Blaine with a promise ring. Nick feels the weight of the world on his shoulders, after he and Burt discuss Elizabeth, and hides it from Kurt. He and Jeff attend a post-National's party with New Directions, where he gets drunk and then admits to Jeff and Blaine that he knows where Kurt's mother is, and he's known for a while. This leads to a rift between the Lead Warbler, and Nick, after he pleads with Blaine not to tell Kurt. Wes says something to Blaine that offends him and Kurt, and the once tight nit group, take sides, and are almost torn apart. Flashbacks include: Kurt and Blaine's first date, the first time Kurt harms himself, the moment Blaine realised that he's in love with Kurt, and Nick and Kurt build a fort in the backyard and pretend they're pirates. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	7. New York Nationals

**A/N: Hello everybody. I want to start by warning readers that there is mention of self-harm in this chapter. (WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM) Please, be cautious and if you do need help, or know someone that does, call you local helpline. Now, on a happier note. It's Wednesday night here in good ol' Australia. I'm excited to post this chapter. Whoop! I hope you guys are enjoying this story. I've gotten a lot of nice reviews from people, and follows and favourites, so thanks for those. I appreciate them. Don't be afraid to check out some of the other fics on my profile. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and the ones to come. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: New York Nationals**

It's been eating away at him for the last three weeks. Ever since Christmas, when Burt told him to promise he wouldn't say anything to Kurt about knowing where his mother is. It's like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep it in for. Wes has been pushing them extra hard. National's is in two days. Tonight, they fly out to New York, and then tomorrow its rehearsals, and then Tuesday is the big day. Jeff is watching him from the other side of the room. He's been zoning out a lot lately, thinking about the repercussions of his friendship with Kurt should he keep this big thing from him. He's been trying to stop Kurt from finding his mother, but he knows what his plans are after Senior Year. He's taking the three month break to find his mother, ask her why she left. Maybe he should just tell Kurt, but then the likelihood of him finishing out the school year would dwindle even more. Nick is broken out of his daydream by Wes shouting at Riker for messing up the steps to their rendition of _Uptown Funk. _Blaine looks about ready to strangle Wes, and Kurt just watches the scene from his position, amused. Nick just stares at his best-friend. _What would happen if I told him? Would he thank me? What would happen if I _didn't _tell him? It's taken us almost thirteen years to get here… _Nick thought, once again being knocked back to reality by Wes calling for them all to leave, and be back out the front of the house by four, so they can go to the airport. Jeff takes his hand as they head back towards their dorms. He can hear Kurt, chatting with the Twins and Riker, Blaine is saying something to Ian, Sebastian and Lachlan about the post-National's party ND are throwing. He's lost in his own little world… lost in his head… lost in his mind… with the weight of the world, and his best-friend's future in his hands.

When he and Kurt get back to their dorm room, he quickly moves to the shower, avoiding conversation with the countertenor, who seems pre-occupied with packing anyway, giving Nick enough time to get out before he asks what's wrong… and Kurt always knows… he can always sense when something is wrong. Nick grabs his clothes, and goes into their bathroom. He turns the water on in the shower, and stares at himself in the mirror for a moment, wondering if he's aged in the last three weeks. He feels as though he's aged almost sixty years, but knows he's exaggerating in his mind. Something about this whole situation is just… wrong. Burt had called him, told him he was driving to Boulder tonight, and that he couldn't be there to say goodbye to them at the airport, but he was to tell Kurt that he's just on business in Colorado. Another lie. Okay, so he's lied to Kurt before, but it's mostly to get him to just calm down, or stop doing something stupid. He's never _intentionally _held something from him… especially something this big. This monumental. For the most part, he's holding it together, but right now… he just needs a shower. Maybe the warm water will clear his mind. Kurt, on the other hand, is standing in front of his bed, deciding whether or not he's going to need to over pack, or under pack, because you never know… and it is New York. If Rachel looks better than him… well of course she won't, but she'll try. He's about to throw some pants into the case on his bed, when he's distracted by the colour red underneath Nick's bed. Christmas was almost three weeks ago, and he's surprised that the boy still has unwrapped presents under his bed. Regardless, Kurt is curious. Not curious enough to open the presents… god no, he's not that kind of person… but just curious enough to wonder. He is broken out of these thoughts by Blaine and Jeff. Something seems off about Jeff, he's been avoiding eye contact with Kurt for the last week, and the countertenor has tried to talk about it, but both he and Nick just brush him off. It's frustrating.

* * *

When they arrive in the courtyard the next morning, waiting for Wes to "assemble them into line", Nick avoids Kurt. It's difficult, but he manages to do it, sitting behind the Twins on the bus with Jeff, who keeps shooting sad looks at Kurt, but not saying anything. Blaine has begun to notice as well, and brought it up to Nick before they got on the bus, but he just rebuffed the Lead Warbler. When they're on the plane, and there's nowhere to go, Blaine will confront him. He'll get out of Nick whatever is going on. Wes is giving them a speech on the way to the airport, and Miss Price, they're liaison, is driving, and attending National's with them. There has been speculation going around that one of the Warblers is in a relationship with the teacher, but Blaine knows the boys just like to talk and work up unimaginable scenarios in their heads. At least, he hopes it's not true. Regardless, Kurt is sitting beside him, running his hand up and down Blaine's thigh, and the shorter boy isn't aware if Kurt knows he's doing it, but it's massive distraction territory. He grabs Kurt's hand, and sees him smirk out the corner of his eye, just kissing his cheek in response. The countertenor is quiet on the way to the airport. He's never really been on a plane before, and his father wasn't home last night as the usual time they call, Finn had said something about him going to Colorado, and leaving his cell. It's distracting to Kurt, because his father wouldn't just up and leave without contacting him. Nick has been avoiding him too, and he's wondering how long it will be before the other shoe drops, and Blaine ends up realising that he's not worth sticking around for. Then something, a flash of a memory of his mother driving fast through the street flashes through his head, and he closes his eyes, shaking the memory away, before looking over at his boyfriend to see if he noticed, and thankful that he's engaged in a heated debate with Sebastian and Ian over which gaming console is better. Kurt just sits quietly, listening.

The airport isn't as crowded as he imagines JFK will be. They manage to check their bags, and get their tickets and go through customs without much hassle. Wes had taken charge once again, getting the Warblers to sit nicely in the waiting area until their flight was called, checking all their names off a list. Kurt just smirked at the Head Warbler when his name was called, watching Wes look away before clearing his throat and moving on. Riker chuckled beside him, and praised Kurt for being able to scare the shit out of Wes with a simple smirk. Kurt grinned brightly, and fist-bumped the other boy, sending a wink to Blaine who was sitting with Sebastian and Ian, looking bored. He'd been lucky with his ticket. He and Blaine had managed to get seats beside one another, and Nick and Jeff behind them. He's finally going to get the chance to ask his best-friend why he's been avoiding him for the last week or so. Just as they line up to board the plane (seriously watching like twenty Warblers all bouncing around excitedly is hilarious), Kurt got a text from Rachel, with a winky face and a message that simply read: SEE YOU AT NATIONALS XX. He smiled, and replied with a wink and cheeky face, before returning his phone to his pocket, and taking Blaine's hand. You would think, having not been on a plane before, that Kurt would be nervous. Nope. In fact, it's Nick and Blaine that are nervous. So nervous, that they jump when the speaker in the cabin comes on and the captain welcomes them to the flight. Kurt just takes Blaine's hand, and Jeff takes Nick's and for a moment, the two best friend's share eye contact, and something akin to pain and hurt flashes through Nick's eyes, but it's gone as quick as it came. Kurt goes to question it, but the flight attendants are starting the safety talk and he doesn't get the chance.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_They decided they wanted to be pirates for the day, and Nick's mother was good at making costumes, so she had made them pirate outfits, and they built a fort in the backyard. When Burt came over to pick Kurt up, he was surprised to see the detail that Mandy had gone to , and thanked her for amusing Kurt for the day. She told him it was no trouble, and then he saw Kurt, eight years old, chasing Nick around the backyard with a wooden sword, and he melted. Allowing himself to sit down at the dining room table that overlooked the backyard, he just watched the two boys, playing happily. Mandy and Tad, Mandy's husband, joined him, each with a drink, the men a beer and Mandy a juice, just watching their children playing happily. Kurt giggled when Nick knocked him down and called for him to surrender, pretending to kill him with his wooden sword, before claiming the fort as 'CAPTAIN NICK'S KINGDOM', and raising the flag they'd suspended on the clothes line. The adults clapped, and Kurt and Nick joined hands, and bowed, before running over to them. Burt wanted Kurt to stay young and free like this forever. He didn't want him to grow up, and one day discover the truth about his mother, that she ran away, abandoned him. He wants Nick to always win their battle and climb to the top of the fort, and shout to the world that he's won. Kurt, still dressed like a pirate, pretends to stab his father, and then laughs when Burt "dies", before giving Kurt a five second warning, and chasing him around the backyard trying to tickle him. Kurt wriggled around on the ground, laughing and trying to get his dad to stop, but Burt just raised the flag and took the fort from Nick, pretending to stab him with the sword, both boys giggling when Nick fell to the ground sighing in defeat. Mandy and Tad clapped, and Burt bowed, thanking the crowd._

'_Thank you, I'm here till Thursday, try the veal' Burt said, picking his son up and flinging him over his shoulder, carrying him inside_

'_Thanks for coming over Kurt. I'll see you tomorrow,' Nick said, as Burt buckled his son into the car, and Kurt nodded enthusiastically_

'_See you tomorrow,' Kurt replied, thanking Mandy and Tad who just waved, as Burt pulled out the drive, looking over at his son asleep in the seat beside him_

'_Stay young for as long as you can Kurt,' he whispered, more to himself than the sleeping boy beside him_

* * *

When Rachel realised that the Warblers were staying at the same hotel as the New Directions, she made herself known to the private school boys, most of whom crowded behind Kurt, scared for their lives, of the short brunette girl. Kurt rolled his eyes, both at his classmates and Rachel, who began ranting about how this was a conspiracy, until she saw that all the competitors were staying in the same location, and it wasn't something orchestrated by Sue, to try and destroy Will again. Kurt told her to relax, that they would do fine, so long as the Warblers don't kick their buts, and turned to go back to his room. Finn would no doubt be a little miffed that Kurt didn't say hi, but he doesn't want to get caught "selling secrets" no that he would, but Wes would do anything to accuse someone. They met in their designated rehearsal room on the third floor, and began going over their routines. He and Nick had managed to get back to their normal friendship, laughing and exchanging stupid texts. Blaine was thrilled, not that he minded being with his boyfriend, but Kurt seems more… Kurt when he and Nick are talking to one another. He's still determined to get to the bottom of what's going on, but now isn't the right time, especially because it's almost seven pm and they're tired and hungry. David points this out to Wes, who reluctantly adjourns them for the night, telling them to meet back here at five am sharp, for morning rehearsals, before their ten am time slot performance. They're following the New Directions, which Rachel will be happy about, but Kurt doesn't care. He'll get to see them perform, that's what he's happy about, he just wants to see his brother and friends from McKinley perform. Regardless if they're the competition. Their friendships are more important. They disperse from the room, some heading down to the buffet in the hotel restaurant, others going back to their rooms for room service. Kurt, Blaine, Nick and Jeff decide to hit the streets, and find a nice place to have dinner, instead of hanging around the hotel like losers (Wes doesn't take kindly to be labelled as that, but the four just laugh and walk off). Blaine manages to find a nice little restaurant just a couple of blocks from their hotel, and is amazed that they can get seats without a reservation. Kurt takes note of the food prices, before looking to Nick who just nods comfortingly, and then gestures to Blaine, who looks over at Kurt, kisses his cheek, and tells him that he'll get it, and Kurt can get their lunch tomorrow. The countertenor doesn't like it, but smiles and says thank you regardless. He's not in the mood for a fight about Blaine coming from money, and him not really. Besides, college is their chance to find out what it's like to be the "broke college students" when they head off in September. In April, three months away, they find out what colleges they got into, but that isn't stopping Nick and Jeff from checking out NYU and Columbia's campuses while they're here. Kurt thinks it's a good idea for Blaine to check them out, if he can't get into the music program at Harvard, at least there are plenty of performing arts schools in New York that he could attend.

Over dinner, they go off into their own conversations, and Blaine brings up a topic they've been trying to avoid… the possibility of not being together when college starts. Kurt is looking at him, trying to tell him with his expression that he _really _doesn't want to talk about this, but Blaine is oblivious, just going on about how they're going to make this work if Kurt gets into Harvard and he doesn't. _He's really trying to push this whole highschool romances don't last thing… _Kurt thought, taking Blaine's hand to stop him rambling. He's right, they need to talk about it, and taking a deep breathe, Kurt looks over at Blaine, and tells him that no matter how far apart they are, they can still be together. He then makes sure to point out that Massachusetts, is only a one hour flight, and three hour drive. Blaine gives him an incredulous look, stating that the three hour drive and flying each week is going to be tiring. Kurt just gapes at him, and he feels as though the whole room is listening to their conversation. He doesn't stop, standing and leaving the restaurant, Blaine hands Nick his card, and chases after his boyfriend. That's not what he meant, he just meant that it isn't fair they should have to do that, they should both be in the same place. But sometimes, you don't get into the same school, and Blaine know they're meant to be together, Kurt knows it too, he just doesn't know how they're going to manage if they're three hours apart. Kurt is speed walking back to the hotel, almost at the entrance when Blaine catches up to him, grabbing his hand, and pulling him into a hug. He whispers in Kurt's ear that no matter how far apart they are, they'll always be together. Kurt believes him, he knows he over reacted, and promises Blaine that they can talk about it more upstairs, but Blaine, of course, waggles his eyebrows, and Kurt smirks, winking and sauntering off, leaving Blaine speechless, but chasing after him again, pinning him to the wall of the elevator.

* * *

_Left right, left right, double left, double right… _these are the words that are going through his mind as the Warblers take their place on the stage at National's. Of course, the New Directions had led with a power ballad, sung by Rachel, with the others backing, and then broke out into their group rendition, of the _American Authors _song _The Best Day of My Life. _Wes had praised their choice of group number, but noted that _Uptown Funk, _done by the Warblers, is going to be epically awesome. Kurt just rolled his eyes, but agreed when he saw the footage at their rehearsal, from the video that Riker and Lachlan had taken so they could "see their flaws" as Wes called it. Regardless, he's in the world of remembering the steps, when the curtains open, and the Warblers start with their first song, _Sugar _by Maroon 5. It wasn't their first choice, but it's the best song for their set, and Blaine seems to be able to really kill it. Literally, he blew the teacher away the first time he just sung it normally, and Wes used it against him for their National's number. Reluctantly, he'd agreed. The curtains opened and the acapella started, Kurt moving in unison with the beat, eyes completely focused in front of him. If he looks at Blaine, he'll just melt into a puddle of gooey eyes and screw everything up. They had the crowd moving in their seats, and out the corner of his eye, Kurt could see the New Directions dancing and singing along. He smiled. This is what today is about. Sharing a moment with your friends, no matter the outcome. When they finish their first number, and arrange themselves for the second one, Kurt hears Finn and Puck cheering the loudest for them, the cheers from the others drowned out by the crowd. Sending a quick wink to Blaine, Kurt begins the song.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_He was beyond nervous. He'd only been at Dalton for six months, and he and Blaine have only been together for like, a day. This is their first date, their first official one as boyfriends. Rachel, Mercedes, and Nick were gathered around him, fixing his tie, his hair, his shirt, and chatting about how exciting and cute it is that they're finally going out. Nick patted his best-friend's shoulder, and told Kurt that Blaine had been in love with him since the first moment they'd met, leading to Kurt scoffing, but sporting a small smile. Regardless, when the doorbell rang, and Finn shouted that he'd get it, Nick sprinted out of the room, to try and save Blaine from the tall quarterback, who would no doubt be threatening the boy as they speak. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Burt, Finn and Carole were standing in front of a very calm looking Blaine, who just happily chatted to them, ignoring the glare from Finn and the menacing, but amused, smirk from Burt. When Kurt finally descended the stairs, leaving Blaine gaping… because come on… he's HOT! Blaine shook this from his mind, not really wanting to give Mr Hummel a reason to shoot him before he's even gone out with Kurt, and smiled happily, Kurt just grabbing his wallet, keys, jacket and following Blaine out of the house, ignoring Nick and Mercedes' demands to know what goes on… in detail, as he climbed into Blaine's car. There wasn't much discussion between the two boys on the way to the restaurant, but Blaine headed towards Westerville, and Kurt wanted to know where they were going, but didn't ask. He's never really been on a date-date before. Sure, he's be _out _but never like this. Not with someone he thinks he could have more than just 'I like you' feelings for. _

_Blaine pulls up outside of Capella's, named for the Dalton Academy Warblers. Graham's mother owns the shop. Graham is in the Warblers, and is a junior, so he's going to be taking over the reins next year… well he will be if Thad and Wes get their way. Most of the other Warblers, are seniors, so they're all leaving at the end of the year. Kurt has never been here, but he hears the other Warbler's talk about it often, and is excited, especially when Blaine grabs his hand and pulls him into the restaurant, over to the reception, saying nothing but his last name, before a waiter comes to take them to a table, rather secluded, at the far end of the room. It's not hidden, but it's not overly in the public eye either. He's being cautious, and Kurt likes that. He just kisses Blaine's cheek, and smiles at the blush that appears, before sitting down opposite the Lead Warbler. They talk about everything. Blaine asks Kurt how being at Dalton is going, and if he's enjoying the Warblers, then he tells stories about Nick, Jeff and the others, that Kurt makes himself remember, if to use them against his friends one day. They don't stray too far into anything dark, and Kurt doesn't mention anything like that at all. He talks about his dad and Carole getting married, and how Finn is going to be his brother, and he's a good brother already, even though he's an idiot sometimes. Blaine just comments on how protective Finn is of him, and Kurt promises that Finn isn't always like that… but the McKinley quarterback knows the truth about his past, and he's just worried. Kurt can understand… well kind of. Graham is their server for the night, because he's on lookout, stationed here by Wes, and he just happened to be working. Wes wanted him to "document Klaine in all its glory", and Kurt blushed at the fact that they've only been together a day, and already, the Warbler's have given them a couple name. Blaine just laughs, raises his glass of champagne (shh no one needs to know *wink*), and dubs them "Klaine". Kurt joins him, clinking glasses, and smiling. They ate, and talked and laughed, and when they finally left the restaurant, and got back to Kurt's house in Lima, Blaine was nervous. Kurt just kissed him softly, thanked him for an amazing night, and promised to see him at school on Monday. Blaine skipped back to his car… literally skipped. _

* * *

They didn't win National's, they came second the New Directions. Kurt wasn't that choked up about it, but Wes was taking it harder than most of them. They were at a post-National's party, being held in the ballroom, which was attended by the New Directions and Warblers. Their teachers were nowhere to be seen, and somehow… he doesn't want to know how, but somehow, Puck had gotten his hands on some alcohol. Needless to say, Nick was already half drunk, as were most of the other Warblers, and a few of the ND girls. Finn was slurring his words as he talked to Kurt, before chuckling and admitting that he thinks he's going to go to bed. Kurt and Blaine walk Finn back to his room, (so that Schuester doesn't find him like this), and then decide to go back to the party for a while. Nick and Jeff are making out in a corner when they return, but Kurt pulls Blaine into a less populated area of the room, and kisses him, before pulling something from his pocket, and placing it in Blaine's open hand. They stand there in silence, before the countertenor explains that it isn't an engagement ring, it's a promise ring, that no matter how far apart they are, somehow they'll find their way back to one another. Blaine just kisses him, and whispers that he'll meet Kurt upstairs, winking, and Kurt grabs an unopened bottle of champagne, before winking and heading to the elevator. He's about to follow when Nick clamps on to his arm, and changes everything…

'I know w-where K-Kurt's mother is. She's been l-l-living in Colorado all this time. It's been about f-four weeks since B-Burt t-t-told me. Shhhh, don't tell Kurt,'

'Nick, what the fuck are you talking about? Are you telling me, that for the last four weeks, you've known where Kurt's mother is, and you haven't told him?'

'Please Blaine… please don't tell him. Burt doesn't want him to run off and try and find her. Please Blaine…' Nick says, before running to the bathroom, apparently to vomit, Jeff close behind him

'Shit…' Blaine says, rubbing his hands over his face, finding an empty chair and sitting down, head in his hands…. _Shit fuck shit_!

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Kurt sat on the floor of the bathroom. He's twelve years old, and he has no idea about the feelings he's having. He didn't expect to feel that way about anyone… especially a boy. It scares him. On top of everything else he's going through, sitting here, with a razor in his hand is almost comforting. It shouldn't be, he knows this, somewhere in the back of his mind. The twelve year old in him wants to act like this is some kind of stupid thing that just floated into his head. He's twelve, he can't know that he's gay. He can't know that, not for sure. Maybe it's a passing thing? But he knows it's not, because he doesn't see girls the same way. He imagines having sex with a girl, and it doesn't seem appealing to him in any manner. He's twelve, but still. His father is out, and Nick is at his house, and everyone else is out, running around in the summer sun, but he's sitting on the floor of the bathroom, contemplating whether living through the inevitable pain, that he knows is going to come as he gets older, and begins to experiment with guys, is worth tolerating. He's the reason his mother left after all. Maybe she did it because he's gay. Maybe she did it because she would grow to be ashamed of him. Regardless, he puts the razor to his wrists, closes his eyes, and lets it glide across the skin, watching the red liquid seep from the cut, drop onto the floor, and it feels good. He doesn't feel pain anymore. He feels free. He hears the front door open, and his father call his name, and as quickly as he can, he wraps his arm, cleans the blood, and pulls his sleeve down over the white gauze now dressing his wrist, but he feels different, lighter almost, and for the first time in a while, he smiles at his father, who smiles back… _

* * *

Nick is snoring in the bed beside him when Kurt wakes in the morning, seeing eleven texts from Blaine stating that he had to help an overly drunk Wes back to his room, and the wasn't allowed to leave. Kurt sends back a reply, to say that it's okay, he fell asleep anyway, and gets up to shower. He's oblivious to the information that three of the Warblers, and his father now knows. He's oblivious to the information that would give him the answers he's been wanting for the last thirteen years, and he's oblivious to the sudden desire to desperately get back to Westerville to see his father and ask him why he suddenly disappeared. He did ring last night, and apologised that he and Carole couldn't be there, but he didn't ask what he wanted to know… he didn't ask the real question, and somehow, even if he did, he knows he probably wouldn't get the answer he's looking for. Kurt showers, and when he leaves the bathroom, fully dressed, and preparing to pack his bags for their flight back home, he spots Nick, sitting up in bed, hair sticking up all over the place, rubbing his eyes, which widen when he remembers the events of last night. He looks up at Kurt, who just smirks and talks loudly, which makes him cringe, and throw a pillow. They're back to normal… but there is an earthquake under the surface, and it's bubbling up… preparing to explode.

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: As April fast approaches, and college acceptances on the way, the Warblers throw a giant week of festivities to start saying goodbye to the seniors. Nick and Blaine continue to ignore one another, and Kurt and Jeff feel the pull from it. Wes hands the reigns of Head Warbler over to his predecessor, Graham Tanner, who accepts it with grace. The New Directions call for the Warblers to attend Santana's "senior's bash/sleepover" at her house, and shenanigan ensue. Kurt, Blaine and the Senior Warblers and New Directions find out what colleges they got into, and loyalties are tested, when Kurt announces to his best-friend, brother, parents and boyfriend, that he's taking time off in the summer to find his mother. Burt admits that he's known for a while where she is, and feeling betrayed, Kurt takes off. Flashbacks include: The moment Blaine realised he's in love with Kurt, Kurt's first day of preschool, New Direction's first sleepover, and Mercedes and Kurt's spectacular outing. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	8. Under the Surface

**A/N: So, I know it's late. But I had an acute case of writers block, and then time just got away from me. I've been working alot this week, so I just didn't get a chance to sit down and write. But, here it is now. Chapter Eight. This one is a little bit longer than the others... not that you can really tell, but I had to get everything in this chapter, so that the next one could be set up differently. If you would like a full list of all the colleges that ND and the Warblers got into, let me know in the reviews, and I will post one as an extra part of the next chapter. Thank you to all of you who reviewed, and favourited and followed, and hello to all the new readers. I hope you enjoy. Read and Review. Thanks. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Under the Surface**

It had started as a stupid suggestion by Thad and David, that the Warblers would throw a week of festivities for the school to start saying goodbye to the senior students. Kurt had been working so hard to stay out of the conversation, but the tension between Blaine and Nick had pushed him into attending the meetings, if not to get over the silence and obvious anger in the room. Something was going on, and for once, he doesn't want to know what it is. Blaine shoots him puppy dog eyes whenever he's looking at him and his guard is down, and it usually ends with them curled up, naked, in Blaine's bed in his dorm room whilst Jeff is out. They've had so much sex in the last two weeks, Kurt thinks they might have broken some record. Not that he's complaining… but he's complaining. He needs a break from the sex, and he needs Blaine and Nick to talk again, because he can't live without both of them in his life. Regardless of their problems, Nick doesn't seem to have any problem talking to Kurt. It's just when Blaine is in the same room, or sitting beside him. Jeff is also frustrated that his boyfriend isn't talking to Blaine, and he knows why. He knows what they're hiding, and yet, he's able to put it all aside and be friends with everyone. Which is why Kurt and Jeff are currently quizzing each other on questions for their upcoming finals, and why they're ignoring the blatantly obvious tensions between all the Warblers. Wes is shouting about the senior festivities, and how he's not ready to hand over the reins of Head Warbler, but David is beside him, and slaps him over the back of the head, before taking his megaphone and returning to the bedroom. Wes just pouts, and moves over to where Kurt and Jeff are studying, sitting beside the countertenor, and pouting. Jeff makes a note to himself to find out what's going on between all of the Warblers, and their Lead Singer, before throwing a scrunched up piece of paper at Kurt, who was off in his own little world. Kurt raises an eyebrow at him, smirking before picking up his book and flipping through it.

The ceremony for the handover of Wes' role of Head Warbler is being held at the end of next week, when they officially finish their duties as Warblers. Kurt knows the guy who is taking over, Graham Tanner. He's a junior next year, or a sophomore this year, and he's almost like Wes, but a little more mature. He's not a bad guy. They've only gotten to know him over the last few months, because he filled in for one of the freshmen Warblers who dropped out at the beginning of the year. He was chosen by Miss Price, and Thad, who promised Wes that he would find someone who could carry the responsibilities of the Head Warbler, and make them an institution. When the other Warblers heard about this, there was an uproar, but any bad natured comments have been filtered out by now. It's only when Wes barges into his dorm room whilst he's studying with Blaine, that Kurt gets drawn into the politics of Dalton and the Warbler Council, which up until now, he's remained neutral to. Blaine listens with a grin on his face as Wes asks Kurt to write him a speech that doesn't disgrace him, and doesn't make him look like an idiot. The countertenor smirks, and looks at Blaine, before they both burst out laughing, sending Wes off in a rage. He returns about twenty minutes later with Nick, Jeff and David, who plead with Kurt to do it, so he'll shut up about it and leave them to study. Nick and Jeff are whispering quietly to one another, and Blaine isn't laughing anymore. In fact, Kurt swears he sees his best-friend and his boyfriend glaring at one another, before Nick storms out of the room, complaining about Wes' insolence. Kurt promises the soon-to-be former Head Warbler that he'll write the speech, before chasing after Nick. Blaine is left to deal with David and Wes, who just talk to the tenor as he's trying to work, and whilst he's ignoring the sting from Kurt going after Nick (not that he expected anything less from his boyfriend), it still hurts.

* * *

Kurt finds Nick sitting in the courtyard, leaning against the maple tree, staring out over the mass of lawn that covers almost the entire of the Worthington House courtyard, and leads towards the Main Hall. He sits down beside his best friend, and bumps their shoulders together, causing Nick to look over at him, pain in his eyes, and tears threatening to overflow. Kurt silently asks him what's wrong, and Nick wants to tell him. He really _really _does. But he knows that he can't… he can't and it kills him that he can't. So he lies. Again. He tells Kurt that he's worried about not getting into his first choice college, and that he and Jeff won't last after highschool, and just like old times, Kurt puts everything into perspective. It kills Nick that he's betraying his best friend. He's one of the only people Kurt trusts completely, and he knows, that when this comes out, it's going to be the end of all the trust they've worked thirteen years to build. But they're laughing all of a sudden, about a memory of the time they were playing in Nick's backyard, and they were muddy as all hell because it had been raining and the dirt had been completely turned mud like. They pretended they were mud monsters, and Nick's mother threatened to squirt them with the hose if they came in _or near _the house. So they rolled around outside, and laughing and chuckled, and part of Nick wishes they could just do that again, find a mud pile and roll around in it, chase each other with piles of mud, and threaten to spray one another with the hose should they come near the common house. Everything, for a second, is normal. He's not hiding this big thing from Kurt, and he's not fighting with Blaine about it. Everything is the way it should be… until Wes shows up with some of the Warblers who have "sensed the tension and chosen sides", and everything is shit again.

'Okay, that's it. What the fuck is going on?' Kurt asked, standing as Nick stopped laughing and turned away

'I don't know. There's tension in the group and we just chose a side. It's better than being caught in the crossfire,' Sebastian said

'Whatever the fuck is going on between you and Blaine and Jeff… needs to stop. I'm sick of not having my best-friend and boyfriend talking and being in the same room. I can't do that Nick. So whatever it is, work it the fuck out,' Kurt said, turning to walk off

'You know he's right Nick. You and Blaine have to get past whatever this is,' Sebastian said, and Ian and Riker nodded in agreeance… Nick sighed… _this should be a blast… _he thought

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Kurt's First Day of Preschool**

_Burt had dressed Kurt in a pair of dark denim pants, and a blue polo shirt, with a black sweater over the top. He had packed a lunch, and put it in Kurt's little bag, and prepared a list of numbers for the teacher. He and Mandy were both nervous about sending Nick and Kurt to preschool, but because they managed to get them in the same class, they're a little happy. At least Kurt will know one person there. Today, is Kurt's first day of preschool. Usually, it would be both parents dropping off their children, but when Burt showed up, alone, to drop Kurt off, the teacher, Mrs Lawson looked at him strangely. He didn't explain, just handed Kurt his bag, knelt down to his height, pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, and hugged him tightly, whispering that he would be back at three to pick him up. Nick smiled at his best-friend from where he was seated, and Kurt smiled a little, hanging his bag on the hook under his name, before taking a seat beside Nick, and another girl, whose name was Mercedes Jones. Burt and Mandy watched as the boys settled in, and then headed back out of the classroom. They had been talking about this moment, and Mandy was afraid to bring up Elizabeth, for the sake of argument. She and her husband, Tad, had talked about it, and how it would affect Kurt, but she couldn't bring herself to let Burt know anything they had been saying. Regardless, the man thanked her, and said he'd see her later when they pick their kids up, before walking back over to his car, and climbing in, driving off towards the shop. The whole day he would spending worrying about his son._

_Kurt, on the other hand, was excited to be in preschool. He didn't think it would be as exciting as it is, but they get to do lots of things. Drawing, colouring, and they have some free time where they can do whatever they like. They also learn, the alphabet and sometimes tables, and he spends recess and lunch with Nick and Mercedes, playing on the play equipment, listening to Mercedes sing, commenting that he has a cool voice, because he's five and doesn't know any other words, but he heard his father say it once in reference to something so he knows it must be a good thing. He and Nick decide that they're going to head inside and eat their lunch. Some of the other kids are talking about their parents, and Nick joins the conversation. Kurt just listens to them, he doesn't say much, but when he's asked about his mother, he just stands and moves over to the colouring table. Nick smiles at him and Kurt smiles back, grabbing a crayon from the packet and some paper. He's going to draw a picture for his father to tell him that he loves him, and maybe one day, he'll ask about his mommy. Mercedes was colouring beside him, telling him in detail that she's going to draw a dress and princess for her mother, and a dragon for her father. Kurt grins and goes back to his own drawing. He's only five, but he misses his mother and father, and he wants them both to be home when he gets there. This is the wish he makes every night. That his mother will be home when he gets there. Kurt finished his first day of preschool, excitedly running to greet his waiting father. Nick hugs him, before following his own parents to the car, where the Duval's farewell his and Burt. Kurt spends the whole ride home, excitedly telling his father, in detail, about the day he had. Burt just grins, happy that Kurt can be excited about something again._

* * *

Nick fell back onto his bed in the dorm room, listening to Kurt chatter on about the Senior Festivities that Wes is organising. He makes noises in agreement, or disagreement every now and then to show he's listening, even though his mind is a million miles away. Kurt mentions that Santana has invited all of the Warblers to the New Directions/Senior sleepover. Nick sits up and looks at his best-friend, before grinning wickedly. He knows that Wes wouldn't turn down an offer to attend a New Directions party, especially considering all the amazing things that Kurt tells them about. It's the first time in almost three weeks that Kurt has seen Nick perk up like that, and when he leaves the room, shouting that he has to tell Jeff, Kurt just stares after the now retreating figure of his best-friend. He just shrugs and starts to clean up his side of the room, which works fine, until five Warblers, led by Nick, arrive in the dorm to ask Kurt detailed questions about what goes on at a New Directions sleepover, to which he blatantly answers that if they want to know, they'll have to show up. Wes agrees that this sleepover will be a part of their own festivities, and that in return, they can sneak the New Directions into Dalton/Worthington House, and have a massive game of Warbler and Seek (apparently a new term for Hide and Seek, coined by Wes and David in their Freshmen Year). When the five Warblers are satisfied with the answers, they announce that they're going to share it with the rest of the house (meaning they'll shout it to everyone in the common room), and run off, leaving on Nick, Blaine and Sebastian standing in the doorway chatting. Kurt is glad that Nick, Blaine and Jeff finally got over whatever the fuck was going on with them, because he's sick of not being able to have them all together in one room, and he's sick of secrets.

It begins on Friday night of the following week. By seven thirty, all of the Warblers and the New Directions are happily conversing in the basement of Santana's parents' house in Lima Heights. Rachel has commanded the services of a karaoke bar and Sam and Puck are "DJ-ing". Kurt, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff are the last ones to arrive, because Jeff insisted on driving and wouldn't listen to Kurt's directions or the navigator, so they got lost. Regardless, they're here now, and Santana greets them excitedly, explaining that she has set up a place for them to all sleep, but she's put Kurt, Blaine and Nick and Jeff upstairs in the guest room, instead of down in the basement with the others. Thanking the Latina girl, Blaine takes their stuff up to the guest room, taking a moment for himself, before heading back downstairs, and running straight into Finn, who had luckily put the drinks he was carrying on the table down, before Blaine barged into him. He apologised to his boyfriend's brother, and was surprised when Artie and Finn started a conversation with him, that wasn't threatening or coerced. He joined in happily, glancing at Kurt across the other side of the room, talking to Quinn, Mercedes and Tina, probably about their outfits, by the way they're spinning around, and holding out their arms. He can tell that Kurt's only playing along, he doesn't really care about clothing. Every now and then he'll make a comment about how someone is a _sin to fashion _but other than that, he's not really that into fashion… well not like Jeff is anyway from the looks of things… The Warblers break out of their groups to talk to the New Directions, and they're out of their stuffy uniforms, which Sam points out in classic Sam fashion. Kurt is leaning against the far wall, close to the stage, but far enough away so that if Rachel should fall from where she is balancing, he can catch her, and manoeuvre her out of harm's way. The way the light from the window caressed Kurt's face, made Blaine remember the moment he fell in love with Kurt…

* * *

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**Blaine realises he's in love with Kurt**_

_They've been together almost four months. Blaine had been trying to find an appropriate time to tell Kurt about his feelings, and had confided in Nick, but it hadn't boosted in confidence when the boy told him that he needs to be absolutely sure about it, because once he says it, he can't take it back, and that he shouldn't expect Kurt to reply. He was about to ask why, when said boyfriend walked into the room, smiling happily when he saw Nick and Blaine. Kurt walked over to his boyfriend, kissed him on the cheek, and moved over to his desk, putting his books down, before turning around, missing the inflection in Nick's eyes, as he made his way to his side of the dorm. Blaine didn't know what to expect now, or if he could even do what he had planned to. That night, Wes was throwing a Warbler sleepover in the common room, and reluctantly (meaning with persuasion that Nick would clean the dorm in his place for the next three days), Kurt decided to attend. He'd never been one for these sleepover, even when he was back at McKinley at the New Directions ones. Of course, when Finn had them at their house, he had to be there, but when they were at Rachel's or Mercedes', he would make up some excuse not to go, and now… he can see why. The Warblers are spread out in one long worm like figure on the floor, sleeping bags covering their faces, or pulled up to their chins, whilst some god awful movie played on the large screen television in front of them. Kurt opted for the couch, making space for him and Blaine, nodding to Nick who moved off to sit with his own boyfriend on the floor. The large windows from the common room let in the moonlight, or the light that just generally comes from the shining of the stars, and when they plunged the room into darkness for the movie, that light glowed on Kurt's skin, and it made him look… beautiful. Everything inside of Blaine came alive in that moment, and he had to tell Kurt… so he did…_

'_I love you,' he whispered in the countertenor's ear, seeing the outline of his head shoot around to look at him, but he could clearly see his eyes_

'_I love you too Blaine,' Kurt replied in a quiet whisper, so quiet he almost missed it, but he didn't, leaning over to kiss Kurt passionately, ignoring the wolf-whistles and hoots from the other Warblers, and definitely ignoring the movie._

* * *

By nine, the alcohol had been brought out by Santana. Kurt leaned in to whisper to Blaine that this isn't going to end well, before getting an earful from Mercedes and Tina about not joining in on the fun. Blaine was looking around the room at the flowing drinks and when Kurt saw Nick take one, he turned to his boyfriend and smiled, handing him a cup from the tray that Rachel was bringing around… although how she's still standing is beyond him. Blaine moved over to where some of the ND guys were setting up a COD tournament, and bet Wes that he could beat Finn and Sam. The Head Warbler agreed to the bet, making Kurt the chair master, to determine who wins, even though he really wanted to escape upstairs and call his father. He's only half an hour away from Lima, but he hasn't spoken to him since last week, and it's worrying. For the time being, Carole says he's way on business, but he's driven past the shop at least three times, and Burt has been there, chipping away at whatever car he's working on this week. This is why he doesn't like secrets. His father is hiding something from him, and whatever was going on between Nick, Jeff, Blaine and the Warblers last month has thrown him as well. The four people three people in the world, he expects to be the most honest, are hiding things from him, and it's left him wondering just what these things are. When the first COD match gets underway, it's Finn VS Blaine, and like they should, people have taken side. Some of ND are on Blaine's side, and some of the Warblers are on Finn's. It's hilarious to watch Rachel try to pick a side, but then just end up cheering for both of them, with Brittany and Santana at the back of the pack. She hasn't gotten up on the stage yet, which is surprising, but there is some kind of interpretive dance happening on one side of the room, that both Sebastian, Riker and the girls are very intrigued with.

At midnight, Santana breaks out the movies, (_because what normal group of people go to bed at midnight right… _Kurt thinks) and the relatively sober bunch (they had run out of alcohol, and even though Puck had offered to go get more, they just decided to use the sugar as a kind of buzz), moved into the lounge to spread around and watch movies. Kurt took this opportunity to sneak upstairs and go to bed, because to be honest, he's kind of made himself hate these parties. Not the people, just the parties in general. Santana notices him sneak off upstairs, and pushes Blaine in that direction, winking at the Lead Warbler, who grins stupidly at her, before tripping _up _the stairs, and sobering himself even more. Yes, he tripped _up _the stairs, and Wes will never let him forget. The Warblers began cheering when ND announced that they were throwing a pillow fight, and the girls were changing into their sleepwear. Kurt smirked, because he's seen what some of those girls wear to bed, and he knows the Warblers are going to be _very _disappointed. Regardless, Wes and David always win the Dalton pillow fights, usually by cheating, but they'll never admit it. Kurt is pulling on his sleep shirt when Blaine enters the room, closing the door as quietly as he can, before turning around and looking at Kurt, who has his arms cross, hip jutted out to one side, and eyebrow quirked in a manner that Blaine knows means he's in trouble, but he's still too intoxicated to care really. He stumbles towards Kurt, and giggles when he trips on his bag, and basically falls into Kurt, who stumbles back a little, but manages to maintain a grip on his boyfriend. He hears something crash downstairs, and then shouting and he laughs, because it's the Warblers prerogative to break everything they can. Then he hears Puck's laugh, and knows that Santana has scolded whomever it was. Kurt turns his attention back to Blaine, who is glaring at his shirt, and laughs, moving to help him.

'You know, you have beautiful eyes Kurt,' Blaine whispered, and he almost sounded sober… almost.

'Thank you Blaine, but we can discuss my beautiful eyes in the morning when you're sober. For now, just take you clothes off and change so you can sleep it off,' he replied, and Blaine waggled his eyebrows, making Kurt burst out laughing, as Blaine pulled on his pyjamas.

'I love you Kurtie… lots and lots,' he slurred, before falling into bed, and falling asleep straight away, Kurt rested his hand lightly on Blaine's cheek, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, before standing

'I know you love me Blaine… I have to find her,' he said, mostly to himself, as Blaine was already passed out, but the one thing he couldn't say out loud to their faces, he had finally said… he has to find his mother. He will find her.

* * *

It was the smell of bacon and eggs that woke most of the patrons from their sleep. Hangovers were evident on the faces of most of the attendees, and those who weren't hung over, like Kurt, Mercedes and Quinn, did their best to make those who were hungover, lives hell for the short time they have. When Blaine stumbled into the Lopez kitchen, he cringed when Wes shouted his name, and then ran over to him, yanking him by the arm, and pulling him over to where the majority of the group were sitting. It was like the administration knew that all the Warblers were together, but suddenly, at least fifteen cell phones beeped with notification of a text message. Kurt knew what they were, college acceptance letters had been sent to Dalton, and tomorrow, when they get back there, they'll receive them. This text, is letting them know that they've arrived, and waiting for them when they return to school tomorrow. Kurt doesn't check his phone, like he said he knows what it says, but his stomach begins to twist and the hot chocolate Quinn hands him suddenly feels heavy in his hands. Blaine whoops and causes the other Warblers to join in, and then everyone is talking excitedly about where they applied, and where they hope to be attending in the fall. Quinn tells Kurt that she applied to Yale, and got early acceptance, and the countertenor excitedly hugs her, and congratulates her, not missing the inflection in her eyes when he didn't reply with where he had applied. He has this thing about not jinxing himself, and even though they're here, he still worries he might not get in. besides, if he doesn't get in one place, there are always the other places no matter how far from Blaine they are…. Another text caught his eye when he pulled out his phone, it was one from his dad.

**TO: Kurt**

**Tomorrow night, you Blaine and Nick and Jeff come over to dinner. We'll hear where you all going in the fall. **

**FROM: Dad**

He was surprised. First, because his dad never usually texts him, and second, because he is actually contacting him, after nothing for a week. Kurt pockets his phone, after sending an okay in reply, then moves over to where Blaine is sitting, and hands him a glass of water and pain killer tablet, watching the 'innocent' grin spread across his face. He just smirked and patted Blaine's head, causing David and Wes to burst out laughing, calling him puppy. Blaine would make him pay for it later, but right now, he's more worried about getting them out of here without Santana coming up with another crazy shenanigan that involves them tormenting people in the neighbourhood, or going to visit Mr. Schuester, because honestly, that's a little strange, thirty or so eighteen year olds going to visit their teacher (or former teacher in Kurt's case). Rachel is the first person to bring up the idea of going to McKinley and versing one another in the auditorium. It still surprises Kurt, that Mr. Schuester leaves the choir room and auditorium open for them on weekends and after school, and better than that, Sue doesn't even care anymore. There have been a couple of times they've gone to McKinley and their sassy cheerleading coach is already waiting for them. Kurt is already pulled into the plan before he has a chance to protest, and the rest of the Warblers are pumped about finally getting to see the McKinley auditorium that Blaine, Nick and Kurt seem to love so much. Which is why, at nine, Kurt finds himself taking a seat in the stands, and watching Finn battle Wes in an AC/DC song that he wouldn't be caught dead listening to… It's amusing to watch though, his brother gets really into it, and it kind of scares Wes to the point where he isn't sure where to go after that.

* * *

The next night, at the Hudmel residence, the Duval's and the Hudmel's are standing around the lounge, whilst their children sit on the couch, almost like they're being scolded, but each of them holding envelopes in their hands with college acceptance letters. Finn looks between his mother and Burt, then proceeds to open the first envelope. He applied to several schools, but the one he really wanted to get into is UCLA. The first one Finn opened was to OSU, an acceptance. Burt was happy that he got accepted close to home, but Kurt could see the fake smile on his face, and he knew the parents could as well. Slowly, Finn opened the second envelope, and then was pulling Kurt in for a hug, stating that he got into UCLA's School of Theatre, Film and Television. Carole hugged her son, and Burt followed, then Finn excitedly began flipping through the book he'd received in the package. Kurt joked that he wasn't going to have to put up with him because he'll be in California, but Finn made them promise they'd come visit him. Kurt just raised his eyebrow, but grinned regardless. Next was Nick. Nick had only applied to three schools, Yale, Emerson and Harvard. The first envelope, from Yale was a rejection, as was the second from Harvard. Nick was worried, but needn't have been, because he got accepted to Emerson in Boston. Mandy had never shown much in the way of emotion in front of Burt, because she always thought she had to be strong, but she pulled her son into a hug, letting Tad wrap his arms around both of them, wiping her eyes and grabbing Nick's face, pressing a kiss to his forehead. It's his father's alma mater. Kurt stands to hug his best-friend. Blaine got into Harvard's School of Music, to which Burt almost crushed the boy in a hug. The Anderson's had made Blaine promise he would tell them the minute he got home, because they couldn't come to Lima to be here. Kurt was the last person to go, mostly because he is scared shitless. Burt had made him promise he would apply for more than one school, or at least have a couple of safety schools.

'Come on Kurt, there's isn't anything to be worried about. You can be a lawyer anywhere, and it doesn't matter where you get your education, as long as you're on the right path,' Nick replied as Kurt sat, holding the first envelope to Yale… it was a rejection, but it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would

'I don't know if I can open it,' Kurt said when he got to the one he really wanted… Harvard.

'Kurt, it doesn't matter if you go to school in California and Blaine goes to school in Cambridge. In the end, you'll be together. It doesn't matter if we don't go to the same school because we'll always be best-friends Kurt. Now open that envelope before I snatch it out of your hands and do it myself,' Nick said smirking, watching and waiting in anticipation as Kurt opened the envelope and pulled out the letter…. Kurt looked up at them, smirking

'I got into Harvard Law,' Kurt said, and they all cheered loudly, and Burt teared up… he'd never admit it, but he did at that moment. His son got into Harvard….

* * *

Dinner was spent chatting about schools and just everything. Finn was receiving texts from the rest of the New Directions about their acceptances and rejections, and reading them off as they came in. Of course, Rachel got into NYADA in New York, which made a shift in conversation as they tried to avoid the awkwardness that Kurt knew came with that subject. Finn had explained to them that he and Rachel have decided to amicably split before the end of senior year, and weren't together at the sleepover. Blaine pats his arms, and promises him that there are other girls out there… making sure to add 'not that I know' at the end, before everyone is breaking into laughter. Nick and Kurt announce that they already know where they're going to live, they have a small house picked out, which is halfway between Emerson and Harvard. Burt just smiles proudly as he listens to his kids talk about college. When the conversation dies down a little, Kurt stands up, saying that he has an announcement. Nick looks over at Blaine and Finn, then back to his best-friend, before glaring at Burt, who immediately knows what Kurt is about to say. The recent Harvard acceptant explains to the group, that after graduation, he's going to find Elizabeth. Nick doesn't remove his glare from Burt, who asks his son, in the calmest voice he can manage, how he expects to do that when he doesn't know where she is. He's surprised to hear that Kurt has a rough idea, and then the slip up that changes everything, he tells Kurt that he knows where she is… in a roundabout way, but it's enough. Kurt looks at him, realisation washing over him. Then the hurt and anger fills his eyes when he realises that Burt has known this whole time, and not told him. Kurt doesn't say anything, he just turns and leaves, Burt chasing after him, but Kurt has pulled out of the drive and is halfway down the road by the time he reaches the path.

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: Kurt drives and finds himself stopping at a park that he and Mercedes used to frequent when they were younger. Burt, Nick and Blaine frantically search for him, but it's someone else who finds the countertenor before everyone else. The New Directions are invited to Dalton, for the festivities that are still happening, and Kurt is named Valedictorian. Blaine gives Nick an ultimatum: either they all go with Kurt in the summer, or he'll tell Kurt everything. Jeff comes up with a basic plan that the four of them will spend June locating Elizabeth, and if they don't find her, that's the end of it. Graduation looms, and Burt makes another emotional plea to his son, to give up on the charade of finding his mother. On the eve of the Dalton graduation, Blaine and Kurt make one another a promise that no matter what happens, they'll stay together, and stay strong. The New Directions graduation is attended by the Warblers, and ends with a performance of EPIC proportions. Flashbacks include: New Direction's first sleepover, and Mercedes and Kurt's spectacular outing, Nick forces Kurt to get help after another episode at Dalton. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	9. The Road Ahead

**A/N: New chapter alert. Thank you so much for the reviews. I've gotten some really nice ones. I know who you are, and I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and the rest of the story. Slight mentions of some heavier topics. I think it's about to get good. But that's just the writer's opinion. I can't be bias about my own work. That, I will leave up to all you lovely people who are reading this, and my other stories. Hope you're having a good day/night depending on where you live. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: The Road Ahead**

He didn't know where he was going, he was just driving. The rain had started pouring down, but he didn't care. All he wants, is to get away from his father. He can't believe that Burt has been hiding information from his for thirteen years. How could he do that? Kurt has a right to know where the woman who abandoned him is living. Regardless of how Kurt would feel or act, he still deserves to know. Somewhere along the way, he finds himself stopping at a small park, just outside of Lima. It's a park that he and Mercedes used to frequent when they were little. He got out of the car, not caring that he would be drenched to the bone within a minute. He walked over to the park bench, and sat down, just staring at the play equipment. It only takes him a moment, but he knows that his phone is buzzing. It's probably going to be fucked when he pulls it out of his pocket anyway, and the only thing he has it for, is so that he can call his father. Besides, phones always let people know where you are. Except for Kurt. He wasn't allowed to track Elizabeth's cell phone, unlike his father who has been doing it since he was little… _Think logically Kurt. They're all worried about you… _he thought to himself, telling himself to get in the car and drive back home, but he doesn't. He stays glued to the chair, ignoring the buzzing in his pocket, and the rain. He doesn't feel the cold. To him, it's just a normal thing. For once, he can't bring himself to admit that he's going to be okay, because he honestly doesn't know how this is going to turn out. He could die of pneumonia and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Sure, they'd miss him for a couple of months, but then after that they'd all move on wouldn't they?

Burt calls everyone that he knows, and Blaine calls all of the New Directions. Mercedes and Santana tell him they'll go out looking in Lima, and Blaine thanks them, before running out to his own car, with Jeff and Finn, whilst Nick goes with Burt and Carole. Blaine heads towards Westerville, thinking that maybe Kurt would have gone back to Dalton. Finn has his head practically glued out the window, the rain pelting down around them doesn't seem to bother him all that much. Jeff is in contact with Nick, they're talking and wondering things, and he hears Jeff ask Nick where the most likely places are that Kurt would go. Nick tells them to head to Westerville, he and Burt are heading out of town, and the New Directions are going to drive around Lima. It was stupid, a stupid mistake on Burt's behalf that caused this to occur. It would have been fine, Kurt needn't have been the wiser, didn't need to know that Nick and Burt have information on his mother that they've been keeping from him. Everything would have been fine. _He has to be somewhere Blaine… _he keeps telling himself as they enter Westerville almost half an hour later. Nick receives three texts from some of the ND girls, stating that they're still looking. No one has eyes on Kurt, and that has him worried. There are only four places in Lima that Kurt would absolutely go to: the park, McKinley Auditorium, their old tree house, and Braverman Field. Burt is heading towards Braverman field, his face doesn't show any sign of distress, and Nick thinks he's trying to hold it together in front of them. His face, on the other hand, has signs of panic, and worry embedded on it. Even Carole grabs his shoulder and squeezes lightly in reassurance. It's almost impossible to see through the rain, but they're not giving up. Especially because Burt and Nick promised Kurt they would never give up.

* * *

It's Mercedes who finds Kurt. For some reason, she just had a feeling that she should head towards the park they always used to hang out at when they were little. She found her boo sitting on one of the benches, saturated. Her umbrella was fighting against the wind and rain, but she managed to get over to Kurt quickly enough, making sure she was standing so he was protected from the rain. He looked up at her, and without reluctance (which surprised her), he stood and followed her back to her car, under the umbrella. She had grabbed a bunch of towels before she ran out of her house, and handed them to Kurt, wrapping them around him frantically. Kurt didn't say much as Mercedes drove them back through the Lima streets to her house. She had been filled in by Nick on what was happening, but hadn't had the chance to text him and let them know that she has Kurt. When she pulled up in the driveway, she thought for a moment that Kurt would try and run again, but he just followed her inside. Mr and Mrs Jones helped Mercedes with Kurt, grabbing towels, and some spare clothes, and food. Mr Jones lit the fire, and smiled proudly at his daughter for being such a wonderful friend. Kurt, once he was showered, and in dry clothes, came back out to the den, and wrapped himself in the blanket Mercedes had retrieved for him, smiling at her, and letting the warmth from the fire embrace him. When Kurt is asleep, Mercedes pulls out her cell and calls Nick. He answered on the first ring, and she told him that she found Kurt that he won't be back tonight, they're having a sleepover, and then she hung up. _What is going through your mind white boy? _She wondered, grabbing her blanket and curling up on the mattress on the floor.

Kurt woke in the morning to Mercedes standing over him, holding a plate and glass of OJ. Reluctantly, he sat up, taking them from her, smiling as a thanks. He's not in the mood to talk right now, and if he starts, he knows he won't stop. Mercedes kisses his cheek, and then goes to have a shower. It's not that he's uncomfortable being in the Jones' house, he's been here plenty of times. It just that… he's wearing clothes that don't belong to him, and are a couple of sizes too big, and after everything he's put them all through, they're still helping him. He should call Blaine, but his phone is probably fucked to the shithouse, having been drenched with his clothes from last night. He's lost in thought, so lost, that he doesn't hear Mrs. Jones enter the room, until she's sitting in front of him. He jumps a little, startled, before looking up at her. The doorbell breaks them out of their staring match, and Kurt is able to stand, and take his glass and plate to the kitchen, where Mr Jones is sitting at the bench reading the paper. Neither of them say a word, just sharing a nod to acknowledge the other, and then Kurt leaves the room. He's about to go find Mercedes, when he's stopped in the hall by the appearance of Blaine, Nick and his father, who pulls him into a hug almost immediately. For the first time in a long time, Kurt doesn't hug him back, he just stands, stilted, arms dangling by his side. Nick is the next one to hug him, and Kurt relaxes a little, but it's Blaine who gets a proper hug, a hug so tight that he doesn't think Kurt will ever let him go. When he does, they remain holding hands. There is tension in the room, Mercedes even senses it when she returns to the group.

'We've been so worried Kurt. You shouldn't have taken off like that,' Burt said

'He didn't say much last night either,' Mercedes said when Kurt didn't reply to his father

'He hasn't spoken since last night? Kurt, tell us what's going through your mind. We can't help you unless you do,' Nick said, placing both hands on his best-friend's shoulders

'It's cold,' was all the countertenor said, following Blaine out to the car, not watching as Burt thanked the Jones' and Mercedes for their help.

* * *

A few days later, on Monday, Kurt, Blaine, Nick and Jeff are standing in the middle of their sports field, which is filled with stalls and jumping castles, and a stage in the centre. The New Directions and the Warblers are running around, shouting, going to the stalls, on the bouncing castle… everything that Wes and David had organised is being used, and the satisfied looks on their faces say everything they're thinking. Kurt didn't want to come to the 'Warbler Fair' and frankly he has better things to do. Things that involve him and Blaine, and small spaces… if you get what he means. Now, they're surrounded by everyone, and all he wants to do is run away from them all. They have two weeks left of school. Two weeks of Senior Year and then he can go and find his mother. He hasn't spoken to his dad since the incident three days ago, and he won't go and see the therapist, even though Nick has been threatening to tie him down and take him. Somehow, he always turns it into an innuendo, which leaves Kurt smirking and Nick red-faced. If Jeff is there, they both end up red-faced. Wes and the other Warblers announce that they need everyone to gather around the stage, because the faculty would like to announce some accolades, awards and who their class valedictorian is going to be. Against his better judgement, Kurt let Blaine lead him over to the gathering crowd in the middle of the field, and sat down on one of the chairs. Santana and Brittany were behind him, Finn on his right and Blaine on his left, the rest of ND scattered around in amongst the Warblers. They listened to the teachers talk, and give out some awards to the senior students, and welcome some of the freshmen, and officially inducted the new Head Warbler, to which Wes burst into tears and started clinging onto David. Kurt laughed with the others. Then when it came time to announce the senior class Valedictorian, everyone was silent.

When they announced that Kurt was valedictorian, he was shocked. He had come to Dalton as a mid-term transfer, and with everything that had gone on during his time here, he still managed to be at the top of his class. Finn pulled him into a hug, congratulating him, as the teachers dismissed them and everyone came over to congratulate Kurt and talk to them about Warblers and post-school life. Finn was sticking close to him, making up an excuse to go and see Puckerman when Rachel came over to him. Obviously, they haven't sorted out whatever is going on with them, because they're still avoiding one another. Kurt found himself actually starting to have some fun, when the ND girls 'kidnapped' him, and forced him to play some of the fair games, and rides with them. Blaine was snapping pictures of them, and trying to get ones of Kurt smiling, seeing as he hadn't done it much lately. Nick had found Kurt on Sunday morning in their bathroom, staring at the shards of glass that had been knocked out of the mirror, and Kurt's bleeding hand. Blaine knows everything now. He knows that Kurt takes anti-depressants, but even they don't seem to be helping right now. When he manages to escape the clutches of Santana and Quinn, he heads back to Worthington House alone, hoping to get in some last minute preparation before their "Sleepover". Kurt had never really known what it meant to have a sleepover until he attended one for the New Directions when he was sixteen. Mercedes was even nice enough to let him invite Nick, but he knew them all enough to be comfortable there without his best-friend, and besides, Nick had dates with Jeff all that night, so he couldn't ask him to give up time with his boyfriend. Kurt managed to get back to Worthington House and into his dorm before six pm, when the teachers would be doing room calls. He fell back on to his bed, and closed his eyes….

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**First New Direction's Sleepover**

_He was surprised when his father basically pushed him and Finn out the door on the night of the first New Direction's Sleepover. It's only because he doesn't know that Finn and Rachel are dating, and what usually happens at these sleepovers… well Kurt doesn't know firsthand, Finn usually regales him with stories. But tonight, he's decided to attend. He has to talk to Mercedes about Blaine anyway. He thinks the boy might like him, but he can't tell and his best girlfriend has always been good that deducing whether or not a guy likes them. Quinn's parents are away for the weekend, which is the only reason they're having the party at her house this time, and not at Rachel's where it usually is. If her father's ever knew what really went on at those things, they would ban them all from their house. Kurt just chuckles at the expression on Finn's face when he pictures that, and drives through the neighbourhood, until they get to a brick house, with cars strewn all around. Finn gets out first, grabbing their bags, and walking up to the door, but instead of knocking or ringing the bell like a normal person, shouts out something no one should ever say when surrounded by houses, most likely containing school children who shouldn't be hearing those things. Puck is the one who opens the door, fist bumping Finn, and Kurt, before inviting them in, and showing Finn where to dump their stuff. Downstairs, in the den/basement, Santana, Brittany, Artie, Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes, Mike, Puckerman, Sam, and Tina are gathered around on the floor, playing what looks to be monopoly. Kurt just stands back a little, watching the group. He's been so focused on being at Dalton, he's forgotten what their parties are usually like. He's here to have fun tonight. Nick made him promise that he would. _

_When they have finished their board game, Puck announces that he has scored some drinks for the evening, and runs upstairs to get them, whilst Quinn and the girls fuss over Kurt, and ask him about Dalton and if there are any single _straight _guys. He smirks, and tells them that there are plenty of guys, but he doesn't know how "straight" they are. Mercedes frowns at him playfully, before hugging him and watching as the girls and Puck set up their "Drinks" table. Kurt and Mercedes find a quiet corner, and sit down. He's been wanting to talk to Mercedes for a couple of weeks. He can't talk to Nick about this, because his best-friend is playing both sides. He's probably talking to Blaine about Kurt's feelings… if they are talking that is. Mercedes notices that he's away in his own world, and makes him focus back on their conversation by snapping her fingers. This makes Kurt chuckle, because she's so diva demanding, and unlike everyone else that it's good to be able to talk to her. They spend half-an hour chatting, and Mercedes convinces Kurt that he needs to talk to Blaine, find out if his feelings are returned, and stop using her and Nick as his go-between. For some reason, this makes him even more angry and confused. Not at Nick and Mercedes, just at himself for not being able to figure it out. Rachel hands him a cup with something in it, and he takes a sip, practically gagging on the drink, returning it to the table, and grabbing a bottle of water. Quinn smiled at him, knowing that he's not a big drinker. _How wrong she is… _Kurt thought, he could drink with the best of them… in fact he could out-drink them all if he wanted to. But tonight, he promised himself he wouldn't. He has to go back to Dalton in the morning, and if he's intoxicated, he'll never get passed security. So he watches his friends as they slowly become more and more inebriated throughout the night. It's funny. He and Quinn are the only sober ones, and they use the opportunity to take pictures and videos… just for laughs. Never for others to see… unless it's Wes…_

'_Thank you for coming tonight Kurt. It's been a while since you've been to one of our sleepovers,'_

'_Yes, I forgot how much fun they are,' he replied, watching Rachel try to fight Santana for the chance to sing Karaoke_

'_Indeed, we are an odd bunch of misfits,' Quinn replied, looking around the room_

'_Yes, indeed we are,' Kurt replied, smiling that she had included him in that statement_

* * *

When Blaine, Nick and Jeff get back to the dorm room, they are talking amongst themselves, and shushing one another, whilst Jeff holds his iPad in between the three of them, turning it around every now and then. Kurt doesn't pay attention, he's staring at the ceiling whilst lying on his bed. He doesn't really care what they're looking at, until Blaine tells him that Jeff is making an itinerary for their trip. The trip they're all taking to find Kurt's mother. This is when the countertenor shoots up, and looks over at the three standing in the middle of the dorm. Jeff smiles and hands his iPad to Kurt, who looks over the itinerary he's made up. It looks pretty solid, down to travel times, who is driving, where they're staying and what they can see whilst they're there. Kurt doesn't say it often, but he thanks them all, hugging Nick and Jeff, who then slink off to Jeff and Blane's dorm, leaving Kurt with his boyfriend… but not before Nick sends him three texts, all filled with innuendos in their language they called "Nurtick". Blaine smiles and begins to explain to Kurt, that he threatened the boys, that if they didn't support the idea, he would hand them over to Wes. It's not exactly the truth, he told Nick that if he didn't come with them, he would tell Kurt that it was _him _and not Burt who found the information. Nick would've come along anyway. Kurt heads into the bathroom to finish up before their movie night, and comes out wearing his pyjama bottoms, but no shirt, and suddenly, Blaine feels very much overdressed. Kurt rectifies the situation, by pushing Blaine up against the wall, and slowly undressing him, before pulling a spare pair of his pyjama pants (they have clothes in each others dorm rooms… because why not?), out of the draw, and smirks whilst Blaine pulls them on.

Jeff emails Blaine the details, and an email that states that they will spend June locating Kurt's mother, and if they don't find her, that will be the end of it. Kurt knows that if they don't find her, he'll continue to search on his own, but for the sake of argument, agrees. They will drive from here to where she is living, and hopefully, he will get some of the answers he has been searching for, for the last thirteen years. It's the fifteenth of May. On the twenty-third, they graduate from highschool, and then on June ninth, they'll set off on their road trip. Kurt has already started putting all of his things together to be put into storage until they get to Harvard in September. The New Directions graduate on the twenty-fourth, so he has to go to McKinley for that, and I think Mr Schuester wants him to perform with the New Directions. This is exciting for Kurt, because the look on Wes' face when he finds out will be absolutely priceless. Which is what he tells Blaine, who promises to have a video camera at the ready on that day. They curl up on the couch and put a movie on. It's not really important, doesn't matter which one they chucked on, because they usually only get halfway through it before it turns into sex on the couch, or the bed, or wherever they end up. But for now, Kurt just curls up to his boyfriend, letting the warmth from his body make him drift off to sleep. Which wouldn't be a bad thing, but he's been having terrible dreams lately, and he doesn't want to alarm Blaine… not that he has a choice on where and with whom he falls asleep with. The other week Wes crashed on their couch and unfortunately saw what happens sometimes at night. Blaine hasn't experienced it all that much, because they rarely sleep overnight in each others rooms. They haven't lately anyway. There is a banging from outside the door, which wakes him up, and he's thankful and annoyed all at the same time.

'I have something I want to talk to you about before graduation,' Blaine said, caressing Kurt's hair

'What is it?' the other boy asked

'Not tonight Kurt… it's special. It has to be the day before graduation. I have it planned that way,' Blaine replied

'I hate surprises Blaine….' Kurt replied

'You will love this one… I promise' he replied, pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's head

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_It's the third time in a week that he's been woken up by one of what they're calling "Kurt's episodes". They're nightmares, or dreams. Things that either are true, and twisted a little, or not true and completely thrown into his imagination. The doctor Nick spoke to said it's a side effect of Bipolar, but he doesn't want to believe that his best-friend has the same condition as his mother. That would be too hard to admit to himself, even though the signs are there. He's forcing the boy to see a psychiatrist. His mother had suggested it to him, after he mentioned how worried about Kurt he is. Of course, the hard part is actually _getting _the countertenor to _attend _the appointments. Every time one comes up, Nick has to practically drag Kurt to the car, and then drive him there and home again, just so he will go. He's be prescribed anti-depressants, which make him moody, but he takes the required prescription of them and he's been good, until now. Wes had gone on and on about the council taking precaution to ensure the Warblers are drug and alcohol free before Regional's, and it's got Kurt paranoid to the point where he's stopped taking the medication to help him. It's Wes' fault and Nick is ready to have words with the head Warbler, but he knows that Kurt will kill him if he tells Wes about them. Blaine, on the other hand, just wants Kurt to like him the same way that he does. He's been dancing around the topic for months. Kurt has been here almost a year now, and they're going to be seniors. Those two should be dating already. They've been dancing around one another long enough. Regardless, he wakes up at three am, to his best-friend throwing things around his side of the room, looking for something. Nick sits up, watching Kurt frantically search for something. He waits for a moment, before flicking on the bedside light. He sees Kurt stop what he's doing, and turn to face him, tears streaming down his face. He's about ready to cave when Kurt says something he never thought he'd ever hear him say: he tells Nick that he needs help. _

* * *

Navy blue and red. Those are the colours that fill the common room. Warblers dressed in their regalia, preparing for their graduation. Wes, crying on Thad's shoulder, whilst David stands nearby, talking to Ian, Sebastian and Riker. All of the seniors are reminiscing, talking about their futures, what they're going to do tonight to celebrate the ending of highschool. Kurt is standing in what used to be his and Nick's dorm room, his father pleading with him to not go looking for his mother one last time. Then, he pulls Kurt into a hug, and makes the promise that no matter what, he will always love Kurt, and that he knows his son needs to do this, he needs to close that door, in order to get some kind of closure in his life. He needs to move on. Blaine meets him by the door, looking handsome in his regalia. He shakes Burt's hand, and all is back to the way that it was before. Finn is standing some distance away, with Carole by his side. He's tall, so he can see over most of the shorter Warblers, like Blaine and Riker, but Kurt is almost the same height as his step-brother, which he points out often. At ten am, the guests are called to enter the auditorium at Dalton, leaving the graduates to the mercy of their teachers, who prepare them for what they're meant to be doing. Kurt had opted out of giving a valedictorian speech, instead offering the student address to Nick, who happily accepted it. Kurt is thankful that he is top of the class, but he doesn't want to talk for fear of saying something he might regret, and those speeches are so frustrating because you say one thing, and either someone hates it, or everyone loves it, and you hate it because you should have said this instead of that… blegh. _I'll just let Nick make a fool of himself…_Kurt thinks as he's pulled into a conversation with Riker and a non-Warbler Billy who was in his English class.

Whilst they're sitting in their designated seats, Kurt wonders what the McKinley graduation will be like tomorrow. He hasn't told Wes that he's performing a number with the New Directions, he's going to surprise the now former-Head Warbler tomorrow when Schuester introduces them. Last night, on their "last-high school-date" as Blaine had called it, there had been a proposal. Not a marriage proposal, they're far too young for that. A proposal of promise. Blaine had been preparing the whole thing for about a month. He was going to do it on their one year anniversary last month, but time got away from them, and he didn't, but yesterday was just as good a day as any. Blaine gave him a silver band, in scripted with a date, on which he would ask to Kurt to marry him. Essentially, it's a promise ring. He'd sent a mass text to all of ND and the girls have been dying to talk to him, so he's going to get crushed by them tomorrow. Finally, they get to the H's. There are only a few of them… William Harold, Tyler Holland and then finally, Kurt Hummel. He hears cheers the loudest from his family, and when he takes a moment to look out into the crowd, he can see the New Directions and the Schuester's, and Sue, sitting towards the back. Kurt receives his diploma and valedictorian award at the same time, and returns to his place in the audience. Because he isn't speaking, he gave up his stage seat to Nick, who is obviously having a blast, because he's taking photos and making stupid faces at whom he can only assume is Wes. He kind of zones out when Nick does his speech. He hears the words of course, but he's floating in and out of being here and somewhere else. The knowledge that in a matter of two weeks, he's going to be on the road to answers he's been waiting thirteen years for, is kind of overwhelming. He's not sitting near Blaine, so he clenches his fists, and tries to focus on Nick talking.

* * *

After the New Direction's graduation is complete, Schuester gets up on stage to announce that the Dalton Academy Warblers and New Directions have a special performance planned. Kurt had spoken to Rachel. The Warblers would sing Acapella, whilst the New Directions sang. Considering they have never really done a set without actual music, Kurt have been teaching them a few things, and their five rehearsals (yes, five days they learnt this in), have hopefully paid off. The crowd cheers when the Warblers start on the stage, their personal instruments filling the auditorium, making the music that the New Directions would usually need their band for. Kurt winked at his boyfriend as they walked out together, and then surprised them when he went over to join the New Directions, and if Wes hadn't been singing, he probably would have gaped at the situation in front of him. But regardless, it's just a little bit of fun. Besides, when are they ever going to be able to stand on the same stage, all together and perform again? When the song finishes, to a thunderous applause, and long after everyone has gone home and the celebrations are over, the New Directions and Warblers remain on the stage, talking, laughing and wishing for their futures, and making promises to meet up every now and then, or even just keep in touch via Facebook. Kurt looks around the room, and makes the mental note to himself that he knows that probably won't happen, but he hopes that is does. It's after one am when they disperse, slowly walking the corridors of McKinley, whilst Wes is berating him for "joining the other side". Kurt stops for a moment, before they exit, and turns around, looking back over the halls he spent a brief period of his life in, before turning and leaving. Onto the future… the road ahead, whatever it may be…..

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED

* * *

**A/N Next Chapter: Blaine, Kurt, Nick and Jeff start their journey to find Kurt's mother. Finn faces a dilemma when Rachel tells him that she doesn't want to break up anymore. The four face a tough decision when they have to decide whether or not the house they're living in for college is going to be right for all of them. Kurt stumbles upon another secret about his mother that he didn't know – and Nick tells Kurt that he also knew about Elizabeth – that he was the one who got the information. Flashbacks include: Burt thinks he sees Elizabeth watching Kurt at the park one afternoon in Westerville when he's seven, a game of Warbler hide 'n' seek goes terribly wrong when someone is injured critically and Finn and Kurt learn they're going to be brothers. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	10. Journey To

**A/N: I know that it's been over a week since my last upload, and I am really sorry. I've been sick for the last two weeks, and it's getting ridiculous. But, I was feeling better today, so I sat down and decided to write. But you know what the best thing is, to make up for the time I missed in uploads, I have decided, that to thank everyone for the follows, favorites, and reviews, that this week, you're getting TWO chapters. That's right. This chapter, and Chapter Eleven will be uploaded today. It's just my way of saying thanks. So get reading, and don't forget to fav, follow, and review. Nice reviews, gets you more chapters. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D. P.S I have done as much research as possible on the places I'm sending them, and everything American, but considering that I am _not_ American, there is only so much I can Google. I have tried to be as accurate as possible, but If I get something wrong, please let me know, and I apologise in advance. I don't want to offend anyone. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Journey to…**

It was early morning. They had all been up for hours, cleaning up their rooms, and preparing to move out of the dorms at Dalton. Finn was helping his brother and father, load things into the car. He hadn't really talked to Blaine or Kurt about their trip, but he knows that it's something his brother has to do, and he isn't going to be one of the ones who tells him he can't. If he was in the same position as Kurt, he would probably do the same thing. They don't really talk that much whilst they're loading Kurt's things from his dorm to the car. Much to their surprise, Kurt doesn't have that much stuff. This is surprising, especially to Nick, who thought that most of their room was just Kurt's shit, when in fact, it was actually his own. This is a talking point for the next five minutes, with the best-friends playfully arguing over who has the most stuff, and how they're going to fit it into their new house when they start college in September. Nick and Jeff have found a couple of houses that they can look at before they start school, but they want to make sure that it's in the right location for all of them. Blaine apparently, doesn't want to live on campus, even though it's Harvard that he and Kurt are both attending, and it would be ridiculous not to. Carole places the last of Kurt's bags into the car, and turns to face her step-son, giving him a quick hug, and telling him they'll meet him at home. He nods, waving to his brother and father, before turning back to face the entrance to Worthington House. For the last three years, he, Nick and Blaine have lived here. They've made memories, and had fights. It's been filled with ups and down that he'll remember forever. Wes decides at that moment to announce that he wants a photo of them standing on the steps, one last time, before they depart for their summers. So, once again, the Warblers line the steps of Worthington House, and Miss Price takes cameras and phones from the students, and lines them up, before snapping pictures of them, smiling, pulling stupid faces. It's a reminder for the future. A reminder of the past…

When their photos have been taken, and their dorms have been emptied, Wes stops to tell the Warblers to take one last look at Worthington House, clutching onto David like his life depends on it, before they all turn and leave at the same time. Blaine links his and Kurt's hands together, as they walk over to Nick's car. The four of them get in, and leave Dalton, heading towards Nick's house. Tomorrow morning, at ten, they're leaving Westerville, and driving to Bloomington, Indianapolis for the first part of their "journey". Burt had given them some money, and all the information he had on Elizabeth. Kurt is closer to answers. He closer than he's ever been before, and part of him is nervous. What if they get there, and she doesn't know who he is? She'd have to right? He's her only child, you have to remember your only child. Finn wanted to tag along, but he has early admission stuff going on, and his relationship with Rachel is more complicated than a one thousand piece puzzle, so Kurt told him to hang back, that he'd send photos and updates, and call when they get to the places they're going. Mandy and Tad are unloading Nick's stuff into the Duval house when they arrive, and Kurt immediately moves over to help them carry things inside. Nick calls out that he's a pansy, and this earns a whack to the head from Blaine, and a laughing Jeff, who kisses him when he pouts. Jeff had also been accepted to Harvard, he's studying Engineering. Which is why it's good that they're going to be living in between Emerson and Harvard, somewhere in the middle. Mandy thanks Kurt for helping her with all of Nick's stuff, and Kurt just smiles, and thanks her for letting them go off on this journey that most of them had labelled "ridiculous". Mandy believes that Kurt deserves to know why his other did what she did. Every child needs to know, and she isn't going to stand in the way of Kurt getting those answers. Besides, who is she to judge? She may not approve, but she would never say it out loud. As long as they're all together, and have it planned out, she's happy. They're going to move away in September anyway. She has to get used to that… again.

* * *

Finn is meeting up with some of the other New Directions for a "last gathering" thing like the Warblers, at McKinley. He and Rachel haven't spoken in almost two weeks, and he's been wanting to tell her that he's going to school in California. Mercedes, Puck and Quinn are sitting on the stage when Finn arrives, greeting Sam at the door, and congratulating the boy on getting into Cornell. The blonde starts talking and Finn tries to listen, but he spots Rachel, looking as though she's about to come and tell him something, and he zones out of whatever Sam is talking about, and almost bumps into Tina and Mike, standing in the aisle. Apologizing, he moves over to where Rachel is sitting, and sits beside her, smiling awkwardly. He loves her really, he does. But unlink Nick and Jeff and Kurt and Blaine, their love is highschool love. It's not eternal 'I love you forever' love. The New Directions are telling everyone where they got into school, and Santana is the one who decides that each person will take their turn, stating their major, and which college they're attending, then people will say congratulation, and then the next person can go. Finn smiles as Brittany gets up on to the stage and tells them that she's going to the College of Business at the University of Cincinnati. Finn is shocked, to be honest. He'd never say it out loud, but he always thought Brittany would study dance or something, and that she would leave Ohio. Regardless, he stands and moves to hug her, and she whispers thank you in his ear, winking at him when he pulls away. He's not sure what it means, but he smiles, and moves to sit back beside Rachel. Of course, she's going to NYADA, that's a given. Puck hi-fives him when he discovers that he and Finn are going to the same school, both having been accepted at UCLA, even though Puck is studying Architecture and Arts. He's about to shout out something stupid to Puck, when Rachel grabs his hand.

'I don't think we should break up Finn,' she says, and he turns to look at her, mouth agape, not knowing what to think

'Rachel, I'm going to school in California, you're going to school in New York, and we're going to be on opposite sides of the country. How is our relationship going to survive?' Finn asked, looking over at the stage, to see Mercedes and Tina acting out somet_hing _he's not sure what it is.

'Why didn't you apply to NYADA then? We could have stayed together. I know you talk about finding yourself after school, and that college is meant to be an exploration of who we are, but Finn, I love you. I know we can make it work,' Rachel pleaded, and he just wanted out

'Rachel, the love that we have, is highschool love. It's not forever love. Not like Kurt and Blaine. I know what you want, but I can't give you that. I think we need to go to school and be apart. If it's meant to be Rach, it will be,' Finn replied, standing, kissing her forehead, and moving over to talk to Mike and Luke.

* * *

For the most part, he thought he'd handled it better than most people would have, and Rachel didn't seem to be that fazed by it, although she did leave the room for about twenty minutes, only returning after Quinn went and got her. For the rest of the day, Finn stayed on one side of the auditorium, and Rachel stayed on the other, and perhaps it was practice for being on opposite sides of the country, or maybe it was just because regardless of everything, she knows that he's right. Eventually, everything settles down again, and when he finally manages to get Kurt on the phone, they sit around talking for hours (Kurt via Skype), laughing and remembering the times they stood on this stage, and defied the odds of what every person in this school thought, and all the times that Sue had tried to destroy them. Kurt didn't stay on long, about an hour into the conversation, the phone turned back to it's home screen, and Finn sent a text to his brother, telling him to be safe, and Kurt promised that he would. He also told him that he's sorry about Rachel, as if he knew… he probably did, she would always text Kurt when something was wrong, or she'd been through something that only Kurt would understand. They finish telling each other where they're going to school, and Quinn announces that she got into Yale, which leads them off on an entirely new direction of conversation, debating the authenticity of people who get into the Ivy Leagues. Mercedes strays from the topic of conversation, leaning against Finn, and just smiling at him, watching his interactions with the group, before telling him that he should be proud of Kurt, and he quickly assures her that he is, but she just smiles and laughs at something Tina says. He's confused, but doesn't ask, he just watches his group of friends, and the last time they are going to be all together for a while.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Kurt and Nick are seven, they're at the park with Burt and Mandy, running around and yelling and screaming like the other kids, pretending they're pirates, or whatever. Mandy and Burt chat about where they're sending the boys for pre-school, and how they think they're going to last through not going to highschool together. Nick is going to end up at Dalton Academy, and Mandy knows that Burt doesn't earn enough to get Kurt into that school, so he'll probably end up at McKinley, not that there is anything wrong with that, just the boys have been together almost every day since they met. Its years off anyway, they don't know why they're worrying about it right now. Nick manages to injure himself, falling off the slide and landing on his arm. Mandy rushes over to her son, Burt close behind her, holding Kurt when he tell his father that Nick was trying to run up the slide, and he promises that it wasn't his fault. Nick just keeps talking to Kurt, and the taller of the two seven year olds, just replies, keeping him distracted from the pain. Mandy is impressed that her son isn't complaining, even though his arm is only sprained, and now broken, it would still hurt like hell. She moves over to the seat, taking Nick with her, and explaining that he can't keep running up and down the slides, or he's going to end up breaking something. Nick just grins cheekily, and Kurt manages to break out of his father's grip and run back towards the sandbox. Burt stands to run after his son, and stops suddenly, halfway between the sandbox and the seat he's been sitting on for the last hour or so. He could have sworn… that he'd seen a head of blonde hair, watching them, a distant look in her eyes. He moves in the direction of the sighting, and gets to the street, which is hopeless, because any chance of seeing if it was Elizabeth that was watching him would be shot down, the minute he go to the sidewalk. He could have sworn, she was standing there. Burt turns back towards the park, and sighs. It's been two years, and he's still seeing her everywhere. Maybe he does need some help. _

_Kurt doesn't say anything when Burt arrives back at the seat that Mandy is still sitting on. He's just standing there, talking to Nick's mother, as if nothing had happened at all. What had been going through his mind when he just took off like that, after a shadow? It could have been anyone, anything. Burt knows that his ex-wife isn't coming back, she made that clear by running off in the first place. Regardless, some part of him deep down, wants to discover the reason she took off, the real reason she's hiding and not coming to talk to them. If she's back in Ohio, then there has to be a reason. There has to be a logical explanation. A psychologist would have him admitted to a psych ward given the option. He even sounds crazy in his head. Kurt smiles at his father, and that's all he needs to drop the incessant notion that he's seeing Elizabeth, because he has his son, and right now, that's all he needs. Which is why he almost crushes Kurt in a hug, looking at Mandy, who just kind of smiles at him, asking him if he's alright, and what he ran off after. He just shakes his head, and the realisation hits her. She just hugs Nick and Kurt a little tighter, understanding. It's a silent conversation they have, and even Tad must sense it, because he calls Mandy. Burt just chuckles when she tries to convince her husband that they're not being chased by bears. They head back to their cars, Burt takes a last chance glance to the spot where he thought he saw Elizabeth, and then turns back quickly when it's vacant. Kurt climbs into the front seat, waving to Nick, and shouting that he'll see him tomorrow. Mandy hugs Burt, and makes him promise they'll come over for dinner tomorrow night as always. Burt promises, and waves them off, getting in the driver's side, and closing his eyes for a moment. _

* * *

On the morning of June 9th, Kurt, Blaine, Jeff and Nick pile into the hire car, a large black SUV, and pull out their itinerary. Nick is driving to Bloomington. It's three hours (3hr 52 min), and if they leave right now, at ten, they can be there by one, which gives them time to check into their hotel, and maybe sight see. Blaine made them promise they wouldn't just pit stop in places, they would actually get some culture, whilst they're driving across America. Kurt didn't mind going to see the sights, or shops or whatever they had discovered in the towns/cities they're going to. For example, Bloomington is home to the Fountain Square Mall, and Westside Strip Malls and Retailers, and according to Jeff, they have to go there. Mandy and Tad wave goodbye to them as Nick reverses out the drive, and they wave. Nick and Jeff in the front, Kurt and Blaine in the back, all their crap in the boot. In the pit of his stomach, Kurt is harbouring excitement, nervousness, and an urge to cancel this trip. He's been doing a lot of thinking...about whether or not he _really _wants the answers he's been craving the last thirteen years. He knows that if he cancels the trip now, Nick would kill him. Wes had suggested to them a heap of car games they could play, mostly as a way to be asked on the trip, but considering the former Head Warbler doesn't actually know what's going on, they pretended to miss the subtle asking, and didn't bother to acknowledge it. As a part of their journey, Nick wants to drive to Brookline and look at their house there. Kurt thinks they can swing it, but considering they're going in the opposite direction, it might not be until after they get back. Between now, and when they start college in September, there is… well its July and August. The Anderson's are taking an overseas trip in July that Blaine considers his graduation present, and Nick, Jeff and the Duval's are heading to visit family in Dublin. Kurt is going camping with Finn and Burt. Then he'll probably prepare for college, and move to Brookline, set the house up, for the others when they get back.

By the second hour, they've exhausted every car game they can think of, and Jeff and Kurt are sleeping. Nick and Blaine haven't really had a chance to clear the air, considering they haven't had a chance to talk. Nick knows that Kurt is going to ask how he managed to get the information they needed from Burt, and he knows that Blaine will tell Kurt at a moment's notice, should he not be the one to. They decide to chat whilst they're driving, because Nick wants to be the one to explain to Kurt the reasoning behind what he did. Blaine tries to keep himself even tempered, not wake Kurt and Jeff, but it gets harder and harder to maintain his composure when Nick tries to throw the blame off of himself. It gets to a point where Blaine decides to take the conversation in a different direction, and Nick happily agrees. They decide to sit in silence. Silence is better than having a potentially friend ruining argument in the car. They can save that for the hotel, annoy the other guests a little. The rest of the ride is in silence, and when they finally pull into the Hilton Garden Inn, on North College Avenue in Bloomington, Nick is exhausted, Jeff is wide awake, and Kurt just wants to have lunch and relax for a while. They get out of the car, and Blaine goes to check them in, getting them two joining rooms. Nick doesn't mean to, but he slams the door when he and Jeff are in the room, and it startles Kurt. He looks at his boyfriend, who is pre-occupied with unpacking his bag and putting things in the bathroom, than with telling Kurt what the hell is going on, and what happened in the car on the way here. Kurt opens the door that joins their rooms together, and pulls Nick into his and Blaine's, telling them both to sit down.

'What the hell is going on? You're slamming doors, ignoring each other again, and this isn't what this trip is supposed to be about,' Kurt said, running a hand through his hair, frustrated

'Kurt, I'm the one who gave your dad hat information about your mother. I've known where she is for the last few months,' Nick said, standing in case he needs to make a quick getaway

'I know Nick. My dad told me. He also told me that it wasn't your choice, that he put you in a bad position. I was just waiting for you to tell me. I'm assuming that Blaine knows as well, and he's been mad at you for not telling me, so now you can both get the fuck over it. All is good. Now I'm hungry, let's go get lunch' Kurt said, grabbing the room key and heading out the door, leaving the three boys staring after him

'I'm worried about him,' Nick said, following Jeff and Blaine out of the room to find Kurt waiting for them at the elevator.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Warbler Hide 'n' Seek**

_It was a stupid idea. A stupid, idiotic, moronic idea. Wes was sitting in the emergency room beside the rest of the Warblers. He had his head in his hands, and was listening to Nick tear shreds off the rest of them. It had started out innocent, just a game of Warbler Hide and Seek. They had finished their finals, and were awaiting the bell to ring to signal the end of the year, and Wes had decided that to bring in their senior year in style, he would introduce the Warblers to his classic Hide and Seek game. Of course, this had ended with Sebastian, Byron, Tyson and the Twins making up ridiculous rules where they could hide anywhere in the school, and when they were found, they had to return to the common room, and wait for the others. It was also Kurt's first time playing the game, and Nick had suggested that they just play an easy version, but of course, being himself, Wes had egged Kurt on. Told him that if he chickened out he'd be forever remembered for it. Blaine had been trying to talk them out of it, Thad and Ian had ruled the council to cease and desist, but he's such a selfish prick, that he doesn't listen to them, even when they have their best interests at heart, and now here there are, sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, unsure of what's going on, and all he can hear are the words in his head… Kurt wanted to prove to the other Warblers that he isn't a wimp that he can play in the big leagues just like everyone else. He and Blaine had argued over it, the tenor stating that Wes can't decide the future, that it's dangerous, and Kurt doesn't know what he's getting himself into. Kurt argued that Blaine and Nick have been trying to protect him, by wrapping him up in a little bow, and pretending that there aren't things in the outside world that can hurt them. He'd stormed off ,and Blaine had been left standing in the middle of Worthington House, calling after it, and ultimately, being made 'it'. _

_Of course, at the beginning, it's all just fun and games. Nick and Jeff are the first two found by Blaine, and they head back to the common room. Nick calls Kurt, to make sure he's okay, but the Warbler doesn't answer his phone. Probably because it's on silent, due to this stupid game that Wes decided they play. He and Jeff decide to set up the movie night, order some food, and organise what movies they're going to watch when all the Warblers are found. Blaine finds, Riker, Sebastian, Tyson and Byron next, all four of them happily make their way back to the common room. The twins are hiding in the rafters above the entrance, and jump down, almost making Blaine wish he'd brought a knife with him. They run back to the common room. If he finds the rest of them, they can be done by six. But of course, Wes is the hardest person to find, and Kurt is so new at this, he's either lost, or just gave up and went to bed early. So he goes to check Kurt's dorm room, and it's empty. Then he goes to Wes' room, and that's empty too. He's about to head outside, (because Wes like to break the rules and hide outside the dorms), when he gets a call from Nick. Wes found Kurt, they're at the hospital. So that's how they ended up here, sitting in the waiting room, Burt and Carole on the way over, Finn arriving moments ago with the whole of New Directions in tow, Puck threatening to punch people, and Nick tearing strips off of Wes. Kurt had given up on the game, but his phone had died, and he couldn't let the Warblers know. He and Wes had the same idea, to hide outside, and he was crossing the road to head back to Dalton, when Wes distracted him, and he was hit by a drunk driver. _Kurt never does things halfway… _Blaine thought to himself, smiling. _

_Kurt wasn't hurt terribly, just a couple of broken ribs, arm and a mild concussion, but that had definitely suspended Warbler Hide and Seek indefinitely… Wes was never the same again, he was always making sure that he could see Kurt that the countertenor was always in sight. The next few months saw Kurt spend time healing, but that didn't stop him from joining in with the Warblers over the summer before Senior Year. It had taken a lot of promising that they wouldn't hurt him, to get Finn and the New Directions to let Kurt go out with them, and it had taken Blaine a long time to realise that he and Kurt share more than just a friendship. Nick had promised Burt that he'd done everything to make sure Kurt didn't play, but the countertenor was stubborn. He also questioned his best-friend about whether or not it was intentional, and the look on Kurt's face was enough to get him to want to punch himself. Kurt hadn't done anything like that for a while, but he hadn't gotten completely over it either. Besides, Nick was having too much fun making playful fun of Kurt and Blaine fawning over one another. Kurt had never denied anything, and it was nice to see that the boy was still able to see the bright side of Warbler Hide and Seek, even though Wes had almost gotten him killed…._

* * *

By the time they got back to their hotel, it was on nightfall. Nick had found a fabulous place for them to eat dinner, and they had spent the day just walking around, and looking at shops. Jeff had suggested seeing touristy things, but none of them really wanted to drive anywhere, so they hadn't bothered. Nick and Blaine had talked, and everything was back on solid ground. Tomorrow morning, they're leaving Bloomington at nine, and then Nick will drive to Springfield, Illinois. Another three hour fifty two minute car drive, and they'll be one state closer to their destination. The anticipation isn't that overwhelming for Kurt, he's come to terms with what is happening. He is not however, prepared for the information that Nick gives him about his mother. Blaine sits beside Kurt on the bed, as Nick goes over everything he told Burt. That Elizabeth has another kid, a son, that she's been married for the last few years, used to be addicted to all the really terrible drugs… He wasn't expecting the son information to be the thing that upset him the most, even though Nick mentioned that the kid is in foster care, that doesn't make him feel any better about the fact that he has a half-brother, that he doesn't even know about. Finn would be surprised to know that as well. Blaine was watching him, probably waiting for him to flip out or something, but Kurt just nodded, and moved over to the couch, flicking the TV on. For the rest of the night, they watched movies, and ate whatever candy they had brought that day whilst they were out, and then by eleven thirty, they were all in bed, knowing they have to be up early tomorrow, if they're going to make it to Springfield at the scheduled time. Blaine curled up to his boyfriend, turning to face Kurt, who was lying facing the ceiling, but had his head turned to meet Blaine.

'Are you okay Kurt?' Blaine asked

'I'm fine Blaine. Stop thinking I'm going to all of a sudden flip my lid or something,' Kurt replied

'Kurt, I love you. You know that right?' Blaine asked, and Kurt turned so that he could kiss Blaine

'Yes Blaine, I love you too,' he replied, snuggling close to him.

What if he has what his mother has? What if, all those nightmares, are trying to tell him something? Trying to tell him that he has depression, that he needs to go back on his meds full time, that he shouldn't be gallivanting halfway across the country to see a woman who couldn't care less about him… she did leave him at a gas station when he was five… she was obviously off her meds too, and having bipolar disorder made her do something she normally wouldn't. Kurt doesn't sleep that night. He lies awake, thinking over everything, wondering if he made the right choice.

* * *

**A/N Next Chapter: Springfield, Illinois. The amusement park, Lincoln tours and a revelation from Nick about his relationship with Jeff. Burt and Carole decide to renovate the house, and Finn moves to California early, mostly to get away from Rachel, but also because he has a "life changing dream", and realises that if he doesn't get out of Ohio, he'll be stuck there forever. Kurt freaks out and begins to question everything he's been thinking over the last thirteen years. Blaine tells Nick that he's thinking of asking Kurt to marry him when they start college, and it leads to Nick questioning where his relationship with Jeff is going. Kurt discovers that his mother is once again, not the person he's pictured in his head. Flashbacks include: Burt goes to see Elizabeth, McKinley plays host to the Dalton Academy Warblers. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	11. In Hind Sight

**A/N: This is the second chapter. Just to say thanks. I have been itching for weeks to write down the scene where Kurt _finally _finds his mother, and it's coming along nicely, which is why I couldn't really elaborate on it much in the flashback in this chapter. But stick around, because it's coming up soon. I hope I'm getting the places that everything right. I've researched as much as possible, but Google only goes so far. I don't want to offend anyone, so if I get any of the Americanisms wrong, please let me know. Thanks so much for favouriting, following and reviewing. I love you guys. Don't stop doing that though. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: … In Hind Sight…**

Kurt was the first one up, and was already showered and dressed by the time the others had even thought about doing anything like that. He'd also already been out and brought coffee and food for everyone. Blaine was surprised that Kurt wasn't dressed in his usual attire, skinny jeans and odd shirt, instead he had on a baggy shirt, and jeans that were tight, but not skinny. Nick groaned at Kurt opened the adjoining door to their room, and began opening blinds, forcing them to get up, and get active. Jeff just watched as Nick and Kurt argued in their own language about the appropriate behaviour when it comes to waking people up, the negative side effects, and whether or not it's proper. Blaine showered and dressed, grabbing their bags and taking them down to the car, then heading back upstairs to their room, where they were waiting on Jeff, finding all of his things. Checkout is ten am, but they want to be gone by nine, and considering it's a three house drive, they can be in Springfield by twelve, if they get a good head start, and miss some of the traffic. Jeff has been making stupid jokes about the Simpsons all morning, and Nick has warned his boyfriend more than once, that he's not afraid to pull over and leave Jeff in the middle of nowhere should he not stop talking about it. This was most of their morning, and half an hour into their drive. Tomorrow they're changing drivers, but Nick wanted to get this part of the trip out of the way. If Wes were here, he would probably comment on how casual they all look, and how boring the car ride was, then he would proceed to annoy the shit out of all of them for the whole day. But thankfully, Wes isn't here, and they don't have to worry about the incessant annoyance. Blaine seems to have taken up that role, according to Nick, when he starts pestering them about the map, and itinerary, which he has been worried about the whole time. They hired the car in Ohio, and they're flying back from Colorado. He wants to know the specifics, but they haven't thought that far ahead yet, they're taking it day by day.

About an hour into the drive, Kurt gets a frantic phone call from Finn, who is worried about college, and not getting out of Ohio. Blaine watches his boyfriend try to control an obviously frantic Finn on the other end of the phone, by talking calmly, and trying to make him laugh. In Ohio, Finn is sitting in his room, staring around at all the crap that he has, and last night, had a dream that he ends up getting back together with Rachel, and then doesn't go to UCLA, remaining in Ohio forever, and he can't do that. He can't stay in Ohio. He loves his parents, and his friends, but he has to get out. This is what he frantically tells Kurt, who explains to him that he can't just up and leave that he has to talk to Burt and his mother about this, because they'll be devastated if they come home and find him gone. He agrees, and promises to talk to them, but explains that he'll be gone by the time they get back from their trip. Kurt makes him promise that he'll call, and try and come see him before the holidays, and Finn agrees, before breaking out into a spiel about them going to Springfield, and proceeding to tell him the plot from an episode of the Simpsons, and it's at that moment that Kurt hands the phone to Jeff, who spends the next twenty minutes having the dumbest conversation in the history of any conversation ever. When Jeff finally hangs up the phone, and turns in his seat to hand it back to Kurt, the countertenor is asleep on Blaine's shoulder, mumbling words that none of them can really understand. Blaine thinks it's adorable, sometimes when Kurt is asleep, he'll mumble words in another language. It's so normal, that when he wakes up and starts speaking in English, Blaine is almost afraid to tell him that he's been speaking in another language. But Kurt doesn't seem to remember much from dreams, or whenever he mumbles, only what he's told. Regardless, Blaine takes the phone, from Jeff as he turns to face the front again.

* * *

Finn is throwing things into bags, and pulling boxes he'd stored down from the cupboard when his parents get home, calling out to him, explaining that they have some exciting news. Reluctantly, and with his speech ready prepared in his head, Finn goes downstairs, and sees the samples of paint spread around the front porch from the open door. Carole grins at her son, pulling him into a hug, and Burt explains that they're going to spruce the house up a little after both he and Kurt leave for college. The tall boy sits down on the step and runs his hands over his face, looking up at both his parents, trying to convey his message with his eyes, but failing. Burt catches on to the fact that he's trying to tell them something, and suggests they go into the lounge and take a seat so that Finn has some time to compose himself. Carole agrees, and begins to go through all the things it could be in her mind. Is Rachel pregnant? Is he dropping out of going to college? Has something happened to his brother? Every possible scenario goes through her mind, and as she sits beside Burt and takes his hand, she can't stop thinking about these things. Finn joins them a moment later, sitting opposite them. He goes on to explain that he loves them very much, but he's been doing something thinking…. He can't stay in Ohio for the summer. Rachel is bugging him, and he knows if they get back together, he'll never leave. He knows that he can't be held responsible for whatever goes through his mind about his ex-girlfriend, and he explains that he just needs to be able to be on his own for a while. He has to leave for California now. Carole is stunned, she's not what she thought it was, and Burt has a kind of disappointed/proud look on his face. They both look at each other, and then at Finn, who isn't watching them, he's looking at the ground.

'Finn, if you think this is something you need to do, then we support you son,' Burt said, smiling when Finn's head shot up

'Really? I thought you'd be pissed that I'm leaving now,' Finn said, and noticed his mother's eyes widen a little

'When are you planning to leave?' Carole asked

'I booked a ticket for tomorrow afternoon. Mom, please understand. I love you both, really, but if I don't do this now, I know… I just know… that I never will. I can't be stuck here. I have to start living my life, and that's going to be in California,' Finn said, as his mother just hugged him tightly.

The next afternoon, Carole and Burt drive Finn to the airport, and watch as he boards the plane, waving to them, until he can't see them anymore. Puck isn't going to be there until school actually starts, because he's Noah Puckerman. Finn doesn't mind though. He's going to stay in a share house until school starts, and he moves into the dorms with Puckerman. Surprisingly, the school let them room together, and Kurt made to point out that if they get kicked out of school, it would be hilarious. Finn smiles as he thinks about his brother. He got a text from the boys, they're going to be in Springfield for the night, and then they're driving to Hays, Kansas. The plane ride continues, and Finn decides he's going to nap, save falling asleep when he gets to California. Burt and Carole, on their arrival back at their house, stop for a moment, and think about the silence, and how they're going to deal when Kurt also leaves in August, and moves to Brookline with, Blaine, Nick and Jeff. Burt tells Carole that he doesn't want their children to leave, that he feels like he failed with Finn, and Carole calls Kurt, who doesn't answer, because he's still asleep. Nick is getting restless, and with twenty minutes until they get to their hotel, he's feeling the pull of sleep that the other three are free to visit anytime they want. But he wanted to drive, and he's not stopping early, they can deal with all that later. Finally, at quarter to one, they arrive at the hotel, the Hilton Springfield, on East Adams St. Nick parks the car, and goes inside to check them in. Jeff has organised all their hotels in advance, so they don't have to worry about driving around to find somewhere vacant. Blaine wakes Kurt, who adorably paws at the tenor to let him sleep, and groans when Blaine tells them they've arrived, and if he doesn't wake up, he'll get Nick to throw water on him like that time in Warbler rehearsal. Reluctantly, and against every fiber of his being, Kurt wakes up, gets out of the car, and helps to carry their bags inside and up to their room. This time, they have one room, with two double beds. Nick had made a remark to the receptionist, that they wanted "Single" beds, but they didn't have rooms like that, so they had to have two doubles. He's just "playing the crowds" apparently. Kurt doesn't even know what he means by that, and he really doesn't care.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**McKinley Plays Host to the Warblers**

_Rachel was the one who was freaking out the most. Not only had they lost Kurt to the Warblers, but now Mr. Schuester had invited them to McKinley, for a practice nationals run. Kurt had been in contact with Mercedes, who was telling him all the hilarity that was coming out of Rachel's mouth. Blaine was reading over his boyfriend's shoulder, as Miss Price turned the corner, and brought McKinley into sight. Kurt and Nick had sat together on the bus, mostly because once again, Jeff and Nick were fighting, and Kurt had to be the one to mediate the two, so Jeff had refused to sit beside Nick. Not that Kurt minded sitting beside his best-friend, just that he hates being in the middle of their arguments, and they're not fun fighting, when they're going to have to face Rachel Berry and the rest of the New Directions. Even Kurt had asked what Schuester was thinking with this was first brought up. I mean, they know what happens at National's, so is this something to see what songs they're performing, or do they genuinely want to practice whatever thing they have hidden away. Miss Price was way too excited about being at McKinley. She tried to get the Warblers pumped up, and Kurt noticed that they all moved closer to him as they walked through the school. They're going to stand out amongst the crowds, because they're in their uniforms, and they're not exactly blend able colours. William meets them at the entrance to the school, and Miss Price immediately starts flirting, fluttering her eyebrows, twisting a strand of hair around her finger, it takes all of his self-control for Kurt not to say something to their liaison. Schuester pretends to not notice, and leads them through to the choir room, Wes standing on one side of Kurt, David on the other, as people start to stare at them. They can hear Rachel before they see her. Kurt just chuckles, and walks into the room confidently, Blaine beside him._

'_Rachel, what have I told you about those outfits. I go to school in Westerville now, I can't dress you anymore,' Kurt said, smirking as the New Directions ran over to him, pulling him into hugs, Brittany jumping on him, and it was lucky that he caught the blonde girl_

'_Kurt, it's good to see you, even if you did come with the competition,' Rachel said, smiling and hugging him_

'_Warblers, welcome to McKinley. Please, take a seat. We're going to get started straight away, and I want you all to play nice. We're not going to be talking about what songs we're doing for nationals, and I'm sure that the Warblers won't either. This is just a chance for us to have some fun,' Schuester said, and Kurt had forgotten his speeches_

'_Hey white boy, I want to meet your boyfriend officially after this,' Mercedes said, winking at Kurt, who just grinned at her_

_By lunch time, Wes and Mr. Schuester were almost like best-friends, which meant David was sulking. Sebastian announced to the group that he has been dating new New Directions member, Luke Kingsley for about six months, to which Kurt and Nick began whooping and dancing around with the other Warblers. Sebastian and Luke just laughed and joined in. Sue hadn't even been by to annoy them yet, and it was surprising, considering she _admitted wholeheartedly _that she _adores _most members of the Glee club. All in all, it was basically just one big chat session, until Finn whispered something in Kurt's ear, and the countertenor smiled. They began singing _Shut Up and Dance. _Finn has been obsessed with the song by _Walk the Moon_ and decided that instead of telling them all to just shut up, he'd sing it, and Kurt danced with him, as they made their way towards the auditorium, the Warblers making up for the instruments, and the New Directions, marveling at the fact that Finn and Kurt can just be Finn and Kurt without anyone saying anything to them. Schuester was in the audience, watching with the rest of the New Directions, as the Warblers and Finn danced around, choreography be damned. When they finished, Finn decided to jump off the stage, and luckily landed on his feet. That had kicked off the karaoke sessions, with Schuester and Miss Price even performing a song, and then Santana blatantly pointing out to the Warbler's liaison that she had chosen a flirtatious song, to sing with their married Glee Club Director. Kurt marveled at how Miss Price kept her composure, regardless of her face turning beet red. Santana went back through the Glee Club archives to find performances that they had done together, back in the early days of Glee Club, and then told Blaine that he wanted the Warblers to perform _Teenage Dream. _Kurt took a seat in the audience, and winked at his boyfriend. Wes had to be bribed to perform the song. It was a good day. Strange, but good. _

* * *

The four had decided to check out Knights Action Park. Apparently, it's a "once in a lifetime" thing, that Jeff just has to do. The worst thing, is that he took Blaine with him, and the two ran off like their parents had left them alone in candy land. Nick and Kurt just walked around, a couple of meters behind them, so people didn't think that the two immature eighteen year olds, acting like five year olds were with them. They found a bench, and sat down, hoping that eventually, both Blaine and Jeff would tire and they could go and do something else. Nick had been thinking about everything on this trip. His relationship with Jeff seems to have stalled, and when he mentioned this Kurt, he looked as though he was about to fall off the seat. They talk for a while longer, Nick voicing his concerns to Kurt, who makes Nick promise that he's going to talk to Jeff before making any life changing choices. He knows that Niff belong together, and he's only using their couple name because Wes has been texting him incessantly, calling him and Blaine "Klaine" and Nick and Jeff "Niff". _The boy is an idiot…_ Kurt thought to himself, showing Nick the messages, hopefully to try and sway from the topic that they have found themselves in. Nick understands that Kurt doesn't like things to change, and that he would support him not matter what. Sometimes he hates that he can't just _talk _to Kurt without feeling as though he's being judged, and he can't do anything without Kurt disapproving. He knows how stupid that sounds too… _Kurt will support you no matter what you chose but he's right… you have to talk to Jeff… _Nick thought to himself, watching as their respective boyfriends found the concession stand. At the same time, he and Kurt both rolled their eyes, sighed, and then stood, making their way to the large building. _Creepy that we're both so alike… actually not it's not… _Nick thought, then proceeded to shake his head…

They hadn't been able to fit in most of the activities Nick had found, only because Jeff and Blaine had decided to spend their day running around the park like idiots, giving the actual five year olds a run for their money. When they finally got bored, they walked around for a bit, checking out some of the little bodega shops, and Nick told Kurt and Blaine that he and Jeff would go and get dinner, and meet them back at the hotel. Kurt gave Nick the 'talk to your boyfriend' look, and he nodded. Kurt and Blaine headed back towards their destination. Regardless of the time, Nick and Jeff head into a takeout shop, and grab some food, taking the time they're waiting for the order to have a chat. Nick expresses his concern that they're stuck in their relationship, not moving forward, just stuck on the same level they've been on for the last three years. Jeff just listened, shocked, as Nick talked. Of course, they can't stop one another talking by kissing, they made a judgement call that they're not going to use PDA on this trip, in case the run into less than friendly people. Also, half the time they don't know what is going on with the world. Regardless, Nick is stopped mid-sentence by Jeff taking his hand, and luckily they're out of sight of the proprietor. The revelation that Nick thinks they're stuck in their relationship shocks Jeff, who thinks that they're also stuck, but knows that breaking up isn't an option. Nick doesn't say anything else, they just get their dinner and head back to the hotel. The silence isn't helping, but they have another four/five days together, and it can't be weird. They will talk, but not right now. It seems like hours when they finally reach the hotel, in truth, it's only thirty minutes, and Jeff is babbling on about being worried that the food is cold. Nick smiles to himself, they're going to get through this.

* * *

They're in their hotel room, it's almost nine o'clock, and Kurt is pacing back and forth, Nick and Jeff have gone to get dinner. Blaine is trying to calm Kurt down, but he's babbling on about why he's been obsessed with finding his mother for the last thirteen years. Blaine is really lost on what to say. He has researched bipolar disorder, and begins to piece together little things. Kurt can get manic sometimes, and the mood swings vary from completely happy-crazy one minute to this manic, depressive state the next. They're in Illinois. It's not like they can just call it a day and drive back to Ohio, besides Kurt has to do this. He knows that deep down. He knows that if he doesn't, he'll be forever asking questions of himself. Blaine is so tempted to call Burt, get him to talk to his son, but Kurt stops pacing, turning to face his boyfriend, grabbing his shoulders, and asking what the hell they're doing. Blaine places his hands on Kurt's face, one either side, and kisses him on the lips. Enough to get him to relax a little, stop freaking out, and sit down. The countertenor puts his head in his hands, and then looks up at Blaine, who is just watching him patiently. Kurt hates that Blaine can do that. They should be arguing, fighting over this, debating whether or not Kurt needs help. Instead the perfect Anderson boy is just waiting for him to patiently come down from his freak out. _How can I have landed Blaine? What did I do in a past life to be awarded such a wonderful person who loves me? Was it because my mother abandoned me? I don't believe in god, but maybe this is… well Mercedes would call it fate. In fact so would Nick… _Kurt thought to himself, and frowned, looking over at Blaine, who just smiled at him. He moved over to the small table and chairs on one side of the room and sat down.

'Kurt, what is going on in that head of yours? Please, talk to me,' Blaine said, kneeling in front of him

'What are we doing Blaine? We're driving halfway across the country to find a woman, who doesn't give a shit about me. She doesn't care that she abandoned me when I was five. Doesn't care that I tried to kill myself, that I wonder whether or not I can do things, if I'm worthy of love. Why have I been so obsessed with finding her? What questions do I need answered so badly, that I can't just go online like a normal person?' Kurt asked, resuming his pacing, stopping when Blaine kissed him again, hearing the door open and seeing Nick and Jeff standing there. Something in Nick just snaps

'Calm down Kurt. You need to do this. You have to find her, if you don't, you'll wonder forever and that's not healthy. If you get it out of the way, you can work towards moving forward. That's why you're doing this. That's why you need this. To be able to move on,' Nick said from the doorway, Jeff holding the food behind him

'It's just… I'm tired. It's been a long day. Let's just eat,' Kurt said, taking the food from Jeff and moving over to sit on the bed he and Blaine were sleeping in.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Burt goes to see Elizabeth**

_He really didn't know what he was expecting when he knocked on the front door. Did he expect her to look like the person he married, or a completely different person? Of course she would be different, the years of drug abuse would make her different, but he still doesn't know what is going to happen when that door opens. He only has five seconds to contemplate it, and then the door opens, and standing in front of him, is his ex-wife, years older, but still the same in so many ways. Her eyes widen when she realises who is standing in front of her, and for a moment, Elizabeth wants to turn around and slam the door in his face, grab all her things, and run for her life, but she's grown a lot since she was twenty-eight. She steps aside to let Burt into her house, and closes the door, asking if he'd like something to drink. He doesn't say much, and she invites him to sit in the lounge. Burt just stares at her for a moment, but takes the offered seating arrangement. They sit in silence, it lasts almost twenty minutes, and then Elizabeth asks Burt how he has been for the last thirteen years. He suddenly feels rage boil up inside of him, and asks Elizabeth if he can speak his mind. Against her better judgement, the blonde woman agrees, and prepares herself for angry Burt. She hasn't had to deal with that for years, but she's had her share of arguments, and sooner or later, she kind of expected this. Burt stands, and paces for a moment, before turning to face her. He keeps his distance, which she appreciates, and then asks her why. It's just a one word question: Why? And it's like that covers every question he's ever had in his head. Elizabeth just looks at him for a moment, wishing that this moment wasn't happening. She knows the answer. She knows why she did what she did, why she left… why she almost took Kurt with her, and she wants to tell Burt that it was never her intention to take Kurt, but she can't make the words form. _

_Another moment passes, and two hours later, Burt is sitting with his head in his hands, still in the same seat she had offered him when he first arrived, and Elizabeth is trying to wipe the tears that had formed in her eyes. She had given him the answers he had wanted. She told her that Kurt deserves better, that her other son deserves better. She knows that. She knows that neither of her children deserved to see her like that. But what happened in the past doesn't change a thing, and everything that she had with Burt, she loved. He handed her a folder, told her it was filled with pictures of Kurt if she wants them, and she takes it. An hour after Burt has left the house, she sits at her desk in the study, and opens the folder. The first picture she sees, is of Kurt in a private school Uniform, standing in between two boys, grinning manically. She presses her hand to her mouth to keep herself from crying out loud. She does love her son. Really, she does. But she can't keep this folder of pictures. Can't form her own scenarios in her mind about what each picture represents. How Burt had managed to find her that was what had her worried. Why wouldn't Kurt be able to find her? If he does, what would she say to him? Elizabeth returns the picture to the folder, walks out to the lounge room, and throws the whole thing in the fire, before bursting into tears and curling up to herself on the lounger. She doesn't deserve to have pictures of her son in her house. She has one of Jared, but it's hidden in a folder and she doesn't look at it. Perhaps she should have kept one of Kurt, but she's worked so hard to let go of everything from that period of her life, she doesn't think it would be wise._

* * *

The following morning, when they're packed, and checked their itinerary, Blaine announces that it's his turn to drive. They're going to Hays, Kansas, but they're going to have a pit stop in Kansas City, which is a four hour drive from here anyway. Kurt doesn't say much as they get into the car, and prepare for their next stop on their trip, but Nick winks at his best-friend who kind of looks at him oddly. He and Blaine had gotten up early, before their boyfriend's, and gone and gotten breakfast and coffee. Blaine had told Nick that he's thinking about asking Kurt to marry him, either before, during or after college. Nick just hugged Blaine tightly, and made him promise that he would be absolutely sure before asking Kurt, because he doesn't need to be reminded of what would happen should he break the countertenor. Blaine had laughed. Nick had used the lull in conversation to talk to Blaine about where he thinks his relationship with Jeff is going. Blaine had been wonderful in advising him of what he and Jeff need to talk about, and how long they should wait before talking about it. Kurt gives good advice, but he lacks the emotional quota to help Nick with the problem he's experiencing. Regardless, Blaine convinced Nick that before he makes any choice, he needs to look at the bigger picture. Where does he see himself in five years? Is Jeff included in that picture? Do they need to take some time apart, in order to find themselves and if they belong together? This is what Nick thought about as they got back on the road, heading towards Kansas. Kurt, on the other hand, was flipping through the file that Nick had compiled for his father, and discovered that his mother had gone kind of crazy, off her medication, and gotten into some heavy drugs. The picture he has of her in his head, is now becoming more and more unlikely as they get closer to Colorado.

* * *

**A/N Next Chapter: Kansas City, Kansas pit stop. Burt calls his son and lets him know that Finn has moved to California. He's surprised to hear that Kurt already knew about it. Finn finds himself a job and begins to save for a place to live close to the college. He meets a girl, the same age as him, also starting freshmen year at UCLA in the fall, they hit it off. Nick and Jeff have an argument, a big one that leads to a blow out of epic proportions. Hays, Kansas. Kurt tells Blaine that he doesn't want Nick and Jeff to break up, because he's seen what happens when they're not together, and it's not pretty. Blaine helps Kurt when he tries to harm himself after Nick takes out his frustration on his best-friend. It's the first time that Blaine has stepped in to help. Flashbacks Include: The Warbler Road Trip of 2014, Finn and Kurt bond at their parents wedding, Mercedes goes to Kurt for advice about… **_**that **_**and the beginning of Niff. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	12. That Much Closer

**A/N: So, Chapter Twelve. Halfway through this story. Pretty soon, they're going to arrive at their destination, but of course, obsticals arise and things happen to delay their journey. This chapter does contain mentions of Self-Harm, so please be warned, and aware. If you need help, please call your local hotline. Almost ready to begin winding down their road trip. I've been busy this week. I've had like five job interviews in the past week, which is, for me, a record number. Thank you for taking time out of your lives to read this story. I love you all for it. Enjoy, and see you next week. Read and Review. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: That Much Closer…**

It had been stewing for hours. Nick and Jeff had started an argument in the back seat, their hushed whispers indicating that an argument was brewing. They're in Kansas City, just stopping for lunch and to have a bit of a wander around, before Kurt drives another three hours to Hays. Blaine pulls into a car spot, and turns off the ignition, but before he can turn around and ask the other two boys where they want to eat, Nick is out of the car, and Jeff is following him angrily. They're heading away from the car, and towards the restaurant. Obviously, they're not going to talk about this right now, it's none of their business. Kurt gets out of the car, folding the map and placing it on the seat, before closing the door, waiting for Blaine to join him. Nick reaches the restaurant first, and enters, not holding the door open for Jeff, which is unusual. He always does things like that. Kurt's pretending not to notice what's going on. He's focussing on other things, like what food they are going to eat, because he's starving. They're finally in cell reception, and as he and Blaine make their way after their friends, Kurt's phone chimes with three missed calls, and texts messages from Burt. Blaine chuckles as Kurt just glares at his phone, still making it known that he's receiving messages and texts. When it's finally stopped, they're sitting in a booth with Jeff, who doesn't say a word, just looks at the menu and then at his phone. Nick returns a moment later, and sits beside Kurt, whispering something in his ear, and causing the countertenor to laugh, and then frown because Jeff glares at him. _Seriously? What the hell is going on? _He thought to himself, looking to Blaine with a questioning glance, only to get a shrug in reply. They sit in relative silence, the only sounds are the other people around them. Nick stands to make their orders, and it becomes a staring competition.

It's the most awkward they've ever been around one another, ever since Jeff met Kurt. Nick returns to the table, and places the metal number holder in the centre, before turning to engage Blaine in a conversation about how they're making good time, and they should be on the road by two thirty. Blaine agreed, and checked his phone. They have half an hour. Before their meal arrives, Kurt excuses himself to take a phone call from his father. Finn has moved to California already, which is the topic of their conversation. Kurt lets Burt know that he's already aware that Finn was moving to California, to attend UCLA in the fall. They're still sitting in silence when Kurt returns to the table after talking to his father. Blaine asks Kurt about his father, and the two talk about how Burt was surprised that Kurt already knew about Finn, and that he wasn't told beforehand. Kurt managed to calm his father down enough to explain to him that Finn had confided in him the best way to tell their parents, and Burt seemed to relax a bit after that. Nick wasn't paying attention to the conversation, he was pushing food around on his plate, and when Blaine's alarm went off at two fifteen, he stood, threw their money on the table, and left the booth before the other three had even thought about anything else. Whatever is happening, isn't going to cease before they get to Hays, and if it keeps up this way, they're not going to make it to Colorado all together. Blaine snaps a picture of the four of them (Nick and Jeff forced smiles on their faces), and posted it on Instagram, tagging Wes and David to make sure they knew how much fun they were having… _Yeah, it's been a blast…. _Kurt thought to himself, as he took the keys from Blaine, and moved around to the driver's side, watching Nick out the corner of his eye, climb into the back seat, and put his headphones in, turning the music up loud enough so that they could hear it through the buds.

'What is going on with those two, they've been weird all day?' Kurt asked, starting the car

'I don't know. I think Nick talked to Jeff about their relationship. Maybe it didn't go the way he planned,' Blaine replied

'What's wrong with their relationship? Are they breaking up? I don't want them to break up Blaine. I've seen them without one another. It's not good.' Kurt asked, as he pulled out of the car park

'I don't know, but if this keeps up, it won't end well,' Blaine replied, and Kurt nodded in agreement.

* * *

Finn had found a nice apartment to rent before school starts. He'd also managed to score himself a job at a local radio station, interning. He's saving some money before school starts, so that he can move closer to campus and not have to live on residence. Even Puck thinks it's better to live away from the campus, more time for parties… not that that is the reason Finn wants to live off Campus. He's just… not a sharing dorm kind of person, and if Kurt, Blaine, Nick and Jeff can live off campus, then he can too. _Not that it's a competition between me and my brother… _Finn thought to himself, chuckling as he flipped through the unstacked magazines he had been charged with fixing. There would be plenty of time for everything else later, learning the ropes, becoming a producer, all the behind the scenes work. He's going to be in the entertainment industry, and his brother is going to be his lawyer. They've even got an idea to start their own company… but that might have been because they were on a sugar high at the last party, and stupidly decided they would create their own company. Regardless, Finn is looking forward to the future. In the middle of his duties as an intern, Finn meets a girl, same age as him, who has come in for meeting with his boss. He introduces himself, and finds out that her name is Alisha, she's also going to UCLA, majoring in Medicine. They don't get to talk for long, because she's called into her meeting, but Finn does manage to ask her if she wants anything to drink because he's going out on a lunch run. She smiles, and thanks him, not giving him an answer. _Okay, that was confusing… _Finn thought, grabbing his bag and the list of orders, heading down to the nearest Starbucks to get what everyone wants. All he knows, is that he needs to see that girl again, because she's so different than Rachel, and she seems nice.

After two hours of doing light duties, and lunch runs, and back and forth running to get print copies, and radio digital recordings, Finn is finally awarded with a break, and a pat on the back. His boss is kind of cool, he's a junior at Berkeley, but works in LA over the summer break. Finn is completely not interested in whatever the guy is saying about surfing, because Alisha is standing a bit away, talking to some of the other people he works with, and he's completely distracted and enamored by her. He's missed three calls from his brother, one from Blaine, and probably a dozen from his mother. She's been freaking out ever since he accepted UCLA and not a school closer to home. To be honest, he's trying to be as far away from Rachel as possible. They need a bit of separation in their lives. They've been together too long, and maybe some time away will be what they need, not that he's planning on them getting back together, because he told Rachel they need to see other people. He's not enamored by her anymore. Not the way he is now. The way he _used _to be in the early days of Finchel. When she turns to look at him, he pretends to be focused on the magazine he's flipping through, and when she turns her head back to her conversation, he resumes looking at her. It's stalkerish, he knows, and if Puck were here, he'd make it obvious by calling her to come over, and then spend the rest of the time making lude comments and his expense. Jackson, his boss, finishes whatever he's saying, thanks Finn for the chat, and returns to sitting in the booth, recording whatever for the days broadcast. Alisha sits down beside him, but he doesn't noticed, until she lifts the cover of the magazine and chuckles to herself, asking him why he's so interested in reading an old edition of _People Magazine. _For the first time in his life, Finn feels himself blush, but he bounces back by smiling. _This could be the start of a beautiful friendship…_

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Finn and Kurt bond at their Parent's wedding**

_All of the New Directions are seated at a table, with Mr. Schuester. They're chatting happily, Mercedes is trying to get Kurt to reconsider moving schools. Nick and Jeff are happily chatting with some of the Warblers on the far side of the room. When Nick told Kurt he was bringing Jeff and some of the council Members, Kurt looked at him like he was crazy. He's at his parents wedding, not looking go get ahead at Dalton, where he hasn't even decided he's going yet. Burt know that his son would be better off away from the bullies at McKinley, but he also wants Kurt to stay there so that he and Finn can get to know one another better. They are brothers now after all. Although, he needn't have worried, because Finn and Kurt had been talking for about an hour, laughing and sometimes the surprise on Finn's face was a small delight in Burt's life. Nick was telling Finn about some of the things they used to do when they were little, and naive enough to think that they knew everything. He left out all the deep stuff, which Kurt appreciated. He's not ready for Finn to know, and he knows if he tells him, the rest of the New Directions will know within the hour. His step-brother is surprised to hear that he likes and can play, basketball, challenging him to a one on one. Kurt looks at Nick, who smirks, then agrees to the game. Finn looks between the two of them, and silently hopes that one day, he can have the same kind of friendship/brotherhood relationship they have, with Kurt. He has nothing but respect for his now step-brother. In fact, they talked about dropping the whole "step" thing, because Kurt wants them to be brothers. Finn likes that idea, and promises that he'll always be there for Kurt, and whatever. Nick lets Finn know what will happen if he goes back on his word, and the taller of the three cringes, and gulps, but then laughs when Nick punches his arm. _

_After the reception is over, and their parents have left, it's just Nick, Jeff, Kurt and the New Directions, sitting around, debating whether or not they should start a sing-off or something. Finn is approached by Nick and Jeff, and reluctantly, and a little apprehensively, follows them over to a table, where Kurt is talking with Mercedes. Apparently their "brother bonding" starts now, even though they've been bonding all night. Before their parents got married, they were just in the same glee club. Now everything is different… in a good way, but it's still something he's getting used to. Nick says something to Kurt about telling Finn all the deeper details, and he nods. Mercedes spots Santana and leaves them alone, pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's cheek, leaving her seat vacant for Nick to sit beside his best-friend. He tells Finn that if he wants the same kind of relationship they have, he needs to know everything. The taller boy nods, and sits back in the seat, listening as Nick tells him about Kurt's mother, everything that he's been through, what they've gone through together, and the reason they're so close. In the bits Nick can't remember, Kurt fills in, but the whole time, Finn just wants to hug them both. Kurt has been through more in his life before thirteen, than most of his other friends. He could never have dealt with his mother doing what Elizabeth did, and he's surprised that Kurt is as held together as he is. Finally he understands why Kurt sometimes distances himself, why he does and says certain things, and why everything that the New Directions think about him, just isn't true. When Nick leaves them alone, Finn tells Kurt that it doesn't change anything, and chances asking a couple of questions. Apparently they're now "bonded" in brotherhood or something, according to Nick's boyfriend, whose name Finn forgot, but he hugs Kurt tightly when they stand, and that seems to ring in his mind. They're all smiles for the rest of the night._

* * *

It was surprising, they had made good time, managing to get there before seven. Of course, they had their itinerary planned out, so they could explore if they wanted, but as soon as they had checked in, Kurt mentioned that he was tired, and they should just go up to the room, put a movie on and eat crap for the night. This had led to Nick pointing out that they didn't have much money left, and room service would cost too much. They left their bags in the room, and went back out to the car, heading to the local supermarket to grab some food that is in no way good for them, and a couple of things they might need for the rest of their travels. Wes and David had been angrily texting Blaine, pissed that they hadn't been invited to come along with them, instead being stuck in the Hamptons with David's parents, and siblings. Kurt rolled his eyes, and made a comment about Wes not understanding what he'd just written. They're on a road trip to Colorado. David and Wes are in the Hamptons… what more could a person want? Mercedes isn't even leaving Lima, and they're complaining they weren't invited. If this hadn't of been set in stone, Rachel probably would have roped Kurt into going to Paris with her and her dad's. as amazing as that would've been, there is no way he could have survived three months in a foreign country with Rachel… _besides, it's still weird between her and Finn…. Not that I'm choosing sides... _Kurt thought. After their quick trip to the shops, and with hands full with bags, the climbed back into the car, and for a moment, everything was peaceful… just for a moment. Nick was struggling to carry the bags he had been delegated to carry. They had just gotten into their hotel room when Nick accidentally dropped one of his bags and it landed on Jeff's foot. All of a sudden, Kurt and Blaine were standing in the middle of their friends arguing with one another, about whether or not their relationship was sustainable, and if they have their priorities right.

'You know that's not what I meant Jeff. I just said that we need to work on our relationship if we want to be together through college,'

'We've been together three years Nick. What makes you think we won't be together through college? It's you that got this idea in your head. It's you, that thinks we're not going to last. If you want out of this relationship so badly, then you have to say something,'

'You're putting words in my mouth… again.' Nick said angrily

'Oh fuck you Nick. I'm done with this…'Jeff said, leaving the room, slamming the door behind him

It would have been fine and all, you know with Jeff storming off, and Nick moving into his and Jeff's adjoining room to shower and get ready for bed, if Jeff hadn't come back about twenty minutes later, still angry, carrying something he'd obviously had stashed away in the car. Blaine and Kurt tried not to pay attention to what was happening in the next room, but when those two fight, it's very loud. They're surprised no one has called security yet. For a while, there is silence, and Blaine makes a joke about them having make up sex, to which Kurt throws a chip at him and tells him to stop thinking that way about their friends. Blaine just grins stupidly, and changes the channel on the TV. Nick comes into the room a few minutes later, dressed in his pyjamas, and asks Kurt if he can sleep in the spare bed in this room, because he's done talking with Jeff. Kurt nods, but doesn't say anything else. He knows better than to get involved with anything that goes on in Nick's relationship. He's been there and done that, and it didn't end well. Nick moves to sit on the edge of the bed, and plug his phone charger into the wall, before commenting that Blaine is watching children's television, only to earn a half-hearted glare from the former Lead Warbler. They break into light conversation, every now and then the two will chuckle, and Kurt will look at them like they're crazy, mostly because they are. They're two eighteen year olds who are watching children's shows, and laughing. He would say something smart, about them being childish or something, but he doesn't want to waste all the good insults on them, when he could text them to Wes and David. Their friends in the Hampton's have been quiet for the last four hours, which Kurt appreciates… although he hopes Blaine didn't send them anything that would make them not want to talk… like that photo he took the other night… _I will kill that boy if he's done that… _Kurt thought to himself. It was then that Jeff entered the room, looking at the three of them sitting on the couch, before turning and leaving again. Nick just sighed.

* * *

They hadn't decided what they would do this morning, so when Kurt woke up and when to see if Nick wanted to go for a walk, he was surprised to find that Nick had put as much distance as he could between himself and Jeff, who was sleeping in the other bed in the room. Also, the bed was empty. Jeff was the first person up that morning. They don't know why, but he was. He didn't come and wake them up, but they're here until tomorrow morning, so they have to spend the day together, and hopefully, if Kurt and Blaine push them together, Nick and Jeff can work through whatever is going on in their relationship. When Jeff returns at eleven, he tells them that he found a neat little spot for them to check out, and have lunch. Kurt, Blaine and Nick follow, Blaine and Jeff walk together, and Nick makes sure he's sticking as close to Kurt as he can get without looking like it's something more than it is. They head towards the bodega shops and Aquatic world, which Nick had discovered in the hotel brochure last night. They're hear until tomorrow morning, so they may as well make the most of it, whilst they can. It's not every day you get to drive across America. This is something that Blaine points out as they walk up the street, coming across a music shop that they all insist they have to go into. Once again, Blaine and Jeff go one way, and Nick follows Kurt, talking aimlessly about what he thinks Wes and David are doing in the Hampton's. They're laughing, which is good, because Nick is distracted enough for Kurt to sneak away, and leave him standing beside Jeff, whilst he and Blaine hide behind a CD stand, watching the two of them. They don't say a word to one another, just flip through CD's, and look at each other when the other isn't paying attention. Kurt rolls his eyes, and moves back over to his best-friend, who glares at him, but follows nonetheless. They head to a small café on the street and have lunch. They're not that far from the hotel, and it seems that before they make a choice about going to the Aquatic Park, Nick takes off back towards the hotel, and Kurt just looks at Blaine, who shrugs, and runs to catch up with his best-friend.

Nick is talking about when they were little and all the fun they used to have, and the one time they were in his tree house, and talking about how they both thought that boys (and girls) were icky, and then made a promise that neither of them would ever start dating, because that would destroy their friendship. Kurt chuckles, and them reminds him of their current situation, and is about to ask what is going on with Jeff, when Nick changes the subject, and starts talking about sports, and what they're going to do when they have time off from college. Are they going to see sports games? Or play them? Kurt just looks at him, listening to him ramble on, and he mentions something about going to see Finn and Puck in California at some point either before they start school, or during one of their vacations. He looks back to see Blaine looking miserable, whilst Jeff is showing him something on his phone. They make eye contact, and Kurt sends him an apologetic look, which Jeff notices, just going back to his phone, before Kurt can judge what is going on. He's so sick of it, so he stops them walking, waits a moment for the other two to catch up to them, then turns to go into one of the shops, dragging Blaine with him, leaving them alone once again. He and Blaine walk around the store, and he knows that Kurt is just wasting time, but Nick looks like he's about to freak out, and literally drags Kurt out of the store when they're finished with their purchases. Nick and Kurt are walking ahead a bit, just strolling really, and make it back to the room before the other two. Kurt is concerned about his best-friend. So he does what any normal best-friend would do, he asks Nick is he's alright. It doesn't go the way he thought it would. Especially this way… he never thought Nick would put all the blame on him…

'Are you okay Nick?'

'This was your stupid idea. A road trip to find the woman who abandoned you? I mean come on Kurt. No one is as put together as you. You think you have the perfect relationship because you and Blaine talk about everything and know that you're meant to be together? You're eighteen Kurt, get a clue. No one our age is meant to be together forever. This thing between me and Jeff, it's your fault. I asked you about it, and you told me to talk to him. I did and now look where we are. Congratulations Kurt, you got what you always wanted, Jeff and I are fighting and we might not be able to work through this one… I hope you can live with the knowledge that you are responsible for this…' Nick said, storming off, leaving Kurt standing in the hall outside his and Blaine's hotel room.

'Hey babe, is everything okay?' Blaine asked, when he and Jeff caught up to him, Jeff excusing himself to go into his own room

'I-I don't…' Kurt managed to get tout, before he ran into the bathroom, closing and locking the door, leaning against it, fighting the tears threatening to fall.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**The Beginning of 'Niff'**

_Wes had told him that Jeff had a crush on him. He doesn't know if the Head Warbler is kidding, either way, it can't be true. Kurt doesn't seem to think there is anything he can do about it. If this Jeff guy likes him, then he should get together with him. Of course, Kurt doesn't say this. Nick is only fifteen. He has plenty of time to be worrying about boyfriends when they're in college. Nick doesn't seem happy about the answer that his best-friend gave him, but doesn't say anything. They leave Breadsticks together, and head for Nick's house. When they arrive there, Jeff is waiting on the front stoop, and Kurt sees him first, rolling his eyes, before pushing past Nick in to the house. His dad isn't picking him up until seven, and he won't be the ditched, he'd rather be the ditcher. Nick invites Jeff inside, and they head into the den. If Wes is messing with him, he's going to lock that boy in the supply closet, and make sure that no one, not even David can get him out. He can stay in there until senior year, after they graduate. Obviously, there is something to the rumour, because Jeff is here, unless he's here to tell Nick that everything Wes has said is bogus. He's worked himself up, when he feels lips against his own, and then opens his eyes to see Jeff kissing him. He's stunned, and when it's over, he feels like an idiot for not kissing back. So he does that. He steps forward and re-connects their lips, smiling and whispering that he's an idiot, and that he now has to give Wes thirty dollars. Jeff just grins and shyly asks Nick if this means they're "boyfriends" to which he just replies by kissing Jeff and nodding. Kurt isn't spying on them per say, but he happens to be about to enter the room when he sees this. Now he's never going to see Nick again because he's going to spend all his time with Jeff, just like he spends all his time with the Warblers. This is the first day in a month they've been able to hang out together. _

_Back at Dalton, Nick and Jeff have been formally dubbed "Niff" by the Warblers. Kurt seems to think this is ridiculous, but has decided to pretend to be happy for Nick, because pretending will hopefully lead to really supporting him. Their first date, as cheesy as it is, is dinner and a movie, which happened to have been suggested by Kurt and Mercedes (who was over at the Hummel house when Nick rang Kurt to ask him what movie he and Jeff should go and see for their first date). It was perfect. They talked about everything, and even made the stupid comment that they would be "together forever", before bursting out into hysterical fits of laughter. Mandy watched her son and his new boyfriend, and was proud, and happy that her son and Jeff were together, but reminded him that Kurt is still going through a hard time right now, and he might need Nick more than ever. Of course, in a new relationship, friends always take a far backseat, and his relationship with Jeff is… well Blaine would use the word… _exhilarating. _He and Jeff spend most of their time together making out. When they go out for dinner, they talk of course, but Nick finds himself more and more physical with Jeff. Niff seems to be a kind of mascot that the Warblers go stupidly annoying for. They can walk through Dalton holding hands without worrying about being beaten or slurred at. He's heard stories from Wes, but he's learnt now that their soon-to-be-Head Warbler is full of shit. Part of him is in that gooey were-going-to-be-together-forever faze, and the other part, is telling him that they don't have a normal relationship. They haven't talked about the future, or where they seem themselves in five years… but Jeff is kissing him so he loses his train of thought… The beginning of Niff was the highlight of everyone's lives apparently. Nick was so focused on his relationship, he couldn't see his best-friend about to self-destruct… Nick kind of wishes they hadn't left this part of their relationship… hadn't entered the real world… _

* * *

Blaine is banging on the door. He can hear the pained calls from his boyfriend, but he ignores them. The crimson red stains the bottom of his arm, and it feels good, to release that pain. He's surprised when the door opens, and Blaine is kneeling beside him, worry, fear, pain and sadness written all over his face, and if Kurt wasn't already pathetic, he would probably think that Blaine was. He doesn't even pay attention to Blaine attending to the cut on his arm, but he can feel the warmth as Blaine wraps himself around his boyfriend, cooing love in his ear, peppering soft kisses to his forehead, and neck. They don't say anything, and when Kurt is done crying, he just stares at the floor. It's Jeff who finds them on the bathroom floor, dropping the mug he's holding in his hand when he sees the blood stained cloth. Blaine looks up at him, and their silent conversation ends with Jeff nodding, and leaving the room. He faintly hears Jeff tell Nick something, and then they both appear at the door again, and the guilt is written all over Nick's face, it makes Blaine want to punch him. Kurt doesn't look at any of the, focussing on the pattern on the floor. Perhaps Nick is right. For the last thirteen years, he's been searching for the woman who abandoned him. Why? If someone asked him the question, he'd honestly be able to say that he doesn't know. He doesn't know why it's so important to find her, why he will stop at nothing. He doesn't even know what he'll say when they get to Boulder. _Hey, I'm your son…. You abandoned me at a gas station when I was five… let's eat! _Blaine hears Kurt whimper and then hears him talking to himself, asking himself why they're doing this, why it's so important. He's about to answer, when Nick steps in, replying to Kurt's question, kneeling down in front of him. Kurt doesn't look at him, but Nick still tells him he's an idiot, and that he's sorry, he was just mad, and took it out on Kurt. When they finally get him to stand, Blaine forces him into bed, and when he's asleep, moves into Nick and Jeff's room.

'Neither of you are leaving this room until you work through this shit. You guys have been together three fucking years. You both know you're going to last through college. You can't start a massive fight that ends with Kurt self-harming, every time one of you brings up something about the future. Those things you said Nick, they were horrible. You know it's not Kurt's fault. He's already beating himself up over this whole thing. He doesn't need your shit on top of it. Get over this stupid fight, you love one another… fix it,' Blaine said, turning and leaving the room again, slamming the door for dramatic effect.

'He's right you know. I will admit, I over-reacted when you asked me about our future. I just… I love you so much Nick, I got scared that you were breaking up with me,' Jeff said

'I'm not breaking up with you, I just wanted to be able to have conversations like Kurt and Blaine can. I love you too by the way,' he replied

'Kurt will forgive you too you know. You're too important to him,' Jeff said softly, and Nick nodded and smiled, finally leaning in and kissing his boyfriend….

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: Colorado Springs, Colorado. The group finally get to Colorado, and in a moment of panic, Kurt gets overwhelmed with what they're doing. It takes Nick reminding him why they're doing this, telling him that he deserves to know why the woman who should have been there for him, left him. With the support of Nick, Kurt finally feels as though he can face whatever is coming. Rachel meets up with some Warblers in New York, and discovers that Finn has already moved to California. This leads her to take some drastic actions, and fly to California, where she meets up with Mercedes, and realises that she too can't keep holding onto the past. Finn and Alisha get closer. Burt calls Elizabeth and warns her that Kurt is going to be there in a couple of days, and that it's time she tells him the truth. Flashbacks Include: The Warbler Road Trip of 2014, Mercedes goes to Kurt for advice about… **_**that, **_**Elizabeth shows up at one of Dalton's family days, to see Kurt perform, hiding in the back, Kurt meets Wes, David and the rest of the Warblers. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	13. That Should Have Been the Clue

**A/N: You know that expression, "better late than never?" well that's what this chapter is. I apologise for being tardy with it. I've been caught up with work, and trying to find another job, and things just got away from me. But alas, here it is, a new chapter. I am thinking of uploading another one tomorrow, just to make up for the one I should have done last week, and the week before. So it might be a three chapter week. Depends on what is happening, and how my writer's block is holding up. I hope you're enjoying. Please follow, favourite, and enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D. PS Please remember, some chapters may contain traces of self-harm, so keep that in mind, and if you, or anyone you know needs help, please speak to someone. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: …That Should Have Been the Clue…**

They pulled into their hotel car park and shut the engine off. Colorado Springs, Colorado. It's taken everything in their emotional capacities to get here, and Kurt has been trying really hard to stop himself from turning around, going back to Lima and forgetting this ever happened… forgetting that this is what he has wanted for the last thirteen years. Blaine is woken by Jeff throwing water on him from the open window, and then chuckling and running off, as Blaine bolts after him, whilst Nick and Kurt just gape at their boyfriends, and mutter something about them being in love with idiots. Kurt just smiles, and grabs his and Blaine's bags, shutting the boot of the car and locking it, before following Nick towards the reception. They're staying at The Mining Exchange, a Wyndham Grand Hotel in Nevada St. Tomorrow they will make the one hour drive to Boulder. This is what has Kurt freaked out the most at the moment. He's basically one day away from seeing his mother, a woman he hasn't seen since he was five. He probably won't even remember what she looks like. His father got rid of every picture they had of her after she left. One day, when Kurt was seven, he came home to see all the photos of him and his mother, or his mother and father were gone. It's like their house was empty. Tomorrow is Friday. The last day of their journey will be Saturday, when they fly home from Boulder, because to be honest, Nick is sick of driving, and he didn't even drive the four hours that Jeff did to get them here. Blaine and Jeff had disappeared, and when Nick got a text on his phone, stating that the two had found the arcade, both Kurt and Nick rolled their eyes, and sighed. They aren't going to sit in an arcade, whilst Blaine and Jeff mess around with one another, besides, they have things to talk about, to clear the air. They've said sorry, but Nick knows it isn't enough, and every time he sees the white gauze under Kurt's shirt sleeve, he feels worse about the whole thing.

They have a double room again, two rooms, two beds in each, but they're adjoining, which is good, because they usually leave the door between the two rooms open and let their children (Blaine and Jeff) run around like the idiots they are. Nick puts his and Jeff bags in their room, and then walks through the joining door, to ask Kurt if he'd like to go for a walk, see what's around, find what they're having for dinner. The countertenor nods, and follows his best-friend out of the room. He makes sure to send a quick text to Blaine, letting him know what they're doing, and then returns to the conversation Nick is having with him, about plans for their house. If he wasn't going to study Film/Visual Arts at college, Nick could have had a career as an interior designer. He even tried to re-decorate their dorm room at Dalton, but their headmaster had threatened to suspend them, if Nick so much as changed one colour on the wall. He had taken to re-doing his bedroom at home, much to his mother's disdain. She loves her son, but certain things drive her crazy. Nick and Kurt are pretty similar with their design tastes, and Kurt understands that Nick doesn't want anything gaudy or gross, which is an agreement they all have. But they have some furniture on hold, and Carole and Burt promised they were giving Kurt some extra cash to help them furnish their house. On top of the loans they're going to have for school, and hopefully getting a part time job, he's hoping they're going to be able to have enough money to you know… actually live. They need food and money for bills more than anything else. Blaine's parents are mad crazy with their cash, and along with the tuition for Blaine (which is paid in full), they're giving them some cash for their house, which Nick hates, because he thinks that Blaine won't learn the value of a dollar, only to receive a whack to the back of his head, and a glare from Kurt. Nick grins, bumps shoulders with the other boy, and makes his 'I'm kidding idiot' face.

* * *

Nick and Kurt browse the small bodega shops on the street, and find a restaurant that delivers for dinner. They have lunch in a small café, finally getting back to their normality. Nick brings it up first that he's so sorry for what he said to Kurt, and the consequences. For the change in their conversation, Kurt takes a deep breathe, and then explains to Nick that both Jeff and Blaine told him they need to be completely honest with each other, no hiding anything, if they want to have their relationship back. Nick mentions that he doesn't know how they go to this point in their friendship, and Kurt looks at him with an expression that says he knows what Nick is talking about. He always knows what Nick is talking about. He's been able to tell, just by the way some of his words are inflected with different emotions. An example would be, when he's talking about a cause he believe in, all the words become longer, and more academically minded. When he's talking about liking kittens or animals, it becomes words spoken in quick succession, at a rate that no one normal would ever be able to understand... and most of the time, Kurt pays attention to what he's saying. He can listen, and not really be listening, but he'll still know what's going on. But for the most part, right now, Kurt is silent, just listening to Nick talk…

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Mercedes goes to Kurt for advice about…. **_**That….**_

_She and Sam had been dating for about six months. Apparently, according to Rachel and Santana, that was four months too long. She should have had sex with Sam by now, but Mercedes didn't want to be just another statistic, she wanted to make sure that she was ready. Kurt had recently confided in her, that he wasn't exactly the crystal clean student he's meant to be, that he and Blaine aren't… virgins per say. She knew he was trying to be subtle about the whole thing, mostly because they both didn't know if her parents were listening to this conversation, but of all of the New Directions, Kurt is the only one she can completely trust with this whole thing. She can't even talk to Sam, because she has no idea what is going through that boys head…. Except for when she does… which apparently is always thinking about sex… amongst the video games and all that other crap that boys think about. Kurt was staying over at her house, and they were just chatting, about funny things their glee clubs have done, and Kurt was in the middle of a story about Wes and David's stupid plans for Warbler rehearsals or something, and it just spilled out of her mouth. She asked Kurt about it, and apart from the shocked look on his face, she was positive that he was about to collapse or something. Kurt sat down on the chair across from the bed, and looked at Mercedes, resting his elbows on his knees, before asking if she's only thinking about this because Santana and Rachel are putting ideas in her head, that she's too far behind, that she needs to have sex to keep up. He told her that if she keeps thinking like that, then she's no better than them. But Mercedes didn't seem offended by what he'd said, which surprised herself more than the countertenor, she just asked when Kurt knew that was absolutely ready. For a moment, Kurt just looked at her, silently contemplating whether or not he should tell her the truth, or lie, but he knows that Mercedes can see through him, almost as well as Nick can. So he opted for the first choice._

'_Cedes, you shouldn't have sex with Sam because of what other people say. You need to be able to say to yourself that it's what you want. But that's _your _choice. It's no one else's. I can't tell you whether or not to do it,' _

'_How did you know Kurt? It's a simple question,' Mercedes asked_

'_Blaine and I… I feel safe with him. I know that he loves me more than anything and I love him the same way. I can close my eyes, and know that when I open them, he'll still be lying there, that our sex life won't become a story to just tell the guys about. I knew after I told him about my past, when he didn't run screaming…'_

'_I don't think I have that with Sam…'_

'_There isn't any rush Cedes. If you're not ready, tell him, I bet you he feels the same,' Kurt said, and the diva sensed that her best-friend knew something she didn't._

* * *

Rachel had gone to New York mostly because without Finn, she didn't really have anything else to do in Lima. Kurt had text her and mentioned that a couple of the Warblers would be there, and that she could catch up with them if she wanted. She hadn't really thought about it that much, but when she got to New York, and realised that she didn't really have anywhere to stay for the long term, seeing as school doesn't start up for another month or so, she decided to get in contact with Wes, who apparently had an apartment that he and David had brought on the off chance, they should need to be in New York for school. It wasn't that far from the main sights of New York, and it was nice that Wes and David were waiting for her outside when she climbed out of the cab with every single one of her possessions. David looked at Wes, who just shrugged, then grabbed a couple of Rachel's bags, and showed her to the apartment. They're on the twentieth floor, because apparently the higher up they are, the less likely they are to be robbed, considering most thieves prefer to be in and out, and not spend their time in an elevator, or running up and down stairs. Rachel didn't really believe the logic, but didn't say anything, after all, she's staying here rent free until school starts, so she can't look a gift horse in the mouth. Wes takes her into the spare third room, and places her bags down on the bed, smiling at her, before turning to leave the room, grabbing out his phone to text Kurt, let him know that she is staying with them. Rachel was texting Finn, hoping that he was going to see her before he left for California. When she didn't get an immediate reply, she threw he phone onto the bed, and went to explore the apartment. It's not overly large, big enough so that they're not all on top of one another, but not as small as to be squished against the walls. Wes had forgotten to mention that Kurt had arranged this whole thing so that she would begin to move on from Finn, who had apparently already moved to California. Wes and David would be moving back to Ohio, to go to school in Cleveland, but were discussing leaving the apartment for Rachel whilst she's here, and she can have a couple of her friends move in with her, the ones going to school in New York, like Santana and Artie. This would be what they suggest to her later tonight, but for now, they're going to let her settle in, and then maybe tell her about Finn.

The two former Warblers and Rachel decide to order pizza for dinner. Surprisingly, Rachel doesn't feel awkward around the two. To be honest, she hasn't spent that much time around them, but they don't seem to be bothered by one another, and now she can actually stand talking to them, without other people calling out to her that she's a traitor. She never really thought that, she's just very competitive. Most who know her well, know that about her. But Wes and David aren't that bad, and apart from being idiots, according to Kurt, she can pretty much put up with them. They're talking about letting Rachel have the apartment whilst she's in college, considering that Wes owns it, but because he and David are moving back to Cleveland, they're not going to be staying here. Rachel says excitedly that she'd love to have the apartment, and suggests letting Santana and Artie move in with her, to which Wes and David announces that they had the same idea. The apartment is in Upper Manhattan, and Wes had mentioned something about Sebastian, one of the other Warblers, who is attending Columbia, living here if she wants someone else. Rachel told them to leave the numbers for the Warblers staying in New York, and then listened as Wes and David talked about something they had done in highschool. To hear stories about Kurt from someone _other _than Kurt, is strange. She could never imagine him at another school, but then he went to Dalton, and the New Directions was a lot different. She and Finn got closer because of Kurt's departure in some way though, because he missed his brother and Rachel missed her best-friend, and they missed him together. She was so distracted by thoughts of her ex-boyfriend, that she didn't hear Wes mention movies. She was about to reply, when her phone chimed with a text from Kurt, in response to her previous question about why Finn wouldn't be coming to New York. He's already in California. Wes was reading over her shoulder, and mentioned that Finn had told them he was moving to California early, because there was just too much in Lima that he didn't want to think about. Rachel could understand, after all that is why she came to New York early isn't it? She put her phone down, and suggested a couple of movies to the boys, who dropped the subject… clearly it wasn't something she wanted to talk about anymore. They started off watching _Fast and Furious _mostly because when Rachel mentioned that she _hadn't _seen it, the looks of pure shock on the two faces of her roommates, led her to telling them to put it on, which they did. Wes explained a basic plot of the story to her, and then that they're watching them in chronological order, not order or release. Rachel frowned in confusion, but didn't say anything, setting back on their small couch with a bowl of popcorn, that had appeared out of nowhere when David sat back down. Most of the night, Rachel didn't pay attention to the movies, she was more focussed on why Finn didn't tell _her _he was leaving for California early. She knows they broke up, but still wants to be friends with him.

* * *

When Wes got up in the morning, David was sitting at their dining room table, flipping through the catalogue about classes for school, and drinking orange juice. It's quiet, which is different than he'd expected, because to be honest, living with Rachel could have had its downside. But he's happy that he wasn't woken by her singing some godawful Broadway number at the top of her lungs, whilst walking around the apartment in her pyjamas. Although the stupid part of his brain tells him that it wouldn't be that bad, he doesn't think he could stand to be with Rachel that way… mostly because he doesn't know her that well yet. But you never know what the future might hold. It was only when he went to check why she wasn't up, that he saw the note sitting on her bed. Wes called out to David, and he ran into the room, noticing that it's mostly girl things and gagging, before reading over Wes' shoulder. Rachel had booked a flight to California, under the pretext of going to see Mercedes, but both former Warblers knew better than that. Wes pulled out his phone, sent a quick text to Finn as a warning, then to Kurt, and then to Rachel. She needs the closure, and he's not going to stand in her way. Besides, they're not moving back to Ohio until the end of August, so they're going to be in close proximity. If she's going to come home heartbroken and lying in bed the whole time, he wants to be prepared. David doesn't seem that bothered by the whole thing, but understands where his best-friend is coming from. On a flight from New York to Los Angeles, Rachel is reading a book she randomly grabbed out of her still unpacked boxes. Mercedes had said she'd pick her up at the airport, as she's also in LA at the moment, looking for off campus housing. All of her friends have these big ideas. She's living in an apartment with Wes and David, who up until the beginning of the month, she wouldn't be seen dead talking to, let alone living with. But the message she got from the former Head Warbler made her realise that they're going to be there for her, and she felt a little touched by that gesture. She needs to see it for herself. She needs the closure. If Finn is moving forward without them, then she needs to be able to let it go too. She honestly thought that her relationship with Finn would last past highschool, like Kurt and Blaine… _but your relationship is nothing like Kurt and Blaine's…. _she thought to herself, sighing.

When she landed in California, and found Mercedes, she was already beginning to regret her decision to come here. Especially when they got to UCLA. Mercedes was showing Rachel around, just chatting aimlessly to her, whilst the brunette just pretended to listen. If she's going to run into Finn, then it's going to be here. They're just about to enter the library, when Rachel spots her ex-boyfriend, leaning against a wall, laughing with another girl, a smile on his face that reaches from one side to the other. He never smiled like that much towards the end of their relationship. He looks kind of… smitten with the girl he's talking to. Mercedes wraps her in a hug, and promises her that it will get easier, to see him with someone else, and that Kurt is right… if it's meant to be, and eventually they will find their way back to one another. But surprisingly to Mercedes, and to herself, she doesn't feel the stabbing pain of loss, she feels a little lighter. Seeing Finn happy, makes her happy. Sure, she'll always have a part of her that still wishes it was her making him laugh like that, but seeing him, happy that way, she's certain that she doesn't need to be convinced that they're over any longer. She can finally move forward. Mercedes walked through the library and out the other side of the building, listening to Rachel's tirade about how large the whole place is, and how are they ever going to find anything in here. Soon enough, they found a small café near campus, and Mercedes spotted a small apartment block a little down from that, which she asked Rachel to check out with her after lunch. The brunette was off in her own world, thinking of the future, but surprisingly, when Mercedes asked about it, she didn't see Finn… well she saw him as a friend, but nothing else.

'He'll be okay Rach, I'll keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't get hurt,' she said, as they went in to view one of the vacant apartments

'I know. It's just…'

'Moving on is always going to be difficult Rachel. But if Finn can do it, so can you. You both deserve to be happy,'

'You're absolutely right Mercedes, it's time to turn over a new leaf,' she replied, laughing and hugging her friend, as she claimed that the apartment she's standing in is "the one".

* * *

For most of the night, Kurt had been quiet. Blaine was worried, because his boyfriend is usually much more vocal about what they're going to do whilst they're here, and what is going to happen tomorrow when they get to Boulder. Nick and Jeff have been discussing some ideas, and he knows that Kurt is trying to change the subject, because every time they bring it up, he either changes the channel on the TV, starts talking about something entirely different, or makes a bold statement about something none of them really care about. It's a coping mechanism and Nick notices it immediately. He also has a feeling he knows why Kurt is avoiding the topic. He's having a freak-out and doesn't want to cause a rift between them again. Still reeling from what happened in Hays, and even before that, he has to make his best-friend realise that they're so close to getting the answers he deserves… hell that they all deserve. They've been through this ride together, and they're going to end it together. Back in Lima, this was just a pipe dream. Kurt could talk about what he would say and do, and what the consequences would be off those actions. He dreamed of knocking on that door, having her open it, and then him reel off some speech about having more integrity than her, and how abandoning him only made him stronger, that he never needed her to become the person that he is today, and that her leaving almost killed him. He has the speech written to perfect in his head, but now they're one day away from being in Boulder, and the only words in his head are telling him to turn around and run, back to Lima where he can't be hurt anymore. It's telling him that he's dragged them along on this trip, and it's only caught up to him now, what Nick has been saying for years… that it's not worth it. That she doesn't deserve to know, that he can't do anything to change it. This is when the pacing starts. He knows there are three people watching him, pacing back and forth, and the silence that fills the room is another indicator that they're worried. Hell, he's having a panic attack, and all he can think about it going home… running away. Like she did. That's when the erratic breathing starts, and Nick is standing beside him, telling him to take deep breaths, tell them what's going on.

He stops pacing and takes deep breaths, moving to sit beside Blaine on the bed, Nick grabbing a chair, and turning it to face Kurt, knees against the end of the bed, Kurt leaning against the headboard. Blaine asks him if he wants something to eat or drink, then makes a joke about something, and Jeff chuckles, but Nick glares at both of them, and then there is silence… before Jeff starts playing angry birds, and Kurt smiles a little, but doesn't look up at any of them. If he wouldn't get in trouble, he would stand up and slap him over the head, tell him to talk, the same way he does to David sometimes, but he's caused Kurt enough pain this last week, and they need to be on the same page now. They're so close. They are on the same page. He just has to prove that to Kurt. So Nick starts talking in typical Nicks-pep-talks way. Yes, he has a facial expression he does when he's about to give someone a pep talk. Most like the way you can tell when someone is mad, well you can tell when Nick is about to either rant about something, or give a pep-talk. He remembers one time, back when they were ten, and Nick was talking to him about saving the wildlife, and how they should be doing everything they can, and then it turned into a pep talk, when he tried to get Kurt to agree with him, by stating the facts, and telling him nothing but terrible things to make him feel sorry for the universe. Of course, it didn't work, because for the same amount of time that Nick has been giving pep-talks, Kurt has been developing a defence against them. But tonight, he doesn't put that wall up. It stays down, and he can see Nick's emotions about to get the better of him, and Blaine's hand slip into his, lightly squeezing, just so he knows that he's there. Jeff watches the interaction between his boyfriend, and Klaine on the bed, and when everything is silent, Nick starts, after a deep breath, he turns to face Kurt.

'Kurt, we are doing this. For thirteen years, you have waited, wondered, knowing the questions you've had since you were five would remain unanswered. I have been waiting just as long. We have driven all this way and god damn it Kurt Hummel, we deserve to know the truth. We deserve to have the answers you've been waiting to hear. I don't care what happens tomorrow. For all I know, we could get there, and everything she tells us could be a load of bullshit, but then at least you'll know what kind of person she is. All that stuff I've been telling you, about letting it go… fucking forget that. I was wrong Kurt. You deserve to know. Get mad Kurt, get angry, and then get answers. Blaine, Jeff and I are right here beside you, and we're not going anywhere… ever!' Nick said, as Kurt was just gaping at him, like he hadn't been expecting it

'How do we know it's going to be worth it Nick? Nothing she says is going to make it better. She's never going to be my mother, never going to be in my life,' Kurt replied

'Who cares Kurt? You have me, and Blaine and Jeff. Your dad, Carole… hell all of the Warblers and New Directions. I know you know deep down, turning back now would make you just like her,' Nick said, and Kurt looked at him, seeing the truth in his eyes

'I'm nothing like her. I will never be anything like her. I deserve to know the truth, I deserve to have closure in my life. I can do this… _we _can do this… and we will do this…,' Kurt replied, mostly for himself, but Nick hi-fived him and then declared that they're watching another movie, whilst Blaine winked at him and smiled… he's finally going to face this part of his life… finally, he's going to get the answers he's been wanting for thirteen years….

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Elizabeth shows up at one of Dalton's Family Days to see Kurt perform**

_On a whim, she had made the trip to Westerville. She has friends, in Ohio, who have children that go to Dalton, who mentioned to her the family day that is coming up. It was only when she saw a photo of the Dalton Academy Warblers, that she realised she could change everything right now. It's a last minute decision. She hasn't seen her ex-husband since she took off twelve years ago, and she knows that Kurt won't see her, she's going to sneak in and hide in the back, hopefully no one will know, but she has to see him. She's been wanting to see him since she left and got sober. She's been missing her son. That makes her sound like a terrible person, and what she did, she isn't excusing herself from, but that was years ago. Right now, what she needs is to get to Westerville. Kurt was straightening his tie for the third time, hands shaking nervously. Nick was standing beside him, whispering in his ear that the has to relax, because if he fucks this up, Wes will have all their heads on a platter, and play smash ball with them and the huge Thor replica hammer he stupidly brought off of Amazon. There is something wrong with all of his friends, but he won't tell them that to their faces, because he's a nice person. Blaine looks charming, as always, and softly kisses Kurt's cheek as they prepare to take their place on the stage. Burt is in the audience, with his new girlfriend Carole, and Kurt knows that a couple of the New Directions are here, even though Rachel promised they're not scoping out what they're performing at regionals, Kurt can't help but be sussed of his former team mates. After all, isn't that what they wanted him to do at one point? Actually, they wanted him to exploit his friendship with Nick, but that's not the point. _

_Elizabeth manages to slip in the back, and stand amongst a group of parents who missed out on seats. The curtains open on the stage, to reveal the Warblers, and she smiles when she spots Kurt, standing on the far right side, and smiling happily. She takes a moment to scan the room, spotting her ex-husbands baseball cap on his head, seeing the slight smile on his face, and the woman beside him, grinning cheerfully. Some highschool students in the front row, are cheering loudly for Kurt… not the whole team, just for her son. In a moment of sheer loss, she is overcome with the emotions she should have felt all those years previous. She wants to go up there, pull her son into a hug, tell him she's sorry, and that she'll never leave him again, but she knows that would never happen. In the real world, she would never be the one to go to Kurt. Kurt would be the one to come to her, and part of that scares her. She's never been one for sentimentality, and when she ran away, all that was going through her mind was that the life she had built for herself, wasn't what she wanted. She didn't want a house, or a husband or a kid. She had convinced herself that she didn't need the perfect American dream to be happy. When she go up in the morning, it was with a lack of enthusiasm, and having Bipolar didn't help. The performance is over soon enough, and everyone cheers, she blends into the crowd, clapping and backing towards the door. She stops for a moment, looking around the room at parents hugging their children, and she spots Burt and his girlfriend greeting and hugging Kurt, a taller boy smiling and then calling over the other teenagers. She doesn't realise she's lost the crow until she sees Burt look over at her, and she knows that he saw her, because the look on his face is one of shock, surprise and anger. She turns and leaves before anything else can happen. Because that's what she's best at… leaving... _

* * *

The phone rings through the silence, and she's rushing in the door to answer it. She doesn't check the caller ID because most of the time, it's just her friend from work, asking if she wants to meet for a movie or something. But this time, the voice she hears on the other end of the phone is one that she doesn't ever expect to hear again. To be honest, after he visited, she didn't expect her life to become the mess that it had been again. He had offered to give her pictures of Kurt that she'd missed out on, but she refused, stating that she has moved on from that life. It made Burt angry, but that's the truth he'd come for. They don't talk about anything important, and their conversation is stilted and awkward. Burt mentions something about the shop, and Elizabeth tells him about her own work, and her friends, and then changes the topic to one about a book she knows he's never read. She should just hang up the phone, it's useless to prolong a conversation they're never going to be able to have with one another, so why should she stand here and pretend that this is anything other than that. A few weeks back, her ex had come to see her, mostly because he'd been trying to find her, to get her to sign some paperwork that would release her from everything she would ever be responsible or tied to in Lima. They hadn't said much then either, and her new husband, hadn't been too fond of Burt being there but they had shared a beer and sport talk, so she supposes they go along. But this is just an awkward conversation. She's about to hang up, but then Burt says something that makes her go silent… that makes her clutch the back of the chair, her knuckles going white. It's her fight or flight instinct deciding what choice she's going to make. The practical and the logical sides of her brain are battling it out.

'Kurt is going to be in Boulder tomorrow. He's with some friends and they're going to see you. He wants… he deserves to have those answers Elizabeth. I suggest you give them to him' Burt said, and then hung up, leaving everything else up in the air.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: The group finally arrive at Boulder. They check into their hotel, and then head straight to Elizabeth's house. After thirteen years of waiting, and wondering, Kurt takes that first step towards answers, when he knocks on the door to her house. Wes tries to fight his developing feelings for Rachel, who is busy moving in Santana and Sebastian. David must convince Wes to return to Cleveland, and leave behind something that will never work out, but then a phone call from Nick makes him doubt that returning to Ohio is what he really wants. Finn and Alisha get closer, and he tells her about his brother and the New Directions. After confronting Elizabeth, and finally closing that part of his life, the group drive to the airport, and fly back to Ohio. Kurt realises that all the family he needs, is right there with him. Elizabeth begins to regret her choices, and flies to Ohio to try and convince Kurt to give her another chance. Flashbacks include: The Warbler Road Trip of 2014, Kurt meets Wes, David and the rest of the Warblers, a fight between Kurt and his father, when he's ten threatens to tear them apart. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	14. Answers Don't Fix a Broken Heart

**A/N: Hello people of Fiction-ville. This chapter... well what can I say... the title says it all. I hope you like it. Personally, it's my favourite and I hope it's one of yours too. If not, that's cool. I hope you're enjoying this story. I know chapter Fourteen spells the end is near, but I don't know how much further I can go. I might go to the beginning of college, I might do a sequel, I'm not sure. But I know that there is going to be a couple more chapters at least. I hope you like this one. It's big. Read and Review. I appreciate them, though only if they're nice, or constructive. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D. PS: the time stamps in this chapter are the evolving storyline. Everything else is just thrown in to expand it and make you wait longer... JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Answers Don't Fix a Broken Heart**

**June 13****th**** 10:00am**

The house is white on the outside. It's got a small driveway, pavement path that leads from the sidewalk to the front door, and flowers in the small gardens that line the windows. Nick comments something about it just looking like a normal house, that he was expecting a moat and dragon protecting the boarder. Kurt doesn't laugh, he doesn't move. He's frozen to the spot. For everything he's said about this trip, for all the fights he's had with his father, and everything that he and Nick and Blaine and Jeff have been through, and the planning of this whole trip, there is something in his gut now, nagging at him… something that wants to get out, that wants to make him scream at the top of his lungs. He's surprised no one in the neighbourhood has come out of their houses to ask what the hell four college aged boys are doing just standing on the sidewalk. Not that he's surprised, but what would he tell someone if they approached? What will be the first question out of his mouth when he finally lays eyes on his mother? Nick is watching from where he is standing with Jeff, and even he has that feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he grabs Jeff's hand for support. He wants to push Kurt up the path, make him do this, because he's been talking about it for so long, and Nick deserves answers too. He deserves to know, why this woman, would desert his best-friend and his father… he wants to understand what went through her mind as much as Kurt does. The countertenor just stands still for a moment more, trying to gather his thoughts. He honestly doesn't know if he's ever going to be able to do this. Everything he's ever wanted answers to, is waiting for him behind that door, behind those curtains. Suddenly, he feels Blaine's hand slip into his, and then a soft kiss pressed to his cheek. With that, he gets the strength he needs to make his way up the path, to the front door. Blaine is still beside him, Nick and Jeff behind them. Kurt raises his arm, balls his hand into a fist… and knocks on the large white door…

**9:05am**

It's the town sign, welcoming them into Boulder, Colorado that does it. The minute they hit that line, Blaine feels Kurt tense up beside him in the back seat. He reaches over and takes his boyfriend's hand, squeezing it to make sure that Kurt knows he's there, and without so much as looking at him, can tell that Kurt is already calming himself down. After they check into their hotel, they're going to go and see her. He's half an hour away from answers he's been waiting thirteen years for. He wants to be reasonable and rational about the whole thing, but the other part of him wants to pace back and forth, and talk a million miles an hour about how he suddenly thinks this is a bad idea, that they shouldn't have come here in the first place. But he holds all of this inside, because he wants to be able to keep it together when he sees her. When they finally get into their room, Kurt begins slowly unpacking his suitcase, going through every outfit he brought, sorting through them, matching them together, and then staring at them. Nick announces that it will take them fifteen minutes to get to Elizabeth's from their hotel, so they have to leave by quarter to. Kurt nods, taking in the information, as Blaine tells him that he should wear something comfortable, enough that he's not stilted, like at Dalton, but neat enough so she sees the kind of person she's missed out on raising for the last thirteen years. Kurt reshuffles the clothes he's laid out on the bed, and begins playing matching games again. Sometimes, Nick is amused by how his best friend can just completely loose himself in finding an outfit, other times he's not, but right now, he's so nervous himself, he too begins going through his and Jeff's bags to find them something nice to wear. Blaine is wearing his good jeans, and a nice shirt that Kurt brought him a while back for their first year anniversary. It's smart casual, which is how Blaine usually dresses anyway, when he's not wearing those ridiculous sunglasses and skinny jeans that don't leave much to the imagination if Nick doesn't say so himself…

* * *

Santana makes use of the new apartment, to tell Rachel her plans for their time spent here. Sebastian is just excited to have a place to live when school starts up again in two months, and Rachel is so pre-occupied with helping them, she doesn't know that Wes had become completely enamored with her. David can see that his best-friend is developing feelings for the former Queen Diva of McKinley Highschool. He also knows that when Wes falls, he does so to the max. Way too deep too fast. Rachel doesn't need that now, especially not after everything that happened with Finn when she was in LA. Of course, one day, she and Wes might connect, but not before he returns to Cleveland and goes to school with David… because he's not letting Wes throw everything away for this. He's been through that one, he isn't doing it again. Besides, what would Blaine do if he found out that Wes wasn't moving to Cleveland? It's a moment like this when he needs the former Lead Warbler to help him in this situation, but in the last hour he's tried to ring three times, and gotten nowhere. Blaine is either ignoring his phone deliberately, or just pre-occupied, and then he wishes that he didn't think that, because he gives himself unwanted images of him and Kurt. For the most part, it's just Wes staring after Rachel, who is laughing with Sebastian and Santana, looking at something on the girl's phone, probably a picture of Brittany. In the moment, he can see her. Not the competition, not the annoying bossy diva he's used to, he just sees Rachel. He can see her in a way that no one else, except maybe her ex has ever seen her. She's different than all his other girlfriends, or she will be, if he manages to build up the courage to ask her out. But he can feel David glaring into his neck, silently willing him to not fall for Rachel, because he has to leave to go to college. _Maybe I could just stay here for the next two months… see how it works out? _Wes thought to himself, and turns to ask David a question, only to see the expression on his face. The one he gives when he knows that sooner or later, he's going to be the one picking up the pieces of Wes' broken heart.

* * *

**9:45am**

They climb into the car, Nick driving, Kurt and Blaine in the back seat, Jeff in the passenger seat beside Nick. There is silence, no one says anything, no music is playing, and the mood is sober. They're not excited, or sad, they're not really anything. Kurt takes his boyfriend's hand, leans into him a little, closes his eyes, and tries to imagine the scenario he wants to take place in his head… but he knows it's just his own version of a fairy-tale. His mother isn't going to open the door, pull him into a hug, and fix everything with a click of her fingers. He knows that isn't realistic. He's also building a wall that can't be penetrated if he discovers something that he doesn't already know, or she says something that will destroy his apparently "fragile heart". He's stronger than people give him credit for. The red stop lights are killing him, it's prolonging whatever he's feeling, like he is about tell Nick to turn around every time they have to stop. But he holds his tongue, his conscience telling him that he's about five minutes from thirteen years of questions… he's about to get answers to everything he's ever wanted to know. He hasn't seen a picture of his mother since his father removed them all from their house, so he doesn't know what she looks like, he imagines her in his mind, trying to gather memories from that night, in the car, her frantically throwing clothes around, pulling him out of the house, and over to the car… her blonde hair flows down her back, cascades just below her shoulder bones, covering the collar of the light blue blouse she's wearing. Her blue eyes are wide and crazy, but in a way that makes her look like she just wants to be free and wild. Now he looks back on it, and realises that there is a different reason…. And when he opens his eyes again, they're parked in a nice neighbourhood, in front of a white house…

* * *

Wes and Rachel are laughing about something that David did earlier, when he almost dropped one of the dishes Santana had handed him, and swore in a way that reminded them both of Blaine. It was their laughter that was infectious, spreading to Sebastian and Santana. They were too far into the giggles to notice that he had left the room, gone to clean up and re-evaluate his plan to get Wes back to Ohio. He has to stop him from falling, because he knows that this… _thing _he wants with Rachel will never work. Wes, on the other hand, has been in communication, via text, with Nick. It started out one sided, but he must have sent enough annoying dancing emoji's to get the other boy to begin replying, because now he's calling him. Wes excuses himself to leave the room, and moves into the bedroom to answer the phone. He can hear that Nick is annoyed on the other side of the phone, explaining that they're about to go into something very important, and he doesn't have long. Wes tells him what he's been thinking, about Rachel and about whether or not going after her is a good idea. Nick listens from his place leaning against the car in Boulder. Wes is ranting, and when he makes eye contact with Blaine and Jeff, he rolls his eyes and mouths_ Wes_ to them, and then both nod in understanding. He walks away from them a little, still watching Kurt, and focuses his attention back on their former Head of Council. He has been developing these feelings for a while, ever since he got to know Rachel and realised that she isn't the person most people describe her as. He hears silence for a moment, and then he hears David's voice, telling Wes that whatever he's thinking of doing, is stupid. He's coming back to Ohio, and he's going to attend college, and forget about his stupid silly crush. Nick hears David remind Wes of all the girls they're going to be around and how many chances he'll have with them, and then it's just Wes, sighing into the phone.

'Wes listen to me. If you think that this crush you have on Rachel is worth fighting for, then do it. Go for it. You will never know, until you try. If you stand back and wait for something to happen, for a sign to tell you that it's right, you'll be waiting for years. Cleveland will still be there if you defer. NYU will still be there if you decide to move. School will always be there, but Rachel won't. You have to take a chance on love Wes. If this is what you think will make _you _happy, then go for it. But do it for you, not for David,'

'What if I put my heart out there, and it doesn't work out? I have never felt this way about anyone else before Nick,'

'Then it doesn't work. You pick yourself up, make peace with it, become friends with Rachel again, and move back to Ohio. Besides, we all know you're really meant to be with David…' Nick replied, chuckling when Wes spluttered

'That is so old. You guys need knew puns. Thanks for your help Nick, You've made it a little clearer now,' Wes replied, and then the line went silent, and his mind was a lot clearer.

* * *

**10:03am**

Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand as the knob on the front door turns, and then opens, and it's like everything slows down a little. Finally, she's standing in front of them. Elizabeth Mercer, the woman who abandoned him years ago. Kurt doesn't speak first, it's Elizabeth, inviting them inside. The four boys enter the house, standing in the hallway, waiting for the ball to drop. Elizabeth leads them into the dining room, and they take their seats around the table, Blaine sitting as close to Kurt as he can, without being in his lap. It takes him a moment, as he watches the blonde woman move some things around to make room, catching the way her blonde hair still cascades below her shoulder blades, but her eyes aren't as blue as he remembered, and she looks a lot paler. Elizabeth looks up at Kurt, and can immediately see herself in him. She wants to reach out, to touch him, to see if this is real. For the last couple of nights, she's been having a recurring dream about this day. Now that it's here, she doesn't know what to say, who is going to speak first, but she knows that Kurt isn't the same person anymore… not by far. She takes in the scene. There are three other boys with her son, the one sitting so close to Kurt, she knows they're dating. Something in her swells, and a sense of pride washes over her, that her little boy can be so brave, so openly happy with another boy. On the other side of the table, to her right, she notices that Nick is glaring at her, and immediately clicks in her mind that this is the best-friend. The brother. The one that Burt said has more anger in him than the other three combined. Jeff remains neutral, just resting his hand lightly on Nick's arm, knowing that if he wasn't, there would be yelling. It's not an awkward silence per say, it's just a silence. Elizabeth takes in everything about her son, the son she hasn't seen in thirteen years, and then tries to get out a question, but can't. She asks if anyone would like something to eat or drink, and then moves into the kitchen to put some snacks together. There is whispering in the dining room.

She tells herself that no matter the questions, she's going to be honest. She has to be, because that's why Kurt is here, to get the truth, and he's old enough to know if now. When she returns to the dining room, carrying a tray with some cookies, and glasses with orange juice, she notices that the shields have gone up. Over the years, plenty of people she has met have done that to her. Even her second son does it to her sometimes, no matter how much she wants to be let in, he just won't. It's Blaine, introducing himself as Kurt's boyfriend, who starts off the interrogation with a simple question: _Are you surprised we're here?_ She doesn't hesitate to answer, stating that she had a feeling when Burt rang her the other night and told her they were coming here. She went on to say that she has been expecting it for a long time, but when it got to this point, she didn't think it would ever happen. She stands, and quickly hurried into the lounge, returning with a large cardboard box, placing it on the table in front of her, before smiling, trying to lighten the mood a little. Nick, the best-friend/brother is the one who asks the next question: _How has your life changed? _It's one she wasn't expecting. She thinks for a moment, then answers. She's been through a lot in the last thirteen years. She tells them that she has another son, he's living with a family here in Boulder, but they have a relationship. Nick keeps his eyes on her the whole time, Blaine just feels Kurt squeeze his hand, listening to her talk about her second son, the one she didn't abandon. Part of her wishes that it were Kurt asking her these questions, but she knows these are the warm ups. He's saving the best until last. They're going to be here for a while, because they've got thirteen years to cover. When Nick is satisfied with her answer, he turns to the boy sitting beside him, who introduces himself as Jeff, and states that he's Nick's boyfriend, and Kurt's friend and classmate. He doesn't have a question, just a statement: _We want the truth. _It's simple really. Then she turns to Kurt…

'Why?' three letters, one meaning, so many answers

'Kurt… when I was running through the house, throwing things into a bag, and you came into the room, and thought it was a game, I just knew-'

'I didn't ask what happened. I asked why. Why did you leave? Why did you run? Why did you leave me alone at a gas station? Why?' Kurt stated, staring her straight in the eyes

'When I got to that gas station, and you went to the bathroom… for that moment I was alone without having to watch out for you or talk to your father… I was happy. Kurt, I left you there… because part of me, the screwed up part… didn't want you…' Elizabeth replied, and there would be absolutely nothing that would ever erase the looks on the faces of the four boys in front of her… especially Kurt's…

* * *

It's during their second date, as they're walking along the Santa Monica beach, that Alisha asks him about his family, and his life in Ohio. Finn just starts gushing. He can't help it. He tells her about Kurt and Blaine, the Warblers, Dalton, McKinley, and how he wishes that Kurt were here to meet her. Something in him stirs when Alisha makes him promise that one day, maybe on the holidays, Finn will take her back to Ohio, and she can finally meet the famed Kurt Hummel and co. The taller boy agrees, and takes her hand, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips. They've been getting closer over the last week since they met. Alisha is so much different from Rachel. She doesn't have that desire to be top of everything that his ex-had, and even though she's competitive, she also understands that losing isn't the 'be all, end all'. They walk far enough so that Finn has time to tell her about all of the New Directions in detail. She talks about her school, and how she and her ex had a pretty nasty break-up, that all she wanted was some space to find herself again. It's something they both agree on, and even though they haven't made it official yet (they've only known each other a week), they know that somewhere down the road, maybe before school starts, or during, they're going to be ready to completely let one another into their lives. Finn fails to mention that Mercedes had called him, told him that Rachel had come to LA to try and get him back, but backed out at the last minute. He doesn't want to ruin what he hasn't even got yet, and talking any more in depth about their exes at this point, would be relationship suicide. For the most part, they've both had previous relationships, and bad experiences. That's all well and good. They keep their hands joined as they walk, Alisha curling into Finn as the cold air runs off the water, and when he takes his jacket off to give it to her, she smiles up at him, thanking him before grabbing his hand again… _yep. Definitely nothing like Rachel…. _Finn thought, making a mental note to call Kurt and talk to him, find out how it went with his mother. That's a conversation he's dreading… and looking forward to at the same time.

* * *

**10:37am**

Elizabeth had been told that Kurt got into Harvard Law School, that he was the top of their class, has the biggest heart, and is going to rule the world as a first class lawyer in years to come. She's impressed, lamenting on all her failures in her life. She wasn't expecting sympathy, and therefore wasn't surprised when she wasn't shown any. Nick asked her about her drug use, and she talks about the tough time she had after Jared was born. She settled down after that, and told Kurt that she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Jeff asks her what that means, and she tells them. She explains that the day she took off with Kurt, she had gone off her meds, was a little crazy, didn't know what she was doing, but that she saw the life she wanted, and it wasn't in Lima, Ohio. It was another knife to Kurt's already fragile heart, but the shield was holding up so far. He had the answer to the why question. He has the answer to the half-sibling questions and most of the other things Nick had told him in the folder he'd given his father. When Blaine started to ask her about regrets, they heard the front door open, and then a man appeared, who Nick assumed was her husband Malcom. He greeted them quickly, and then left them alone again. Kurt didn't change his expression, or the tone of his voice when he asked about how they had met. This led to Elizabeth talking about her previous abusive relationships, Jared's father, making a fresh start, almost drying from an overdose, and what she wishes she could have done back then. But it's not back enough for Kurt, and Nick sees it before the others. He knows that Kurt wants to ask if she regrets leaving, if she wishes she could have been a part of his life, if she would want to be a part of it now, but he holds back, and Nick hates that.

'Do you regret it? Leaving me and Dad?' Kurt asked monotone

'No, I don't regret it,'

'Do you wish that you could have been a part of my life? Do you _want _to be a part of it now?' Kurt asked, and Blaine was dreading the answer

'Kurt, I have no regrets. Not being in your life… I couldn't live a lie. I couldn't be there. I would have ruined you. Besides, look at you. You didn't need me there all those years. You don't need me there now…so to answer your question Kurt… No,'

'You think not being in my life _saved me_? Are you kidding me? I tried to kill myself when I was twelve. I've been through more in my life by age fifteen, than anyone else in this room. I wanted nothing more, than to get home, and hear my mother singing, or laughing, or asking me about my day. I wished sometimes, that all the other kids who still had their mothers would let me live vicariously through them. Mandy was the one who found me. Nick's mother brought me back to dad. If you didn't want me in the first place, then why even bother? Don't sit there, and tell me, that after thirteen years, what you did was to "save me". I thought getting the answers to these questions would somehow make me feel better, would heal me in some way that I would be able to let go. But you know what, my father is once again right…. Answers don't fix a broken heart. I can finally let you go, because I realise now, that the only family I need, are my friends, my boyfriend, and my father, step-mother and brother… I hope one day, you do end up regretting everything you missed out on, because then you'll realise that I'm the thing that could have saved you….' Kurt replied, and walked out of the room, quickly followed by Nick, Jeff and Blaine…

* * *

**11:30am **

Kurt didn't break down until they got back to their hotel room. Nick and Jeff decided to go and check out the mall, leaving Blaine and Kurt alone. The two boys sat on their bed, Kurt just sobbing into Blaine's arms, mumbling incoherently, Blaine just telling him that he's so proud of Kurt for doing what he did, that he is strong, loved and wanted. They are flying out of Denver tomorrow, it's only a half hour drive to the airport, but they don't want to drive all the way back to Ohio. He knows he doesn't have the stamina for it, and Kurt just wants to get out of here. But for tonight, they're going to try and just relax, after all, when they get back, it's pretty much just preparing for school. They have to go to Brookline to check out and get their house ready for when they start school, and then its freshmen orientation. They've got some big milestones coming. They've been together now for fourteen months, and after everything they've been through, their relationship is now stronger than ever. Eventually, Kurt falls asleep, and Blaine manages to move out from under him, without waking him, to call Burt and let them know that they're going to be home tomorrow. He asks how it went, but Blaine doesn't tell him over the phone. Burt groans, he knows that meant it didn't go well at all. They talk for a moment, Burt mentioning to Blaine to get Kurt to call Finn when he's up to it, and then they hang up, sharing a quick 'see you tomorrow', before hanging up. Blaine just watched his boyfriend sleep, in a non-creepy way of course, then sent a text to Nick to let him know what had happened. It was the first time, in almost thirteen years, that Kurt had had a goodnight sleep, without being constantly plagued by nightmares, and dreams that he thought might knock the life out of him. When he woke up, it was two in the afternoon, and Nick, Jeff and Blaine were deep into a game of Monopoly. In that moment, hearing their jaunts and laughter, Kurt realised that he doesn't need anyone else… that his family has been with him all along… he closes his eyes, leaning back against the headboard, and smiles…

* * *

Kurt was right to wish that one day she would regret her choices. It's bad enough that she only gets to see Jared on some days, she's barely in his life. Of course, she has never been in Kurt's life… never watched him graduate, never taught him how to drive, never listened to him gush about his first kiss, or have the awkward 'first time' conversation. The box on the table in front of her contained pictures of her son, letters and photocopy's that Burt had sent her over the years. A picture of Kurt with the New Directions, all named on the back, a photocopy of his participation certificate in basketball, another picture of Kurt dressed up as a tiger for the pre-school production. In that moment, with the words still ringing in her mind, she stands up, rushes into her bedroom, and begins throwing things into a bag. Malcom just watches her as she runs around the house frantically, and when she notices him standing there, she looks over at him, tells him that she has to do this, she has to tell Kurt that she does have regrets, to ask him to let her back into his life, even if it's just pictures or an email every now and then. Malcom kisses her, tells her that she should do what she has to, then come back to him if it doesn't work out. She nods, promising, and tells him to book her a flight to Ohio. She's going to go to Ohio, convince her son to give her another chance…. Because Kurt is right… she'll live to regret her choices…

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter: Kurt, Blaine, Nick and Jeff get back to Lima, and tell Burt what happened. Kurt tells his father that for the first time in a long time, he can finally let go of everything, that he has family right in front of him. The group prepare to move to Massachusetts, and Blaine has a question for Burt that could affect the future. David realises that he can't stand in the way of anyone's happiness, and tells Wes that he should do what he thinks is right. He's surprised at the choice his best-friend makes. Mercedes meets Alisha, and Finn hears about Kurt's visit with Elizabeth. He flies back to Ohio, and brings Alisha with him… they make it official: boyfriend/girlfriend. Rachel returns to Ohio, with the rest of the New Directions, when Schuester calls them back to McKinley one last time, to tell them some news. Blaine, Nick and Jeff invest in the perfect present for their house. Elizabeth lands in Ohio, and shows up at the Hudmel house, right in the middle of celebrations for send offs. Flashbacks include: The Warbler Road Trip of 2014, Kurt meets Wes, David and the rest of the Warblers, a fight between Kurt and his father when he's ten, threatens to tear them apart. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	15. That's Why We Have Each Other

**A/N: Good evening (or morning/afternoon depending where you are in the world). I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but I've been so busy with everything else. I'm going back to Uni, so I've been organising that, and in amongst work, and the family gatherings/birthdays and almost weddings, I've just had no time to sit and write, and I hate myself for it. But at last, here it is, chapter fifteen. Thanks to those of you still with me, and once again, my apologies for taking so long. Please enjoy. Read and Review. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: That's Why We Have Each Other**

They've only been back for an hour, and already, driving through the streets of Lima, Kurt feels as though he's still missing something. He's had the feeling ever since he got on the plane this morning. Blaine just watches his boyfriend, who is leaning his head on his hand, against the window. Nick and Jeff are singing in the front, to the radio, but Kurt doesn't hear the song, or his friends. When the pull into the drive of the Hudmel house, Burt and Carole are standing on the front porch, and it's the first time Kurt has perked up since they left Boulder. He gets out of the car, and is standing in front of his father. Burt just watches his son, as he slowly walks towards him, and when he's close enough to touch, Burt just yanks him into a hug, tells him that he loves him, missed him, and never wants him to leave like that again. Carole is hugging him too, muttering nonsense in his ear that makes him laugh, and then Nick, Jeff and Blaine are joining in, and they look weird, the six of them in one hug ball on the front porch, but Kurt doesn't let go of his dad, just curls into him, and listens as Carole and the boys head inside to help with lunch. Burt and Kurt follow shortly after, talking softly, and Blaine leaves them be, because he knows that they have lots to talk about. The house is pretty much silent, except for Carole cooking in the kitchen, and Nick trying to follow what she's saying, but failing miserably. He can't cook to save his life… but then again, that's what Jeff is for. Blaine just laughs, and then sighs when he pulls his phone out of his pocket, to see the fifty missed calls from David… _Fifty? New York must have killed him… _Blaine thought, dialing his number and rolling his eyes when he heard David's _'Finally you answer…' _on the other end. He moves into the hallway and listens to what the former council member has to say, and now he understands the conversation Nick was having with Wes the other day.

When they're all sitting around the dining table, eating lunch, the boys tell Burt and Carole what happened. Kurt just eats in silence, but can feeling them look over at him every now and then. He admires the way that Nick makes him sound like he's this massive hero or something. That kind of puts a new light on the horrible situation, especially when Carole gasps in shock, and covers her mouth with her hand when Nick tells her what Elizabeth said about not regretting anything. Burt clenches his cutlery until his knuckles are white, and makes Kurt promise that he's not going to get lost in this, that he's not going to become a white wash of emotions and go back to the person he was before all of this. The countertenor just looks at him, and Burt can see so much in his son's eyes, that he has to look away. Blaine grips his hand under the table, and Kurt smiles a little, which makes Nick change the subject, and talk about what they did whilst on their trip, and pulls out his phone to give a slideshow of the pictures he snapped along the way. Blaine chuckles when he blushes at a picture that Jeff obviously took when he wasn't looking. For a time, they're just laughing about everything, and then Kurt tells his father that he called Finn, and his brother is coming back to Lima to their farewell party and to see Schuester, and he's bringing someone they all have to meet. Carole winks at Burt, who just smirks, and Kurt knows that his parents are hiding something… but he knows all about it. Finn talks to him, because duh, they're brothers. He's missed calls from Mercedes, Rachel and David, but he doesn't really care at the moment because he just went back over his previous thought… his parents. Blaine is in the middle of telling Burt about their plans for the house, when Kurt's head jumps up so fast, he thought his boyfriend might get whiplash.

'Is everything okay?' he asked, and Kurt just grinned at him, a genuine smile that Blaine hasn't seen in a while

'He's fine, probably just had an image of you doing whatever you're doing to him under the table,' Nick replied, winking and Burt choked on his mouthful of drink, grunting when Kurt kicked him under the table, but the smirk was present

'Shut up Nick, you don't know what you're talking about,' Blaine said, blushing

'The entire time, my family has been right here in front of me. I never needed anything or anyone else. I have you, and Carole, Finn, Blaine and Nick and Jeff. Hell, the Warbler and New Directions as well… also in some strange way Schuester and Sue. For the first time in a long time, I can finally let everything go… I can move on,' Kurt said out loud, and if it were a noble prize speech, Blaine would've clapped, instead he settled for pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's cheek, and smiling

* * *

Alisha is kind of nervous. They've only been hanging out for a couple of weeks, but like Finn, she is already so far enamoured by him, that she can't seem to let him go. She is excited to meet his family, something that usually doesn't happen this early in a relationship. But she's prepared. They haven't had a chance to talk about what they're calling one another. At the moment, she just refers to him as her '_One'_ but that's sappy and not something to say to his family. When they land in Ohio, her hands start shaking, but Finn takes one as they walk out the gate towards the bag collection, and she takes a deep breathe. She wants to make this work, she hasn't felt this way about anyone ever. Her previous boyfriend was just something out of a highschool novel. But Finn… they're in college, and they have so much in common, and she doesn't care if it's too soon, or they've only been together two weeks, or what people think, she's falling for him hard, and she can sense that Finn is too, because he still is careful when he kisses her, pushes her hair behind her ears, caresses her face softly, and kisses her delicately, and she wants so badly to press back harder, to really kiss him, but that's for later when they decide what is actually going to happen. Finn has made it clear that they're not having sex until they are completely comfortable, because this isn't just a fling. It's a serious thing. Alisha beamed when he told her that… _as if he couldn't get any more romantic… _she thought. They made their way over to the car rental desk, and when they had the keys in their hand, Alisha followed Finn outside, smiling. Finn talks the whole way to Lima, tells stories about the New Directions, and his brother. She immediately knows that she and Kurt will get along well, and she really wants to meet Blaine. She's never really had gay friends, so this will be awesome. Not that it's the only reason she's going to like or hang out with them. Kurt already sounds like an amazing person, just by his personality. She's thrilled that Finn his opening up this part of his life to her.

When Finn pulled into his parent's driveway, he started to panic a little. _What if they don't like her? _He asked himself, and then realised that it's useless to worry, because Alisha is perfect, and if they don't like her, then too bad, because he's not letting her go. Kurt is the one who answers the door, and Finn pulls him into a hug before the former countertenor can even mutter a 'hey brother'. Alisha just watches as Finn jibes with Kurt a little, following them inside, and meeting up in the lounge area, where everyone is still sitting and chatting. Finn introduces Alisha to them, pushing her forward, and she waves awkwardly, but immediately comforts when Burt and Carole both stand and welcome her to their family. She smiles and hugs Carole, and Burt (awkwardly), then she grins brightly when Kurt appears in front of her, and before he can introduce himself, she's hugging him tightly, saying that she's heard all about him, and she already adores him. When she spots Blaine, she runs over to him, and does the same thing, then grins at Finn, who just shrugs when Kurt looks at him, gaping. They break into easy conversation with Alisha, and it's just the way Finn imagined it. Kurt sends his brother a nod, saying that he did good, and curls up closer to Blaine, who is playing a game of cards with Nick. Jeff is debating the differences between living in Massachusetts and living anywhere else with Burt, and Carole has silently decided that she's going to start planning her son's wedding. Finn closes his eyes, and thanks whoever made this happen, because he's actually really happy. Even from where he's sitting, Kurt can see that his brother is happier than ever. It's completely different than when he was with Rachel, because she's not screaming at him every five seconds, or throwing a tantrum. _This is going to be a ride, when she does find out that he's moved on_. _There might even be another tantrum…. _Kurt thought to himself, chuckling as Blaine lost to Nick again.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**The Warbler Road Trip of 2014**

_Of course, it had been Wes' idea. He wanted one last hoorah before they graduate. But this was one of the dumbest ideas Wes has ever had, and Blaine can begin to understand why they is a petition to kick him off the council going around. A week long road trip? Is he kidding? There are thirty boys, all crammed into a bus barely big enough to fit seven. Wes mustn't have been thinking when he organised this thing, because that isn't going to end well. David and Thad are standing by the entrance to Dalton, ticking names off a list. Both look up when Kurt only places one bag down by all the others, and smiles at them, before heading towards where Blaine is trying (and failing miserably) to talk Wes out of driving the bus. They have a driver, that's what the driver is for, even though the head council member wants to be the one to drive, so they can go at their own pace. Just like this idea being stupid, Wes driving…. Is like putting a camel in the driver's seat and telling it to navigate its way to wherever they're going. Speaking of, he has no idea where they're even heading, and he doesn't want to, because this whole thing is a waste of a week of their lives. A week they could be spending doing other things, like spending time with their families, or studying to pre-college classes, or organising other things that are more important. Blaine helps to load the bags into the bus, and then turns to find Kurt putting headphones in his ears, rolling his eyes, and trying to escape whatever the twins are talking about, moving to the back of the bus. He chuckles, sarcastically salutes Wes, then gets on the bus, and heads towards where Kurt is seated, begging with his eyes for Blaine to get rid of the twins. Elijah and Emmanuel leave the two on the back seat, and head to the middle where a few of the others are starting an "I Spy" contest… because you know, they're five… Apparently, they're going to spend the week driving around Ohio._

_It's exactly like the plan that Kurt has in his head. When he goes to locate his mother, he'll probably do something like this, drive and stop in places. But he doesn't know where she lives, so the hunt will be the exciting part. It's also going to be the daunting part, because he hasn't seen her in so long, so they won't have much to say to one another. Kurt tunes everything else out, and focuses on the book he's reading, and the music coming from his iPod. He can't blame his boyfriend for getting pulled into whatever game the Warblers are playing, because Blaine is hyperactive. He can't be still for too long. Nick and Jeff are watching Blaine and Wes as they come to a stale mate in the game of I Spy, with Blaine having the upper hand. Wes demands that he be given adequate time to answer the question, but it takes him all of three hours to give up. Just as they're pulling into a hotel in Cleveland, Wes figures out what Blaine was talking about. He spends the rest of the night debating the rules, that Blaine's clue wasn't adequate enough to be guessed. Kurt had gone back to the room about thirty minutes before the argument broke out, so when Blaine got there, he was surprised to find his boyfriend was still awake, wearing his glasses and reading. Blaine never knew that Kurt wore glasses, until he walked into his and Nick's dorm room one night, and saw the countertenor wearing them. They hadn't helped, only adding to the feelings that Blaine was hiding away at the time, and Kurt is aware of what his wearing glasses does to his boyfriend, which is why, every now and then, he'll just put them on for no reason. But tonight, he's actually wearing them for a purpose. Blaine gets changed into sleepwear, and climbs into bed beside Kurt, snuggling up to him, and listening to his breathing, head resting on his chest. Kurt read for another couple of minutes, then made to sleep, removing his glasses, and putting them down with his book, curling up to Blaine. _

* * *

_The next morning, at six, Wes wakes them all up room by room, and announces that they need to be back on the bus in thirty minutes, because they're going to Niagara Falls. Blaine looks at him like he's an idiot, but smiles when he slams the door in Wes' face. Surprisingly, they all managed to be back on the bus by six thirty, and on the road by six forty five. It's a three hour drive, plus tolls, and traffic, so they have three hours to kill along the way. David suggested another intense game of I Spy, and someone else suggested they should practice one of their songs for graduation. Another thought it would be a good idea to study, and Nick told everyone they should sleep, seeing as they were woken up at an ungodlike hour by a maniac who thought this would be a good idea. Traveling across country in a stupid bus that sounds like it's about to break down any moment, with nothing but whatever food they find wherever they stop, and thirty Warblers, who all have different ideas of what constitutes "fun". Through all the commotion, Blaine notices that Kurt doesn't take his eyes off the book he's reading. He hasn't even asked what it is that his boyfriend is reading, and when he does, Kurt looks up at him, guilty expression on his face, and raises the book so Blaine can see the title. It's the Barbri Legal Handbook. Blaine just chuckles, and kisses Kurt's cheek. Of course, Kurt would already be studying his pre-law classes. He's going to Harvard. That's no joking matter. Whether or not he gets in… well Blaine knows that he will. Kurt senses that Blaine wishes he'd brought one of his books, and then grunts when he feels Kurt drop a rather heavy binder in his lap. Blaine just smirks at him, and opens the first page of their "Yearbook" proofs, gathering a band of Warblers, looking at all the pictures, and what people have written about one another. They manage to locate the page dedicated to Wes, and all the stupid things he's done. They love him, because of all those things though, that's why they dedicated an entire three pages to him. So Kurt and Blaine are occupied, whilst Wes is basically talking to himself, and by the time they get to Niagara Falls, everyone is kind of excited, and pumped. Wes can do that, pump them up when they need to be._

_They spend the day at the falls, taking pictures and laughing and having a good time. Wes just watches his friends from where he's seated at lunch, all laughing and happy, and silently congratulates himself for knowing that this was going to be a kick-ass trip. When it begins to get dark, and cold, Wes piles them back on the bus, stating that he's booked accommodation in Buffalo, and they're going to be there a couple of days, so they can explore and just make the most of being together for the last three months of their highschool lives. It only takes twenty minutes to get to their hotel, and another twenty for them to be checked into the penthouse suite, which is big enough for all of them. They notice that Wes brought their game station from Dalton, and a couple of board games, and music. Kurt is put in charge of karaoke, and Blaine knows that is the worst possible position for put his boyfriend in, because it gives Kurt power… sometimes it goes to his head, and he makes people sing songs that are terrible, on purpose, just because he can. But when he grins wickedly, and winks at Blaine, the tenor can't help but wink back, and then watch as he makes David sing a Katy Perry number they hadn't attempted at Dalton, but the Cheerio's did once at McKinley. Wes is next, and he's forced to sing a Spice Girls song with three other Warblers, but manages to make it a little less sucky. Then, when Blaine raises his hand, and challenges Kurt to a song by Sia, the Head Warbler shouts something about it "being on". Of course, Kurt kicks his boyfriend's arse to hell and back, but they part with "the promise of meeting again". _

'_Okay, next time we're doing Katy Perry' Blaine said, as he and Kurt made their way to the room they had dibs on_

'_Nope, you don't get a say Blaine. I am in control tonight,' Kurt whispered, smirking_

'_Oh really?' Blaine asked, pressing Kurt against the bedroom door…_

* * *

Finn and Kurt are sitting in the middle of the countertenor's half empty bedroom. They're packing things up, preparing to move it to their house in Massachusetts, which is going to be hard enough, without the constant reminder that they're going to be on opposite sides of the country. Kurt had promised himself, and basically begged Finn, not to get emotional about it, because then he'd never be able to handle the whole thing, and he's having a hard enough time saying goodbye to his father and Carole. Blaine has had to talk him back into moving a few times, and he's even thought about running away from this whole thing, just going somewhere that no one would think to look, back to the last place he felt everything fall away. The knowledge that they're graduating in two weeks, is still weighing heavily on him, and then they're moving to Massachusetts, where he and Nick will be taking some Freshmen Prep classes. They're whole lives are about to begin. That's what their teachers keep saying to them, that's what his father keeps telling him. But he's been through more in his life this year, than most people. Hasn't his life already begun? To top it off, he's got like, six years of Law School ahead of him, and he doesn't even know if he'll still want to be on that path next year, let alone for the next six. Finn begins talking about the first time he and Kurt met one another at school, and for a while he gets lost in the memories, almost forgetting that this whole time, his boyfriend has been absent from helping to box and move things. An hour later, both Burt and Blaine enter Kurt's room, standing beside one another, looking awkward. Kurt just raises an eyebrow at them, and then asks what's going on. Finn puts his foot in his mouth by saying that even if they're having sex, they're being safe, and Burt looks between Kurt and Blaine, then back at Finn, who is trying to make himself invisible from Kurt's glare, and Blaine's gaping.

They're all silent for a moment, and then Blaine tells the room that he has something he needs to say, and that he doesn't want anyone to interrupt until he's done. Nick and Jeff arrive moments later, Carole behind them, and suddenly Kurt's room isn't a big as it seems with everything packed into boxes. Burt is watching his son's boyfriend, having a feeling that he already knows what Blaine is going to ask him, and already knowing his answer. But he knows that Kurt doesn't have any idea, and he cherishes the chance that he's going to see the genuine reaction to the news that Blaine is to share with them. Obviously, Nick knows, because he's smirking at Blaine, but moves to stand beside Kurt, almost in a protective stance like Finn, but their height difference is astonishing. His mind isn't on what's happening in his room, Kurt is so far away from this moment. He hears snippets of Blaine's conversation, and he nods at points so that his boyfriend thinks he's listening to what he's saying, but he's mastered the art of being in two minds at once, it's a gift he likes to keep hidden, but it's worked well for him for years. It's kind of a mini freak-out again, he's worried that they're going to have a fight, and then a falling out, and Kurt doesn't think he'll be able to handle that, because he's lost enough people he loves, he doesn't need to lose anymore. Nick is watching him, a smirk on his face, and he frowns. Obviously, something is going on, but he's still in the middle of his silent freak-out. Burt and Carole ask Blaine a couple of questions, and he begins to respond, and then Nick and Jeff chime in, with Finn asking something stupid to top it off, and then, before he can comprehend what's going on, Blaine is taking his hands, turning to face Burt, and Carole's excitement is enough to break Kurt out of his stupor. He sees Nick gaping, and then hears a voice in his head telling him that this could change everything. Finn pats his shoulder reassuringly.

'Mr and Mrs Hummel, I would like you permission to make a promise of marriage to Kurt,' Blaine said, and that's when the countertenor flew back to earth, the blood rushing to his ears at what he'd just heard

'Blaine, you've had my blessing since you first stepped foot in this house,' Burt replied, pulling the tenor into a hug, then he turns to Kurt, and kneels in front of him, pulling out a simple silver band

'Kurt, this isn't a proposal, it's a promise that one day, I will propose to you. One day, when we've finished college, and have steady work. I want to marry you. Will you accept this promise ring?' Blaine asked

'Yes you idiot,' Kurt replied, letting Blaine put the ring on his finger, and then pulling him to his feet to kiss him, hearing the cheers from the people around them

* * *

It comes a few days later, on the day that Rachel returns to Ohio, with a message that Schuester wants to meet them at McKinley, because he has some news. Blaine accompanies Kurt, because they were wish Alisha, Mercedes and Finn when he got the message, and because Blaine wants the opportunity to see Kurt's former highschool. Alisha is excited to finally meet all the New Directions, and just as they pull into the school car park, Finn begins freaking out about Rachel and what is going to happen. Kurt assured him that Rachel won't be a problem, because she has her eye on someone else, and it isn't Finn and his new girlfriend. He's about to ask Kurt how he knows that, but then Alisha and Mercedes appear beside him, and they cut their conversation short, heading towards the choir room. When they get there, Emma is flipping through the McKinley year book, and smiles when they enter, handing them a copy, and telling them to turn to page sixty. It's surprising that Sue allowed the Glee Club to have so many pages in the book (they got six), let alone put Kurt on the list of alumni to graduate in abstention from McKinley, even though he's graduating from Dalton. Rachel and Alisha are talking in the corner, whilst Finn and Puckerman are chatting with Mike about something, and Tina and the girls are chatting with Blaine about his "proposal" and Kurt's ring. The countertenor is just sitting in his usual seat, smiling to himself, remembering back to all the time he'd been in this room, thinking that the most important thing was beating Rachel for solos, and hiding away his feelings, because he was afraid of letting people too close. He watches Blaine, and wonders what would've happened if Blaine had of come here, instead of him going to Dalton, he couldn't imagine that it would've been much different, just without Wes bugging them twenty-four seven. At three, Schuester arrives, and excitedly greets each of his former students. He has an announcement that he wants to share with them in person, and he wants to share it with them in the auditorium… one last time.

Blaine remarks that the last time he was in the McKinley auditorium, it was when the Warblers lost to them at Regional's. Rachel makes a point of jokingly making fun of him for it, then takes a seat in the front row, in between Kurt, and Mercedes, who are dodging questions from Brittany and Santana about why they've been so out of the loop lately. Kurt hasn't told them about going to see his mother. He doesn't think it necessary to drag it all out into the open again. He's got the closure he needed, now he's moving forward with his life. Mr Schuester takes the stage, Emma beside him. They're surprised when Sue arrives, jiving at them like normal, and then telling Will to "make it quick because she can't stand his Brillo head for much longer" but there is a small smile on her face, and Blaine swore that she winked, but Kurt scoffs at him, and Puck practically tells him he's an idiot if he thinks that Sue has ever smiled. It's been a longstanding bet between the New Directions and some other people at McKinley, that the first person to see Sue smile, gets the money they have put away in their little bets pool. So far, no one has won, but Puck is now determined to get Sue to smile, he won't let a Warbler take it from him, which is what he says after Blaine's statement, chuckling along with the others. After a song and dance number, involving the Schuster's, and forcing Sue to join in, then Rachel commanding the stage for a New Directions performance to blow others out of the water (she lets Kurt and Blaine join in), they finally manage to settle down long enough to listen to what their former Glee Teacher has to tell them.

'I, like you, am leaving McKinley at the end of the school year. I have been offered a teaching fellowship… in London,' Schuester said, and everyone's mouths dropped open

'Mr Schuester, you're going to London?' Rachel asked, still reeling from the news

'Yes, we leave two weeks after graduation,' Emma replies

'Congratulations Mr Schuester. You deserve it,' Kurt says, and then everyone cheers and hugs are shared, and everyone in the room gets to see Sue smile that day…

* * *

**June 26****th**** – Two Days before Graduation (Dalton)**

Burt and Carole had "gone out of town" for "work" leaving the house empty, and Finn's mind to connect the dots. He's letting them throw a party. Whilst Kurt thinks this is a stupid idea, because he's pretty sure they're having a party at Mercedes' house tomorrow night, he agrees, but asks his father and Carole if tonight can just be a celebration between them, and Nick and Jeff. So that's why they're all gathered around the kitchen table, playing Monopoly, and listening to Alisha and Finn schooling one another on who is better at the game, and who is going to get what when the other wins or loses. To be honest, Nick notes, they sound kind of like Kurt and Blaine did in their honeymoon faze, only the Klaine honeymoon hasn't ended yet, they're still waiting for that shoe to drop apparently. Blaine just pokes his tongue out at the other boy, who returns the gesture, leaving Jeff and Kurt to rolls their eyes at their respective boyfriends, before laughing at Burt's lack of knowledge of Monopoly. It's just after Kurt buys Park Place, that there is a knock on the door, and he's shouting to Finn not to steal any of his money whilst he answers the door. What he's not expecting, is to see Elizabeth standing on the other side of the door…..

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**A/N: Elizabeth showing up at the Hudmel house, brings out sides of everyone that they thought had been buried away. Finn finally meets the woman who abandoned his brother. David realises that he can't stand in the way of anyone's happiness, and tells Wes that he should do what he thinks is right. He's surprised at the choice his best-friend makes. Graduation Day for Dalton Academy arrives, and surprisingly, Elizabeth is present. Burt makes Kurt promise, that he's not going to get attached to her being here, to make sure that he knows she's just going to leave again. Blaine picks up the pieces when she does so, just like thirteen years ago. Rachel and Wes make an announcement. McKinley Graduation. Nick, Jeff, Kurt and Blaine leave for Massachusetts. Flashbacks include: Flashbacks include: Kurt meets Wes, David and the rest of the Warblers, a fight between Kurt and his father when he's ten, threatens to tear them apart, Kurt has a dream, in which he and Blaine are at McKinley with Nick and Jeff. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	16. Infinity and Beyond

**A/N: Hey guys. So it's been almost two months since my last upload. I'm so sorry for that. I've been working like crazy, and preparing to go back to Uni, and doing Beta Stories... it's just been a hectic month. Hopefully, I can get back to some kind of schedule where I can go back to uploading once a week, but I think this story is almost done. I've got a couple more ideas in the works, but we'll see how we go. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope to be back to uploading another chapter next week. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Infinity and Beyond….**

**Previously – June 26****th**** – Two Days before Graduation (Dalton)**

Burt and Carole had "gone out of town" for "work" leaving the house empty, and Finn's mind to connect the dots. He's letting them throw a party. Whilst Kurt thinks this is a stupid idea, because he's pretty sure they're having a party at Mercedes' house tomorrow night, he agrees, but asks his father and Carole if tonight can just be a celebration between them, and Nick and Jeff. So that's why they're all gathered around the kitchen table, playing Monopoly, and listening to Alisha and Finn schooling one another on who is better at the game, and who is going to get what when the other wins or loses. To be honest, Nick notes, they sound kind of like Kurt and Blaine did in their honeymoon faze, only the Klaine honeymoon hasn't ended yet, they're still waiting for that shoe to drop apparently. Blaine just pokes his tongue out at the other boy, who returns the gesture, leaving Jeff and Kurt to rolls their eyes at their respective boyfriends, before laughing at Burt's lack of knowledge of Monopoly. It's just after Kurt buys Park Place, that there is a knock on the door, and he's shouting to Finn not to steal any of his money whilst he answers the door. What he's not expecting, is to see Elizabeth standing on the other side of the door…..

* * *

**Now: June 28****th ****– Dalton Graduation Ceremony**

He and Blaine are chatting with some of the other Warblers, all dressed in their respective graduation garb, ready for their names to be called, and diplomas to be handed out. Kurt was named class Valedictorian, and has the honour of making a speech, which he's been stressing about for the last week or so, especially since his mother showed up out of the blue, and decided she suddenly wants to be a part of his life. Burt wouldn't let her stay in the house, and it's causing some problems between him and Carole, and it kills Blaine, because Kurt's blaming himself for everything, and it's not his fault that he has a shitty mother. There have been arguments and shouting matches, and words shared that Blaine would never have though would've come out of Burt Hummel's mouth. Carole had some pretty nasty things to say to the woman, and when Burt defended Carole against Elizabeth, well things went downhill from there. Of course, Kurt had just taken Blaine up to his room, closed and locked the door, blasted music and ignored what was going on downstairs. Of course, they'd got lost in the moment, and had sex a few times, not that either of them were complaining about it, just that it wasn't something they had _expected _to be doing, especially with the adults downstairs, and Finn having his own turn and share of words. Eventually, the shouting stopped, and the slamming front door indicated that Elizabeth had left the house. Kurt returned to the lounge, and found his father pacing, and Carole asking him to sit down before he gives himself another heart attack. But here they are, standing in line, ready to enter the auditorium to graduate, and somewhere in the back of the room, between lines of parents who didn't pre-book tickets, stands Elizabeth. Blaine glares at her, but she's too far away to see it. He wants so badly to have his own go at her, but right now, they're about to graduate.

Kurt and Blaine don't get to sit with one another at the ceremony, mostly because Hummel and Anderson are so far apart in the alphabet, and also because Kurt is on the stage as the valedictorian, and that means he gets a special seat on the stage with the teachers, faculty and dean of Dalton. Wes is, unfortunately, sitting beside him, because they wanted to keep the Warblers together, and Wes doesn't understand alphabetical order the right way, he thinks it means something other than what it does, and Blaine would explain it, but even he doesn't understand it. From where he's seated in between their Warbler Teacher and the Dean, Kurt can see his family, the Warblers, and Elizabeth at the back of the room. His averts his gaze so that she doesn't notice him looking at her. Honestly, he doesn't know why she decided to come, she's not welcome here, and she should know that by the way everyone has been acting the last two days. Kurt hasn't had a chance to talk to her, but she told him that she wants to take him, Blaine, Nick and Jeff out to celebrate. He agreed, but made his father, and Carole, Finn and Alisha attend with them, so that he would have something to fall back on where she decides she's done with them again, because that's what his father told him to remember. He told Kurt not to get attached to her being here that she's just going to up and leave again. He wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, remind himself that maybe because she's here, she's different. He's trying to. He can see that Wes and David are annoying Blaine, and even he can hear their incessant whispering, and he's on the stage, three metres away. He sends his boyfriend a wink, and Blaine smirks, winking back, and then elbows Wes in the side, sending the Warbler sprawling onto the floor, dramatically stating that he's been elbowed. The teachers roll their eyes, the audience laughs, Wes stands, and bows then resumes his seat. _Dramatic much... _Blaine thinks, turning his attention back to their Dean talking.

* * *

**FLASHBACK **

**Kurt Meets Wes and David and the Warblers for the First Time**

_Nick led him through the Dalton halls, and into the large rehearsal space occupied by about thirty young boys, varying in ages, from freshmen to Senior. Nick found Jeff, and called him over, introducing him to Kurt, finally, as they've been together for a while. He was quickly introduced to all the Warblers, including the Twins, Elijah and Emmanuel, Thad, a council member, Riker, Ian, Paul and Scotty. Then he was introduced to Head Warbler, and Head of the Council, Wes, and his second in command "Secret Lover" David. By the time he'd gotten through all of the Warblers, the bell was ringing in his ears, and Nick was shuffling them off to their first class of the day, which happens to be history. Nick sat beside Jeff, and because Kurt's new, he was assigned the empty seat in the room, which happened to be beside Blaine, who he'd heard Nick mention a couple of times, and knows him to be the Lead Warbler on most, if not all, of their songs, but he didn't expect him to be _absolutely gorgeous_ and dapper. On his left, was Wes, who immediately began prying into Kurt's life, unhappy with the responses he was getting, when Kurt refused to answer the questions he was asking. He asked if the countertenor was interested in joining the Warblers, so that they can kick some New Direction butt, but Kurt just looked at him like he was crazy, and told him that he's here to focus on school work, to get good grades, be valedictorian, and get into Law School. Wes was impressed, and annoyed all at the same time, but dropped the conversation when Blaine sat down on Kurt's right, and the teacher started talking. When class was over, the teacher asked Kurt and Blaine to stay behind for a moment, Nick just nodded, and told him he'd catch up with him in Study Hall. Kurt sat back down, as did Blaine, both waiting for what the teacher was going to say. _

_About ten minutes later, after Blaine had been assigned to help Kurt catch up, they both left the room, making plans to catch up for study at some point in the next week or so. Kurt nodded, and thanked the boy, before heading off to his Physics class, which thankfully, Blaine, Wes and David weren't in. He actually managed to get work done in this class, as he didn't have anyone staring at him, or asking him stupid questions. He's going to have to talk to them eventually, he doesn't want to be rude, but he is new here, and he does need to catch up. Also, he has no plans to join the Warblers, and sing his heart out in the background. He has to focus on his studies if he wants to get into Law School. As the bell rang for lunch, Kurt managed to get back to his and Nick's dorm room, to find it empty. He grabbed his sandwich from his bag, one his father gave him "for the road" and at it, whilst he studied History, Physics, and caught up on their English text. At three, when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, he got a text from Nick in their made up language, stating that he has Warbler rehearsal, but he'll be back in time for dinner, then the three of them (meaning Jeff) can head to the cafeteria together. Kurt sent him a yes as a reply, and went back to reading, having no desire to attend dinner in the cafeteria. In his mind, he counted off the Warblers he'd met, and tried to put their names to faces. Elijah and Emmanuel were the twins, Elijah the one with the slightly darker blonde hair. David was the boy who always seems to be attached to Wes, the Head Warbler. Riker, Ian and Paul were easy enough to remember: ginger, brunette and black hair, and Tyson and Byron were the two who always made the best practical jokes. Suppose he's just going to have to get to know them all if he wants to survive here. _

* * *

Kurt is standing in what used to be his and Nick's dorm room, doing one last inspection, making sure they aren't leaving anything behind. They're not meant to move into the new house until September, but Jeff managed to get them in there at the beginning of August, and Kurt wants to make sure that they have everything they need. Burt is going to drive there with them, help them settle in, and then drive back the next day, leaving them to get on with their college lives. After the graduation ceremony, they're heading to Breadsticks with their friends and family, just for one last Warbler gathering, before they all go their separate ways over the summer. Wes, still crying on Thad's shoulder, manages to get out a full sentence that if they want to, they can all come back to David's and watch a movie. In the time between this announcement, and arrival at Breadsticks, David had talked to Wes about what had happened whilst they were in New York. He and the former Head Warbler haven't been close since the incident, where he wanted to go to school in New York, and purse a relationship with Rachel Berry. He had been standing in the way, and realises now, seeing Wes and the brunette talking, that he can't stand in the way of his best-friend's happiness. He pulled Wes aside, and patted his shoulder, telling in that he isn't going to stand in the way of his, or anyone's, happiness, and that he thinks Wes should do what he thinks is right, even if that means going to college in New York. The hug it out, and then both of them return to the table, and become their loud, boisterous selves again. It's amusing to watch from where Blaine and Kurt are standing, and obviously, something is going on there. He takes Blaine's hand, and the two head outside, and over to Kurt's Navigator, getting in, and heading back to the Hudmel house. It's going to be empty, which is good, because they're celebrating. Last night, on their "last-highschool-date" as Blaine had called it, there had been a proposal. Not a marriage proposal, they're far too young for that. A proposal of promise. Blaine had been preparing the whole thing for about a month. Blaine gave him a silver band, in scripted with a date, on which he would ask to Kurt to marry him. Essentially, it's a promise ring. He has an identical one on his left hand as well.

When they get to the Hudmel house, Elizabeth is waiting on the front porch. She watches the Navigator pull up, and Kurt and Blaine get out. They walk over to her, and she asks Kurt if they can just talk, that's all she wants, is to just talk to him. Reluctantly, and against Blaine's protests, he lets the woman inside, and they sit at the kitchen table, whilst Blaine heads upstairs to put the rest of their stuff away. Kurt just sits in silence, listening to Elizabeth say that she is so proud of him, that she's happy she got to be there to witness him graduate highschool, and that Blaine seems like a nice boy. Kurt just nods, standing to get them a drink. He asks her how long she's sticking around, and she promises Kurt that she is going to be here for a couple of weeks, that she wants to try to get to know him before he moves. Against all the words being shouted at him in his mind, he agrees, and when Blaine returns downstairs an hour later, the two are laughing, and sharing hilarious stories about different parts of their lives. He's shocked, but sits down, and listens to the woman talk, watches his boyfriend's genuine laugh, and wonders just what is going to happen when she ups and leaves again, because there is no doubt in his mind, that when they wake up one day, she isn't going to be here anymore. Again. But for now, he lets them have their moment. He can't begrudge Kurt a little time of reminiscence with the woman who abandoned him. When Finn gets back to the Hudmel house, he's alone, but spots Elizabeth sitting in their dining room, and goes over to her. She stands, and he introduces himself as Kurt's brother, no step, just brother, because that's what he is. She shakes his hand, and heads the warning that if she hurts Kurt again, she'll be sorry. She nods once, and Finn pats Kurt's shoulder, stating that he'll be upstairs.

'Do you think this is natural? I'm worried about him. She's going to take off again, I can see it in her eyes Finn,' Blaine said, managing to catch the taller boy at the bottom of the stairs

'I know. Look, I don't want Kurt to be broken again any more than you, but the only way that he's going to learn that what we're saying is true, is for it to happen again. I'm sorry, but that's just… she's a con artist but he needs this,'

'He has me this time. He has me here, I'll help pick up the pieces,' Blaine replied, and Finn nodded

'I'll be in my room, call me if you need anything,' Finn said, heading the rest of the way up the stairs,

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**The Fight**

_He didn't understand. He couldn't. sometimes all a little boy needs is his mother to comfort him and tell him that everything is going to be alright, but his father is refusing to tell him where she is, and why she won't come home, so now they're here, shouting at each other, Kurt shouting that Burt doesn't love him, that he's always hated him, and Burt shouting that if Kurt thinks that, then obviously he isn't the person he thought he was, and that his mother isn't going to fix anything. At ten, Kurt seems to understand things better than most. It's been five years since Elizabeth abandoned him. He's been feeling the need to find her, and the kids at school are bullying him, and he doesn't know what he's doing. He feels really great one day, and like shit the next, and his father telling him that he think he's worthless isn't helping one little bit. Kurt shouts that he hates his father, and runs upstairs, slamming his bedroom door. He's not old enough to drive anywhere, and the buses don't run this late, and even if Mandy would come and get him, she would want an explanation, to which she'd just say that he and Burt need to sit down and work it out. But he's been trying to do that. His father won't tell him what he wants, and deserves, to know, so how are they supposed to talk about what's on his mind? How can they make up and get their relationship back, if what Kurt really wants to know, is the one thing his father thinks he needs to "protect" him from? Kurt lays on the floor of his bedroom, starting up at the ceiling, not thinking about anything. His mind is blank. He wonders what Nick is doing, and sends the boy a text, waits five minutes, then shuts his phone off when he doesn't get a reply. He doesn't know how long he's been lying here, but when he opens his eyes again, he's on his bed._

_The next morning, Burt drops him off at school, and Kurt waits for a moment, wanting to say something to his father, but the man isn't looking at him, so Kurt just gets out of the car, slamming the door closed, and watches as he drives off. Nick meets him at the entrance, and the two walk in together, Kurt telling his best-friend about the fight that he and his father are currently in the middle of. Nick doesn't say much, but he tells Kurt that no matter how many times he begs, his father isn't going to tell him anything, and it's not because he doesn't want to, it's because he probably doesn't know anything. For the rest of the day, Kurt thinks about what he said. His father would tell him if he knew something, but maybe Nick is right, and he doesn't know where his mother is. At ten, usually a child would need to be nurtured by their parents, they are meant to be shielded from things like this. A mother shouldn't abandon her child, and leave them alone to wallow in the grief she's left behind. But Kurt was dealt the shitty hand. His mother was the one who left, and he has to be the one to pick up the pieces. His father is so busy shielding him from everything else in the world that could hurt him, he's forgotten that what Kurt needs sometimes, is just a hug, or someone to talk to, laugh with, or be forced to watch sports with. Most of the day is spent with Kurt day dreaming, not listening to what the teachers are saying, or the others kids around him. He spends some time on the computer, searching for whatever he can spell, and then when the bell rings at the end of the day, he decides to walk home, telling Nick he'll see him tomorrow, whilst the other boy just watches as Kurt heads for the gate. _

* * *

It's early, about four am to be specific. Elizabeth throws a jacket on over the polo she's wearing, and grabs her bag from the floor, tiptoeing down the stairs. She looks back up at the room where he son is sleeping, and sighs. Breaking his heart again isn't what she wants to do, but it's impossible for her to stay here, with Burt and the memories of the house haunting her whatever room she's in. What she doesn't expect, is to have the hall light switch on, and her son standing in front of her, arms crossed, defeated look on his face. Elizabeth looks like a deer that got caught in the headlights, and drops her bag in shock. Kurt doesn't say anything else, just watches her, as she tries to come up with some form of explanation. She doesn't see Finn and Blaine at the top of the stairs, watching the whole scene unfold. Kurt pushes the memory of thirteen years ago from his mind, trying to not re-live the whole thing. He's trying not to break, Blaine wants to go down there, hug him, but he doesn't want to startle Elizabeth, because if anyone can make her change her mind, and it will be her son. He sends a silent message to Finn to do the same, and they share a nod of acceptance, before turning back to watch the scene below. They say nothing, but after what feels like an hour, Kurt moves towards the woman, steps past her, yanks open the front door, and stands aside to let her out. Blaine watches the look on his boyfriend's face, knowing that he's giving her the choice of staying or going. He wasn't expecting Elizabeth to pick up her bags and steps towards the open door. Kurt didn't say anything to her, just let her walk out the door. She turned to face him, wanting to say sorry, but Kurt closed the door, letting it slam, and locked it again, before turning to find his brother and boyfriend descending the stairs. They stood silently for a moment, as Kurt took in what had just happened, his mother had left… again. Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's arm, pulling him close, and hugging him tightly, Finn wrapping them both in a hug, earning a chuckle from Blaine, and a small smile from Kurt.

At ten am, they all head to McKinley for Finn's graduation ceremony. Kurt doesn't let go of Blaine's hand as they enter the auditorium, and see Mr. Schue and the Glee Club milling around near the stage, Mercedes clutching onto him when she sees him and Blaine. Rachel doesn't joke about Blaine being in their auditorium, and then gathers all of the group together, and makes an announcement that Kurt never thought he would've heard in a million years: Rachel is dating Wes. Kurt's mouth drops open, and he drops the cap he's holding in surprise, as the rest of the Glee Club let out simultaneous 'What's', and then they're all congratulating Rachel, and asking her how it happened. Kurt just winks at her, and when she hugs him, jokingly says that the Warblers aren't that bad. She laughs, and smiles, nodding happily. Blaine calls David and asks him to explain what the hell is going on, and does this mean that Wes is moving to New York? David is as surprised as Blaine, and the former Lead Warbler feels a little guilty that he was the one to spill the secret, but also still wants to know the answers to his questions. He calls Wes, but there isn't an answer, so he gives up to watch the ceremony, and then realises what Wes wasn't answering his phone, was because he's standing at the back of the room, hiding in the background. Blaine rolls his eyes, but smirks when he sees the former Head Warbler almost shed a tear as his "girlfriend" graduates. Kurt stands up, and leads the ovation for Finn, who just fist bumps the air, and laughs at Carole, Burt and Kurt, cheering for him, and the rest of the New Directions, as they're called onto the stage. After this he, Nick, Jeff and Blaine are leaving for Massachusetts, so this will be the last time they're all together for a while. Finn finds them directly after they're dismissed, and Kurt hugs his brother, who tells him they'll catch up soon. Burt walks with them out to the car park, and tells Kurt to call when they get there. He nods, takes Blaine's hand, and heads towards their car.

'You ready for this?' Blaine asks, as Kurt is buckling his seatbelt

'Always,' he replies, smiling the first genuine smile since this morning

'Let's go then' Blaine replies, waving to the others as they drive out of the McKinley parking lot, and towards their futures.

* * *

Finn had let his parents drive him to the airport, mostly because he didn't want to leave his car, there, and when he decides that he's going to drive it back to LA, he's going to need money, to make all those stops on the way. Carole was having a hard time holding back the tears at the fact that both of her sons have left the nest, all grown up, and heading to college. Finn hugs her the longest, before pulling back, and promising that he and Alisha will come back for holidays, and she can finally meet her, and gush with her over whatever it is that women talk about. When the announcement informs people that the flight to LA is boarding, Burt and Carole wave as they watch Finn enter the boarding gate, turning once to wave to them, before disappearing onto the plane. Burt took his wife's hand, and they walked back to the car park, trying to find their car. Kurt and Blaine would no doubt be almost halfway to Massachusetts by now, and with Finn's plane just taking off, Burt reached the same conclusion as his wife, that their kids are grown and out of the house, and now the only time they're going to see them, is on holidays, or whenever they fly in for a lighting visit, which might be hard for Kurt, considering he's going to Law School, and it's a four or five hour drive from school to Lima. He just has to get used to having the house to just himself and Carole. Maybe he can retire, and make himself happy by immersing himself in helping out McKinley, making sure that Sue and Schuester are doing the best job they can, that the arts never fade from the world, because that's what saved his son really, when what he needed the most wasn't available, he found an outlet in music, that Burt would've thought ridiculous, if he wasn't Kurt. They've been asking him to run for re-election on the school council board, and Schuester and Sue said they'll back him. Carole just smiles when he brings it up, and tells him that he should do it.

The house was silent when they got home. Burt went upstairs and stood in the doorway to Kurt's bedroom, noting its emptiness. Carole joined him a moment later, wrapping her arms around his waist, and kissing his cheek. It's going to take a long time to get used to not having his sons in the house, always a door slam away if they don't agree with something. But he's happy that his kids are happy, that they're going to get good jobs, and have good lives, and he's glad for Blaine Anderson and Nick Duval. He's glad that on that day, when Kurt was five, he was able to find the courage to find his way home, and even though Mandy was the one who brought him home, she said that Kurt never once cried, or anything. In fact, he and Nick spent the whole time chatting in the back seat of the car. Burt had to chuckle at the memory….. Kurt closed his eyes, smiling to himself. Blaine was driving, and they were meeting Nick and Jeff at the house. The two had gone yesterday, to get some things ready, and Kurt and Blaine would join them today. Kurt thought back to the years that he and his father had been on their own, then when he met and married Carole, and Kurt got another brother, Finn. Then he got a family, and now he's moving forward with his life, and he has Blaine beside him. The countertenor leans over the space between them, and pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's cheek, smiling when the tenor winks at him. He has it good now…. Finn reclined back in his seat, closing his eyes, and wishing that the plane ride from Ohio to LA wasn't as long. He thought back to the first day he met Kurt, and Burt, and then when his mother told him they were getting married. Back then, he was still getting over everything that was happening, but now, he wouldn't change anything he has for the world…. They all have everything they need… right there beside them. No matter how far away they are, they'll always have everything they need…

* * *

**A/N: The gang start preparing for their college years, and Kurt and Blaine deal with the aftermath of Elizabeth leaving… again. Finn and his girlfriend move in together in LA, and Wes and Rachel's relationship is tested by their college schedules, and other obstacles. Burt and Carole lament on their empty house, and reminisce about the past and future. Nick and Jeff decide to make a stronger commitment to one another, and tell Blaine and Kurt that they want to get married before college starts. This brings everyone back together, as Niff tie the knot. Elizabeth appears again, this time at their house in Massachusetts, and sends Kurt spiraling out of control. Blaine is given the opportunity to make an album with one of the biggest names in the business, and has to choose between delaying college, and his dream. Kurt helps him to make the choice, when he says that Blaine shouldn't give up his dream, and that college will always be there for him to come back to. Flashbacks include: Kurt has a dream, in which he and Blaine are at McKinley with Nick and Jeff, the first time Nick told Kurt that he was in a relationship with Jeff, Dalton Shenanigans pre-Kurt and with Kurt. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


	17. Summer, Before College

**A/N: Goodmorning, afternoon, evening, or night depending on where in the world you live. I know that it's been a _long _time since i've uploaded anything to FanFiction, but I was reading through this story, and I realised that I still had some chapters un-posted. So, this is not a sequel, it's just a continuation of the story. I am mostly doing this just for myself. Kind of like a closure thing, but if you're a loyal reader, by all means, I hope you enjoy this. I look forward to returning to posting more frequently, and I'm working on a couple of new stories, so stay tuned for those. I'm also betaing a couple of stories, so uploads might be staggered... that and I'm back at uni... (sarcastic yay). Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Summer, Before College…**

It had gotten to the point of no return. Kurt was spiraling out of control, and Blaine could tell that that it wasn't something they could just snap him out of this time. He was being reckless. Crossing the road on red lights, standing on the edge of the balcony of their house, and not holding on and he leaned forwards. There was also the constant mumbling to himself, and losing himself when he thinks that no one is watching. The only time Kurt is actually _himself _is when he and Blaine are alone together, in their room, studying, or when they have sex. It's the only time Kurt has been able to ground himself, and Blaine thinks… no he _knows _that it has to do with the fact that Kurt was destroyed by Elizabeth leaving… again, and he wishes that he could do _something _to take away the pain that his boyfriend is feeling, but short of _Romeo and Juliet, _there isn't anything they can do, except try and be there for him, and stop him when he goes to do something silly, like balance precariously on the edge of the Hudson River Bridge, on one of their walks, whilst Blaine just reaches out and grabs his hand, and sees the look in Kurt's eye, the one that says thank you, clouding over the one that is dead inside. Nick and Jeff have been so focused on college starting, and moving and everything, that they haven't even had the chance to sit back and notice that their friend is spiraling out of control, and leaving nothing to chance. Blaine is worried. He's almost at the point where he's considering taking Kurt to see a doctor, and he knows how big a betrayal that will end up being. Whilst Kurt sleeps, Blaine calls Finn, given the five-hour time difference, it will only be ten o'clock in California, so he should answer the phone. On the third ring, Blaine hears the mumble on the other end, which faintly sounds like a 'hello', but could have been something else. He begins to tell Finn about what is happening, and he listens as his boyfriend's brother sighs, feeling almost as helpless as Blaine.

In the morning, Blaine wakes up to find Kurt, making pancakes, and humming to himself, and he thinks that this might be a good step forward, but then Kurt burns himself, whether on purpose, or by accident is yet to be determined, on the stove, and everything changes. Blaine grabs his hand, and runs Kurt's palm under cold water, whilst turning off the stove with the other. The countertenor just looks at him. Blaine takes in his boyfriend's appearance. Whilst he's always good looking, Kurt has lost the sparkle behind his eyes, and the bags show that he's sleepless nights are continuing. Blaine places his hand on Kurt's right cheek, and kisses him, softly at first, then deepening the kiss when Kurt tugs on his shirt, and Blaine pushes him back, so he's trapped between his body and the counter. They make out for a while, and then the doorbell rings, and Kurt breaks away from Blaine, as much as he wants this to continue, what he wants to do more, is continue making breakfast. Nick is the one who opens the door, and steps aside to let Finn into their house. Blaine gapes at him, and asks him how he got here so fast. Finn explains that after their phone call, he was worried, and got on the first flight out of Los Angeles. He isn't leaving until he's sure that his brother is alright, and that there isn't any reason to suspect otherwise. Blaine explains about Elizabeth leaving, and Finn slams his fist against their dining room table, then angrily expresses how annoyed he is that they all trusted her, and she just goes and does something like this to Kurt. He's spiraling out of control. Finn and Blaine join Kurt in the kitchen moments later, where the countertenor seems to be doing alright, and remaining relatively calm, but Blaine can see past the exterior that he puts up, and Kurt knows that he can, because he asks Blaine for help using his eyes… he wants to be helped… he doesn't want to be feeling like this. Blaine nods to him, promises that he's going to find a way to help Kurt, and kisses his boyfriend, before joining him and Finn at the table to eat.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Random Dalton Shenanigans with Kurt**

_Wes had decided, once again, that the Warblers would play the most epic game of hide 'n' seek that anyone has ever seen in their lives. Kurt points out that no one is actually going to see it, except them, and that it's ridiculous that it's the weekend, and they have to be in uniform, to play "Warbler Hide 'n' Seek". Wes just shrugs, and goes about explaining the rules. Kurt had been wanting to spend the weekend studying for their French test on Monday, but of course, his boyfriend had given him the Puppy eyes, and begged him to play. Now, Kurt is sitting in the Rehearsal room, in his _uniform _on a Saturday, pretending to be interested in whatever Wes is talking about. He doesn't give two shits to be honest. Really, he would rather just study, but because he's new here, and he doesn't want to seem like a party pooper, and because of Blaine, he decided that one game of Epic Warbler Hide 'n' Seek, wouldn't be that bad. Of course, the minute Wes shouts that everyone has to hide, and the Warblers sprint off to their hiding locations, he regrets playing. The rules are simple. 1) you can't hide in classrooms, dorm rooms or teacher's offices. 2) the cafeteria is off limits for the game, due to the last time they played… something about spilt milk. 3) if you're found, you return to the common room, and wait for the others and 4) if Wes or David finds you, you must be prepared to face whatever challenge they present to you at the time of spotting…. This is the rule that Kurt hates the most. He and Blaine have many good hiding spots around Worthington House, there are only three that Kurt knows David and Wes know about. The other are just private spots for them to escape the hustle and bustle that it their friends… the Warblers. Kurt sneaks into one of his and Blaine's private alcoves on the third floor of Worthington House. This particular alcove, is the perfect spot to sit, and just watch the world outside, because it has the best view over the fences of Dalton, and into the courtyard, where a few of the other Worthington House Warblers who are here for the weekend are running around trying to hide. He vaguely hears someone shout "Ready or not" but he's not really paying attention. _

_At four, Kurt gets a text from Blaine asking if he's alright, because the game ended twenty minutes ago, and he was the only one that Wes and David couldn't find. Kurt replies that he's fine, that he'll be down in a minute, and when he enters the common room, finds all the Warblers standing around, some drenched from the sudden downpour outside, others, watching in relief as they saw Kurt enter the room, able to be grateful that he hadn't been kidnapped and murdered by a psycho. Kurt won the game, which Thad pointed out, meant he got to choose any prize he wanted, and that would last until the next time they get to play, and someone else wins. Kurt smirks, and looks over at Wes, stating that the Head Warbler can't use his gavel "Mr Bangy" for a whole week. Everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Wes to break down, and beg Kurt to change his mind, but the Head Warbler nods, hands his precious gavel to Kurt, and turns back to the desk. But of course, Blaine knows him better than that, and asks Wes to turn over _all _his gavels. This gets the Head Warbler begging Kurt to relent on the punishment, that he can have anything else he wants, but Blaine has already been handed the draw full of gavels by David, who pulls his friend up off the floor, and over to the couch, telling Blaine to just take them whilst he calms Wes down. Kurt winks at his boyfriend, and then turns to leave the room. On the way to Chemistry the next morning, Kurt is not expecting the giant man child to jump onto his back, thanking him profusely, and promising that if Kurt doesn't want to play again, he won't be forced to. Wes just runs off after that, cradling Mr. Bangy as if it's his child. Blaine catches up to his boyfriend just as he's entering the classroom, spotting Wes, and turns to raise an eyebrow at Kurt, who just winks. He got what he wanted, which was to see Wes freak out over his gavels. Now he's done, and going back to being a normal person. This time, it's Blaine who rolls his eyes and smirks… he loves his boyfriend… especially when he's sneaky. Class goes off without a hitch, which Blaine is happy about, because the last thing they need… is more drama._

* * *

Wes had made the choice to move to New York. David had tried to talk him out of it, explaining that it isn't going to benefit his relationship with Rachel, because they've only been together for two weeks, and they can't live together until they understand what their relationship is. But of course, Wes didn't heed his best-friend's advice, and moved to New York, where he's currently rooming with Rachel and Santana in their apartment. It's three bedrooms, because they haven't defined what this is yet, and that's perfectly fine with him. They have all the time in the world. Like tonight for example. He's taking Rachel on their first date. Because yesterday, she was caught up at NYADA with studying, and his schedule is pretty grueling as well, and they haven't had time to just be together, since they _got together._ He really likes Rachel, and despite what David and the others might think, he believes that they have a future. New York's School of Law is very different to CSU's, Wes notes as he heads towards Administration to hand in the paperwork he needs to for transfer. He spots Santana, when he's heading into the building and waves to her, but she's talking loudly in Spanish to someone on the phone, and doesn't see him. Wes isn't a big New York person, but he's taking a chance on his heart, and this is going to be worth it. That night, Rachel prepares herself for their first date, and notes that this will be her first time dating, since she and Finn broke up. Mercedes and Kurt would both tell her that she deserves to be happy, and to move on, and she knows that they're right. But part of her still wants to hold onto what she had with Finn in highschool, even though they know… they all know… that they can't hold onto the past. Wes knocks on her bedroom door at eight, bowing like an idiot, and stating in a fake British accent that her 'chariot awaits'. Rachel giggles, and takes his hand, following him out of their apartment, and into the waiting car, for their first date. Santana pokes her head around her bedroom door, to make sure that Rachel and Wes are gone, before she pulls it open fully, and leads her "friend" out of the apartment. Hey, if man hands can move on, then so can she from Britt.

Over the next few weeks, Wes and Rachel try to work around their college schedules, but whenever Wes is free, Rachel has a class, and whenever Rachel is free, Wes has a class. Their whole relationship so far, has been mumbled words over breakfast and dinner, and twice the curled up together on the couch and watched Netflix. Regardless of that, Wes doesn't want to give up. He knows that she's still pining over Finn, and he understands that what they had was special. That he was her first time and all that drama. But he needs her to be on the same page as him, if they're going to make this work. He really wants to call Blaine, asks his advice, but he got a message from Nick earlier, saying that they're dealing with some things, and to not contact Blaine for a while, that Blaine will call Wes when he's ready. That made the former Head Warbler worry, but he pushed it aside, and tried to listen to Rachel blabber on about an assignment that he doesn't care about. Eventually, after one of their fights, Wes just steps up and pulls the brunette woman into a kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist. Rachel is surprised at first, but then moves her arms to encircle Wes' neck, and they kiss for a while. She hasn't felt like this since she and Finn started dating, she didn't even feel like this when she kissed Puckerman that one time. But this, this is a whole other thing. She doesn't know what she was afraid, why they've been stalling. They could easily move their schedules around to accommodate for personal time, and starting tonight, that's what she's going to do. Making the bold move, she pushes herself closed to Wes, and moves her hands down his chest, to the top of his pants, untucking his shirt, and moving her hands back up his body, resting them on his shoulders, as the former Head Warbler caught up with what was about to happen. Wes just mumbles something against her lips, but Rachel doesn't let him continue, just unbuttons his shirt, and pushes him in the direction of her bedroom.

'Rachel wait, are you sure you want to do this? We've only been out on three dates, and we've only been together for a month and a half,'

'I really like you Wes. This is new to me, feeling the way I feel around you, but I want this, and we can make it work. We can make time for each other. We will,'

'Okay, I really like you too Rachel,' he replied, removing her jacket

'So I guess it's official…' she replied, but was cut off when Wes kiss her again, smirking against her lips…

* * *

When Nick and Jeff get home from one of their dates a couple of weeks later, Blaine notices that they're giddier than usual. He's nursing a hungover Kurt, who is still not being himself. Jeff whispers to Blaine that he and Nick have been talking, and they have decided to put their pasts behind them, and make a stronger commitment to one another. Blaine just raises an eyebrow at them, and knows that it's something big when Nick and Jeff turn to look at each other, before holding up their hands and whisper shouting that they're getting married. Blaine congratulates them, going through his mind are all the things he should say to them, like they're too young, they just started college, they should wait a few years, but he doesn't, because the looks on their faces is enough. Kurt stirs, but only slightly, and Blaine runs his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, promising Kurt that no matter what he's going through, he is never leaving, and he'll always be there, even if Kurt pushes him away. Nick and Jeff have retired to their bedroom, leaving Blaine and a hungover Kurt in the lounge, the shorter of the two just humming Teenage Dream under his breath, whilst running his fingers through Kurt's always impeccable hair again. He wishes that he could save Kurt from whatever is going on in his mind right now…. Wishes that he could see inside his head, and know what he's thinking, so that he can make the pain go away. It's a few minutes later, when Jeff returns to the lounge to tell Blaine that he and Nick are getting married in a week, and that he needs Blaine to call the New Directions are invite them, that the former Lead Warbler kind of loses it a little. He tells Jeff that they're too young to be worrying about marriage, that they should be focused on college, and that this whole thing is ridiculous. Then he apologizes, because Jeff points out that he's mad at himself, more than anyone, for not being able to help his boyfriend. He wants to hate Elizabeth, and he wants to hate himself. He knows it's more her fault that his, but he still blames himself. The worst part, is that he knows part of him is mad at Kurt, and that's what makes this whole thing worse. Because Kurt knew the risks, he knew what kind of person she was, and he knew that this could happen, but he still let it. Blaine moves over to where Jeff is standing near the couch.

'I just… I feel useless Jeff. He won't talk to me, and when he does, it's not about what's really going on in his mind. This is the third time in three weeks, that he's been drunk like this,' Blaine said, sitting back down on the couch, head in his hands, as Jeff sits beside him, patting his back, the two watching Kurt sleep on the futon.

'Blaine, I love Kurt too. He's one of my closest friends, but you know that Finn is right. Part of you know that this is Kurt's fault, that he brought this on himself, for letting Elizabeth back into his life, and you blame Kurt. You love him Blaine, and he loves you. That's why you're both in so much pain,' Jeff replied

'I'm not in pain,' Blaine said looking up at his friend

'Yes, you are. You're in pain that you can't help Kurt, who is clearly hurting. But you have to be careful Blaine. You can't lose yourself. Not if you want to save Kurt,' Jeff whispered, then stood, and smiled when Blaine said he'll call everyone for the wedding.

When Kurt woke up in the morning, with a pounding headache, the first thing he noticed, is that he wasn't in his and Blaine's bedroom, that he was on the futon in the lounge. The second thing he noticed, was all the pieces of paper spread around various rooms of the house, and Nick and Jeff frantically running around, and talking into their phones, whilst Blaine was writing things down, and talking, to who must have been the Warblers, because he kept sighing and saying 'Wes' in his 'you're-really-fucking-annoying-me-right-now' tone. Finn had been informed of the situation… Nick and Jeff had decided to get married in five days, and he and Alisha were invited. Although the former New Direction member wanted to stay for the wedding, he gracefully declined, because hand Alisha were moving into their new apartment tomorrow, and he has to fly back to California. He said this with much reluctance, glancing at his brother, who was looking around at them like they're all barking mad, his hair sticking up all over the place, and his face contorted from the pain in his head. Finn grabbed Kurt as he stumbled, and pulled his brother into a hug, telling him to make sure he takes care of himself, and that he loves him, and he'll talk to him soon. Kurt hugs him back, whispering that he loves Finn too, and wishing that he didn't have to let his brother go, but knowing that it wouldn't be right for him to keep Finn from his life now. He's leaving, but he's not… _leaving _if you get what he means. Kurt moves through the mess of his housemates, and escapes into the shower. He lets the warm water caress his body, leaning his head against the wall, and closing his eyes. Last night, he dreamt that he and his mother were reunited, and then she didn't leave, and it was all good. But then he woke up, and remembered that he had given her the chance to stay, he had wanted her to stay, and she chose to leave… _again. _It kills him to see Blaine like he is too. He knows he's causing them all a great deal of pain, and he wants it all to stop, but he can't see a way out of this hole that he's dug himself into. The denial, the pain, the overwhelming urge to just hit something. He's afraid to tell Blaine, because he likes to think he's strong enough to deal with hit on his own… but he's spiraling, and he can't stop…

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

**Random Warbler Shenanigans with Kurt II**

_One night, the Warblers had decided they would take advantage of the schools "let the students pick where they want to go for school trip this year" tin, and fill it with all the Disneyland slips they could. Of course, the next morning when the School President opened the container, and saw all the Disneyland slips, they knew that they wouldn't be going to sunny California… or Florida. So now, because of a technicality… of being in the Warblers, Kurt, Blaine, Nick, Jeff, Thad, Elijah, Emmanuel, Gerry, Ian, Lachlan, and all of the Warblers, were stuck doing after school house duties, thanks to the stupidity of Wes and David. To be honest, they hadn't been entirely blameless, of course, egging them on every step of the way, and okay, Kurt admits that it's fun, but never to Wes and David's faces. He would never give them the satisfaction of _knowing _they're fun… that would go to their heads, and then things would _really _get out of hand. They had finished up about two hours ago, and whilst most of the Warblers had turned into bed, Nick, Jeff, Kurt, Blaine, Wes, David, Thad, Elijah, Emmanuel and Ian were still up, and deciding what to do next. What Kurt really wanted to do, was take Blaine back to his dorm, and have his way with him, which he whispered in Blaine's ear, and the Lead Warbler had to force himself not to jump Kurt right there and then. When they had settled down enough, David suggested they play a game, or rehearse, or do something to pass the time of their detention… they still have three hours of cleaning, but they finished it in two. Kurt suggested just going to bed like the others, shooting a look at Blaine, who blushed. This was not missed by Wes and David, who then stated that they're going to play…. Truth or Dare Warbler Style. Kurt groaned. He had been told by Nick about this game before, and he would rather not be reminded of the time that his best-friend had been dared to wake him up at four in the morning, pretending that something was after him, only to lead Kurt out into the hall, in nothing but sleep pants, and have five foghorns blaring in his ears. He had almost not forgiven his best-friend after that. Right now, he was tempted to leave, but won the rock paper scissors-off and got to ask Wes first. Of course, the Warbler said dare, and then Kurt smirked evilly, looking at Blaine who winked and nodded._

_Kurt had dared Wes to sneak into the Dalton Student President's Room, and wake him up by blaring the foghorn in his ear, and then dancing around, and singing the Dalton song, all the while he's only wearing a skirt, provided to them by Mercedes, who had donated a bunch of clothes to Dalton, so they could be passed onto the Claxton's Girls' charity. Kurt was sure they wouldn't mind if they were borrowed, and snapped a picture of Wes when he was ready. The Warblers waited, hearing the crash and shout from upstairs, and then Wes' voice, heading back towards them, shouting the Dalton song at the top of his lungs, whilst they all hid around the common room, cheering when Wes entered the room, but quickly quietened when he was followed by the School President, the Dean and the Vice Student President. Kurt sunk back behind Nick, and managed to get himself and Blaine, Nick and Jeff out of the room without being seen, mostly because the ire of the three people had turned on Wes. Blaine kissed his boyfriend when they got back to the dorm, stating that that was the most epic dare he had ever experienced in all his years of playing Warbler Truth or Dare. Kurt just smirked, and pulled Blaine into the room, whilst Nick reminded them both that he's there, and then Blaine suggested they go back to his room, because no doubt David won't be back tonight. Kurt agreed, waving to Nick who silently thanked him with his eyes, and smiled when the door clicked closed, leaving no trace of Kurt or Blaine the room. Had he stayed in the dorm that night, Kurt would have suffered the wrath of Wes, dropping a bucket of cold water onto him whilst he slept, but alas, he was curled up, quite warm and snug in Blaine's arms, and that's where e stayed, until he was woken in the morning by David, banging around on his side of the room. Blaine stirred, kissing Kurt once, before sitting up to tell off his roommate, but David didn't seem to be listening, not even noticing that Kurt was naked in Blaine's bed. Silently, Kurt snuck out of the room, and into the bathroom, changing back into his clothes. When he returned to the bedroom, it was empty, so he left Blaine a note, and went back to his dorm to change, smirking at Wes on the way._

* * *

On the day that Nick and Jeff were due to get married, three things happened that changed all their lives drastically. The first, was, of course, the wedding. Nick and Jeff had all their friends there, and their families, and even Mandy was happy that her son was married, not at all worried that he's only eighteen, and barely out of highschool. It was a simple ceremony, held at the Gardens near their house. It was a nice day, and she was thankful, because they're in a marquee, not the best for the weather. She spotted Burt, who had been hiding in the back, watching Nick and Jeff get married, with a look of pride on his face. Of course, Nick is like another son to him, and he always wants his sons to be happy. Mandy thanked Blaine for all that he did, with the help planning the wedding, and getting everyone here, and making sure that it's the best day possible. Blaine just smiled lightly, and pulled Mandy aside a little, asking for help with Kurt. Nick and Jeff danced on the dance floor with their friends, then with each other, then with their mothers, and finally, with each other again. Wes had made them promise that their getting married wouldn't make them boring. Nick had chuckled, and Jeff had thrown a piece of cheese at him, which was impressively caught by Wes, who smirked and then kissed Rachel. Finn, who had been watching the interaction, smiled happily, sending a nod to Rachel, who smiled back, both knowing that it's okay they're moving on, and they both finally can. Alisha had flown out with Kurt, and was introduced to the New Directions, who basically gave away all Finn's dirty little secrets, but it was all in good fun. The second thing, was that, halfway through the speeches, Elizabeth showed up, bringing with her a flood of emotions from everyone in the room, and causing Kurt to drop the bottle of champagne he was currently pretending not to drink. Blaine had immediately gone to Kurt's side, stating that she wasn't invited that she shouldn't be here, and that she made her choice when Kurt asked her to choose. Nick and Jeff kindly asked her to leave, but she refused until she was able to speak to Kurt, who started shouting at her, and causing a scene.

'YOU DON'T GET TO COME HERE AND DEMAND TO TALK TO ME. YOU WALKED AWAY. YOU LEFT US… AGAIN. I have nothing else to say to you. What I want now is for the pain in my chest to stop. I want to remove you from my heart, because you left. I shouldn't love you, and I hate that I do, because no mother should abandon their child…. I can't make the pain stop… I can't… 'Kurt started sobbing, Blaine moving to hug him, holding the countertenor close to him, as Nick and Jeff started ushering Elizabeth out the door

'Please Kurt, just hear me out. I had to leave you. I couldn't take you with me, and then after graduation…. There were just too many memories. I couldn't go back there Kurt. I just couldn't,' Elizabeth said

'Then why did you come back? I got the answers I wanted from you… why did you come back?' Kurt asked

'I don't know,' Elizabeth replied, and Kurt managed to get away from Blaine, making a run for it… everyone was silent, except for Brittany, who was sobbing in the back of the marquee.

* * *

The third thing that happened that changed them all that day, was returning home, to find Kurt passed out on the bathroom floor, blood running from his arm. Nick immediately dialed 911, and tried to ignore the anger he felt at his best-friend for doing this to himself… but mostly he was angry because Kurt had done this to them as well. He had tried to kill himself once before, Nick knew that… he also knew that Kurt was under an immense amount of pressure, and this sudden reappearance of his biological mother wasn't the best thing to come from this situation. They had gotten answers, he thought they had closure. He had been so wrapped up in himself and Jeff that he hadn't even noticed his best-friend was hurting this badly. Blaine had noticed, and he hadn't been dealing with it too well either. When the paramedics arrived, and they had taken Kurt and Blaine to the hospital, Nick drove back to the hotel he knew Elizabeth was staying at, banged on her door, and waited. She answered, moments later, and saw Nick, standing aside to let him in. he was angry, explaining that Kurt has been through a lot. That they've all been through a lot, that her coming back only made it worse. She shows up announced at their wedding, makes Kurt spiral out of control to the point where he thinks the only way to get rid of the pain he's feeling is to try and kill himself, and thinks they're all going to forgive her? Nick tells her that they've got closure. They don't want any more answers. She's done all she needs to now, she can return to Boulder and live out her life, knowing that she is the reason her son is where he is right now. Elizabeth doesn't shed a tear, telling Nick that she knows she's bad person, but that she loves Kurt, no matter what, but she'll leave. Nick doesn't say anything, just leaves the room, slamming the door and drives to the hospital. Blaine is asleep beside Kurt on the bed, Jeff is reading a magazine in the chair, and the only sounds are the beeping from the machines… this is going to change all of them…. But in what way… well that remains to be seen.

* * *

**A/N: Kurt recovers in hospital, and agrees to talk to a therapist. Burt and Carole lament on their empty house, and reminisce about the past and future. Blaine is given the opportunity to make an album with one of the biggest names in the business, and has to choose between delaying college, and his dream. Kurt helps him to make the choice, when he says that Blaine shouldn't give up his dream, and that college will always be there for him to come back to. Rachel and Wes talk about what they want to be when they finally graduate, and Rachel's ideas are very different to Wes'. Blaine and Kurt talk about getting a pet, much to the chagrin of their roommates. Finn and Alisha have their first fight. Flashbacks include: Kurt has a dream, in which he and Blaine are at McKinley with Nick and Jeff, the first time Nick told Kurt he was in a relationship with Jeff, more Dalton Shenanigans pre-Kurt and with Kurt. Read and Review. Enjoy. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.**


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